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Oh thats great... for a porno film. Permission to speak my mind? Good. Thats the most shittest piece of bull I've ever read. Or maybe its just because I only got a preview to read. Who knows. I'm not saying that its bad but to my taste, it sucks. I'm sure some one would like it and If I could read the whole story I'm sure I could even like it but that preview, to me, sucked. Good luck though. I know how hard it can me to make a story. Just try to relax your mind and just let you fingers take over with the keyboard. Don't think about piece after piece just... "go with the flow". It can make it a lot easier. And if you make a mistake or something you don't like in it, just leave it till you finished. Then look it over for mistakes and such. Theres a first draft, a second draft and the final draft. Sometimes more. Good luck. Let me know when you finish.
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