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Old 09-22-2017, 05:21 PM
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Sculpt Sculpt is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA, IL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roiffalo View Post
The Shallows
(This review is for you, Baron!)

I actually really wanted to see this in theaters originally. I'm glad now I didn't.

I'll list the pros as I saw them: eyegasmic scenery, and a dead whale that was a prop and not CGI.

...That's it really.

The characters were forgettable and/or shark bait, which lend to the effects that were garbage. The movie had a tendency to hold our hand through out it. *our lead looking on her phone at a picture of mom in the hospital and wearing a bald cap? The audience will never figure that out as cancer, we need to establish that in a call with her dad later where his head is in a random split screen box hovering over the fucking ocean in a comical manner, meanwhile we can actually SEE him on her phone in her hand.

There was of course CGI. Again. Modern movie, it'd be naked without it. There were times it was decent, and then there were horrible CGI dolphins. *shudders*

Story wise it was... fine. And had a tolerable ending (despite the side I was rooting for losing), but it's going to really bother me that we never found out the name of the fucking beach and why her driver was so dodgy about revealing it.


Actually I take something back, there was one good actor/character:



Steven Seagull.
Ya, that's about what I thought of it. I wanted to see it at the theatre, but glad I didn't, only because it would have been a waste of extra money. It was ok. There were some suspenseful parts, but not enough. Thought the ending was unrealistic, where the rest of the film was tacitly realistic.
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