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As a I writer and a musician (ive acted some too) I crave feedback the way a junkie craves smack. This is great :)
I was really apprehensive about shifting perspective, but as soon as you listed examples, it felt better at least. i'm not 100% sure about that though. i really wanted to keep it in 1rst person. I know it has a great deal of inherent challenges, but that is partially why.
Do you think if i fleshed out the beginning more, i could achieve a better semblance of what you described, without sacrificing the first person perspective? Keeping it 1rst person (i think) keeps it more intimate.
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