[ShankS]

"Hello?"

"Hi, honey, this is Daddy .... Is your Mummy near the phone?"
"No,Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy, right now!"

"Uh, Okay, then ... here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run
upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mummy and Uncle Frank,
that Daddy's car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the
phone.

"Well,I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?" he asks.

"Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying out the
front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh my God!!!!! And what about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he
jumped out the back window into the swimming pool .....but he must have
forgot that last week, you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit
the
bottom of the swimming pool and now he's all real dead too."

***long pause***

***more pause****

Then Daddy says,
"Swimming pool???? Is this 555-7039?"




lol :D




A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house
yelling to his wife,

"Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery!
All £10,000,000...."Woooohooo!!!!

That's great sweetie" she replies.
"Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"

"Who cares", he replies,
"Just FuckOff!!!"


hahaha :D