[Stingy Jack]

My first car was a Ford Escort. Bought it spankin' new when I was making 900 a week selling satellite dishes to backwoods hicks. I had to quit that job, though. Too many wild dogs.

I gave that car to my sister, for her to take over the payments, when she got married. In exchange, I got a 1989 Dodge Shadow.

I drove that thing until the engine cracked.


Then I owned a 1999 Ford Explorer minivan. I was doing the family thing then, but it started quivering and stuff. I sold it to my best friend for 1000.00.

Two days later, the engine cracked in it on him.

I never saw him again.



Now I drive a 2001 Dodge Stratus. I totally ripped off the salesman. It was his third day on the job, and I walked onto the lot and said: "How much is this?"

He said: "How much are you looking to spend?"

I said: "About 900."

He said: "That's about the price of it. Someone JUST traded it in."

I said: "I'll take it." It had 24,000 miles on it and ran like a dream. Moon roof, CD player, new rims. It was sweet.

I sat back in the office and grinned for 12 minutes while I listened to the manager chew that salesman's ass.