[ItsAlive75]

OK, so I have a story that I'm writing for a summer writing class I'm taking. I need critiques and ideas, so go ahead and shoot. It's based on a high school in Vermont that wouldn't allow students to walk on the school crest, kids were expelled for not saluting the flag, and there were student assemblies every day. The story's gonna be really satirical, so bear with me.

So my short story is entitled "And Out Come the Wolves" (obviously from the Rancid CD). Its revolves around a freshmen student, Max, enrolled in Greyberry High school, home of the fighting TimberWolves. There's no music or art classes, all the kids wear the school Letterman jacket, and history class is taught with America winning the Vietnam war. The hall monitors are actual wolves that kill and take away students who are roaming the halls.

Max sees himself as a swirling black cloud every time he looks in the mirror. He doesn't know what he is until the end of the story, but he's the embodiment of pure chaos. At the end he unleashes it and tears the school apart (obviously I'm trying to work with the theme of upheaval against the rules and societal norms by having a character embody drastic change and upheaval).

I don't quite know how to work out some small specifics, so any ideas you all may have to throw at me (positive or negative) would help me out!