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Okay. Here are two of my favorites, starting with a quick Q&A joke:
#1:
Q. What did God say when he saw Eve skinny dipping in the ocean?
A. "Great! I'll never get that smell out of this fish."
#2: A man and his sexy, blonde, big-breasted wife are playing a round of golf near a very expensive neighborhood. The sexy wife steps up to the tee and smacks the ball directly through a large window in an expensive home. The man and his wife reluctantly walk over to apologize.
When they arrive, they open the door to see the broken window, a broken vase and an elderly naked man.
"Who are you?" said the couple.
"I am the genie of that lamp that you've broken. I've been imprisoned for centuries and you've let me free. To show my gratitude, I will give one wish to you and your wife, so long as you allow me to have the third and final wish." says the genie. In awe, the man and wife readily agree.
"I want a bank account that allways has a million dollars in it, no matter how much money I take out!" says the man.
"Done!" says the genie. "Check your account tomorrow and it shall be yours."
"I'd like many vacation homes all around the world, each filled with luxurious furniture, and servants. Lots of servants!" said the sexy wife.
"Done!" says the genie. "When you return home tonight, you will find sets of keys, each leading to a new location."
The couple, extatic at their new prizes smile largely and ask "what is it that you want genie?"
"I've been trapped in that bottle for centuries upon centuries. I want only one hour with your wife, upstairs in the bedroom." says the genie.
The couple stare at each other strangely, but agree that after all the genie has done for them, they owe him this much. So, the sexy lady takes the genie's hand and he leads her upstairs for wild, animalistic sex.
An hour passes, and the genie and sexy naked wife are laying in the ed, staring at the ceiling. She and he are both exhausted and breathing heavily due to the sex. The genie leans over and asks the young woman "You look younger than you're husband. How old are the two of you?"
"Well," she says "my husband is 35, but I'm only 24."
"Geez," says the genie "35 and 24 and you both still believe in genies?"
Both are dirty and that's why I like them!
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