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Old 07-20-2004, 12:23 PM
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Stingy Jack Stingy Jack is offline
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Location: Mississippi -- HELP!!
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:) Thanks for the compliment. I only teach one Creative Writing class a semester, but it is always the class I love the most. I love talking about writing. And helping you with your work is not a completely selfless act. It also helps me with my own work!

But, I'm not done talking to you about this yet. I finally figured out your opening line:

"Echoes of screams. An endless cacophony that reverberates in my mind every time I close my eyes. A tiny glimmer of hope dangled before my eyes like a carrot on a string."

You mean that despite the horrifying memory, the soldier still has hope. I think you should modify the last sentence in the above quote to make this more clear. Maybe something like: "Even now, despite what I've seen and heard, a tiny glimmer of hope ... " Something like that.

I want to talk about theme, or purpose, if I may. Do you have the time?
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AND LONG-LEGGED BEASTIES
AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT,
GOOD LORD DELIVER TO US!
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-- adapted by Stingy Jack


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