[Scarymovie411]

Originally posted by Sam The Egg
continued from previous post:
Several months later, the boys were playing with Shaggy in the expansive front yard when a mid-sized car came screetching to a halt on the shoulder of the road. The boys looked up with a little apprehension. The area in which they lived was relatively crime-free, but they had heard so many horror stories and cautionary tales of strangers who abduct children that the car's abrupt halt worried them somewhat. Within seconds, though, a small, middle-aged man had erupted fom the front seat.

He ran forward a few steps, clearly excited, but then stopped short. It seemed that, at that moment, the middle-aged man himself remembered those same cautionary tales and didn't want to be inadvertantly cast as the villian.

"Um, hello, boys!" he began hesitantly. "Can I please speak to your mother or father?"

Felix ran up to the front door and summoned his nearest parent, which happened to be his father. At the sight of another adult, the middle aged man immediately relaxed. "Hello sir! My name is Hector Barquay! Does this magnificently shaggy dog belong to you!"

"Well, yes it does..."

"Outstanding! Sir, you may not be familiar with my organization, but I am a well-known promoter for SDANA, the Shaggy Dog Association of North America! And don't let the 'North American' fool you - I've seen, scouted, trained and judged grand champion Shaggy Dogs on six continents, and I can tell you, without a moment's hesitation, that this is, by far, the shaggiest dog in the world!"

Although they lacked Mr. Barquay's professional experience, his statement certainly seemed credible. Shaggy's shagginess had become the stuff of local legend, and the boys had a difficult time conceiving of a shaggier animal.

Mr. Barquay waved the two boys, their father, and Shaggy over to his car. After rummaging through the back seat for a few moments, he produced several pamphelets advertising SDANA, SDANA events, SDANA competitions, etc. He then produced a large hardback book entitled "The SDANA Book of Grand Champions".

"See here, boys. This book contains the winners of the World-Wide Shaggy Dog Contest for the last 85 years. Page through that and see if you can spot any dogs shaggier than yours."

Of course, the boys could not.

The family invited Mr. Barquay inside, where they held a long discussion about Shaggy's possible career as a prize-winning Shaggy Dog. Later that evening, when Mr. Barquay had gone, the boys' parents made some phone calls and internet searches based on the SDANA material that Mr. Barquay had left behind. They became satisfied that SDANA was indeed a legitimate organization and that Mr. Barqay was a member in good standing (his picture even appeared in three places on the SDANA website, www.SDANA.org).

Mr. Barquay returned to the family's house the very next day with the entry forms for the next World-Wide Shaggy Dog Contest, which was to be held in Los Angeles in six weeks. "Normally, the deadline for entry is two months before the contest," explained Mr. Barquay, "but I should be able to get Shaggy entered as an at-large contestant with no problem. Of course, for the honor of representing such a gloriously shaggy animal (and for 30% of any prize winnings) I will assume full responsibility for all entry fees and make all necessary transportation arrangements." This seemed fair to Shaggy's family; after all, if it hadn't been for Mr. Barquay, they wouldn't have even known about SDANA or the WWSDC.

Early on the morning of the WWSDC, Mr. Barquay pulled up in front of Shaggy's house with his official SDANA Contestant-Carrying Station Wagon, which was specially outfitted to transport four people and one shaggy dog in comfort. The two boys and their mother (who was able to get the day off work for such a special occasion) joined Mr. Barquay and Shaggy for the three-hour ride to Los Angeles and the WWSDC.

As they neared the city, they noticed several station wagons like the one they were in, but the dogs in the back, as shaggy as they were, were clearly no match for Shaggy's shagginess. Time after time they would watch the faces fall in station wagon after station wagon as their would-be competition realized the futility of entering a shagginess competition against Shaggy when their dogs, shaggy as they were, were simply not Shaggy-shaggy.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the convention center where the WWSDC was being held, pandemonium ensued. The other competitors were split into two groups: those who selfishly groaned at the extreme shagginess of Shaggy, and those who were overjoyed at the sight of such a paragon of shagginess. Person after person rushed up to the two boys, their mother, Mr. Barquay, and (of course) Shaggy wanting to express their envy and excitement at the sight of what was, assuredly, the shaggiest of all possible shaggy dogs. As the group approached the door to the hall, they were having a hard time keeping their feet due to the constant jostling of the mob of shaggy dog lovers all trying to catch a glimpse or even run their hand along that unimaginably shaggy mane.

When the word of Shaggy's arrival had spread, a full third of the competitors simply left the building, hoping to beat the traffic. Every last one of the rest, however, joined the feverish mob surrounding Shaggy.

Suddenly, a chant started to arise. "Hemp-hill! Hemp-hill! Hemp-hill!"

"What are they saying?" asked Felix, becoming frightened by the press of the crowd.

"Judge Hemphill is the reigning president of the SDANA!" said Mr. Barquay excitedly. "He's the supreme authority at this contest! The people are calling on him to skip the formal competition and declare Shaggy the winner outright!"

The cries grew louder, "Hemp-hill! HEMP-HILL! HEMP-HILL!" and then dropped suddenly quiet as the crowd began to hurredly part. As the people hurriedly stepped back, Lester caught sight of an older, distinguished-looking gentleman with an air of quiet grace. This was certainly Judge Hemphill.

Judge Hemphill approached the family and politely gestured for them to step aside. Shaggy looked up at him and cocked his head, unsure of what was going on. Judge Hemphill walked in a slow, deliberate circle around Shaggy, looking him up and down. He paused, held his chin thoughtfully for a moment, turned his head to the assembled crowd, and said...



"He aint that shaggy!"

Too much....overload overload overload...