[Stingy Jack]

Well, I started on the letter. Lemme know what you think.

"Dear New Bitch,

On behalf of myself and the rest of the parents in this community, we would like to say that your arrival here has been as pleasant as a plague. Your children run amok, like rats, squirrelling their way into our homes and taking inventory of things you might like to ask us for in the future. They don't clean up after themselves, run through the house like their asses are on fire, and teach our kids to talk like ignorant rednecks. If you're hoping one of us will feel sorry for your children to the point that we try to adopt them, you're sadly mistaken. You've already fucked them up too far beyond repair for anyone esle to want.

I understand that your husband left you (hell... wonder why?) and you are having a hard time getting on your feet. Here's a hint: Get a goddam job. The rest of us don't work our asses off to give you sodas and cigarettes. You have one child who is old enough to babysit while you are at work ... not that it really matters, since the rest of us babysit your hell-brood all damn day, anyway. Good thing you're too ugly for anyone to want to help you make more.

Sorry about the "ugly" comment. That was superficial. My apologies.

Sincerely,

A Pissed off Neighbor