[Stingy Jack]

I don't know what you mean by "I think she needs a kick in the pants to leave the guy." What, exactly, does that entail? Is it something as small as telling her to leave him for you, or something as large as telling him she wants to leave him for you?

In my experience, most people don't leave a marriage because of security. They have been in it a while, have become used to it, and don't want to risk the uncertainty involved in starting over ... even if they have another person lined up. Take a tiger that has been caged up in the zoo for years. He adapts. Becomes used to it. Claims it as his home. If released into the wild, the tiger would return to the cage on his own if given the chance. That's the nature of things.

So, my advice to you is to offer her security. Make room for her and her child at your place, make sure you have a job that can support the additional bills, and be kind to her. But that's it. If she feels secure enough with you, she'll come to you. If not, she won't.

But don't push it. That goes against the feeling of security she's going to be looking for.