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You're the man, filmmaker 2.
Everyone I speak to seems so blown away by the whole DVD experience, those shiny shiny discs seem to have become more important that the feature films themselves.
Hear kids rave about DVD box-sets and ratios and extras and hidden easter eggs.
For starters, crisper pictures show up the glaring abnomalies in cheesecake 70s/80s exploiters; we don't want to see the shoddy effects exposed for what they really are - we want washed out, obscured visuals to really take us there and forget about the "realistic" characters and sets we've just been watching on television.
Secondly: when DVDs go wrong, boy do they go wrong - since when do films suddenly break up into surreal squares and the action freeze like time itself has just stopped? Give us dropouts, flicker from dirty heads and bad tracking - it's the way watching a movie at home is meant to be.
Finally: they're just so fucking skinny and delicate (contrary to popular belief, DVDs are easily scratched and ruined) - you slide
your little tray open, pop the disc in, listen to the wee grinding noise as it searches for the menu (and what a menu! Look - there's bits of the film going on in the background!!!)... it's all just far too computerised, isn't it?
Gimme videotape anyday - the hulking black plastic boxes are so much more personal, and that satisfying crunch as you bang one in the front loader is akin the the slapping noise my balls make against a woman's ass.
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