[Stingy Jack]

When I was a kid, we started up a nature club. This was supposed to be a very Thoreauvian club, with a complete fall back to nature. We chose to abandon all modern conveniences, including toilets and toilet paper.

So, one afternoon I took a shit in the bushes and decided to wipe my butt with some leaves. Suffice it to say, the leaves were dry and crumbled inside of my crack, sticking there. It was quite uncomfortable.

This was when I decided that such a club was bullshit.