[Stingy Jack]

I watched my dad die of cancer. Well, I wasn't actually there when the death occurred, but I basically watched the disease eat him alive.

When I found him dead, his eyes were open. I tried to close them, like you see in the movies, but they wouldn't stay closed. They kept sliding open, slowly. Like, if you stretch out a Stretch Armstrong, his limbs will slowly go back to their original shape? That's how it was. It was frustrating.

I got to deliver an atheist's eulogy at his funeral, because he believed what I do. It was great. I was able to show all of those religious folks that there can still be comfort in death even without the promise of heaven. I got lots of compliments on it, and everyone told me my dad would have been proud.