[Stingy Jack]

I have one ....

This was way back in the day when I was still living with my parents. There was hinting going around that Christmas season that I would be getting a new computer (much like this season). Since my current machine at the time was a Tandy 1000SL, you can appreciate my excitement.

Well, Christmas day rolled around and I was tearing into the presents like a bitch looking for salami, but to no avail. No computer. Plenty of clothes, though.

My parents (clever couple that they were) acted as if the unwrapping was finished. Just as they soaked in my glare of disappointment, my mom slipped off to another room and brought back a large box, wrapped, with my name on it!

My stomach fluttered, my heart vibrated. I decimated that box in no time flat.

It was a word processor. A keyboard and monitor that could do nothing but process words.

Biggest fuckin' let-down ever.