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THE ENGINEER, a true story to my disgrace.
I use to work as a lift engineer in the south of England, and for all those of you who have never been on the top of a lift before there are top of car controls. You get "Car", "Off" and "Top" plus up and down buttons, this allows you to overide the lift buttons and basically take the lift to any floor although the doors don't open in this mode. In England every lift door can be opened with a door key to allow access when the lift isn't there, what you do is call the lift, press a button to send it down and jump out, as the lift goes down you pop open the doors and this stops the lift moving due to the door stops (it shuts the power off), then you can climb on top and close the doors again. After a second if you don't select "Off" or "Top" the lift will merrily carry on with it's job.
Anyway I had just got on top this lift in a thirty floor block of flats and was checking my tools, I left the lift running and people were still using it. I heard these people talking so I waited till the lift got to their floor and they got out. The lift went off again to I assumed a floor call, so I stopped it mid floor. After about thirty seconds I heard this grizzling and a feverish banging of buttons. I peered through the hole where the surveilance camera was and saw a little boy of about ten who must of got on at the same floor as the others. My evil and un-thinking side took over and I said in a deep menacing voice "Little Boy". The kid froze and looked round so I said it again with more menace "LITTLE BOYYYYYY". He went fucking apeshit. He was screaming his head off and banging on the doors, luckily he was to short to reach the alarm button which was above the others. I flicked the controls back to car and was praying for it to return to it's programme and go to a floor, ANY floor. After what seemed like forever the lift kicked off with this kid climbing the walls and crying his eyes out, and went to the nearest floor. As the doors opened he ran screaming out the lift and down the corridor. I took the lift down and fucked off fast and denied I was ever there that day.
I am not proud of this incident but.......
When I am sober I feel really bad about this :(
When I've had a drink I laugh my bollocks off :)
If that kid ever reads this "Sorry"
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