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The Holiday's Are Coming
What Better Time Of Year
I'll Steal Somebody else's poem
An Put It Over Here

'twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the forum,
The members were bickering,
As is the decorum.

Pictures were posted
all over the place
of MD's wee head
Adorned with Kpro's wee face

Some members were nestled
all snug in their beds,
With visions of monsters
with multiple heads.

And Rayne in her goth gear
and me in my sweater
sat down to write poems
- the longer the better.

When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter
I shit in my pants
there was a great splatter!

away through the window
went my head with a crash
I tore open my veins
on a long piece of glass

the moon on the breast
of the newfallen snow
gave the luster of red
from my bleeding, below

when what to my bloodshot
eyes should appear,
but a miniature coffin
and 8 zombie reindeer

there's a creepy old driver
with one hand on his dick
it was a fake vampire
some goth wannabe prick.

more vapid than beagles
his corsette off it came
and he farted and stuttered
and called them by name

Now, Fulchi!, Now Miner,
Now, Soavi! and Argento!
On, Bava!, On,Raimi!
On,Chrononberg and Romero!

From the tips of their toes
To the top of the head
Slice away, Dice away
Make them all dead !

As dry heaves as before
the main vomit fly
When they meet with a chicken bone
mount to the sky.

So up on the housetop
the zombie deer flew
with a coffin full of bodyparts
and that goth poser too

and then in a twinkling
i heard on the roof
the sounds of the zombies
and that 'dressed in black' goof.

As i drew in my head
the glass cutting my feet
down the chimney he came
after beating his meat

he all dressed in retro
from some ancient year
from his doc martin boots
to his fake vampire gear

a pair of glass fangs
he had put in his mouth
he was over compensating
for what he was lacking, down south

His eyes were lacklustre
his pockmarks were many,
he looked haggard and tired,
From not 'getting any'

His narrow little mouth
was drawn up in a sneer
"I'm here for your blood"
I said "how 'bout a beer'?"

His nails were all pointy
and encrusted with grime
he looked like a bum
who had not a dime

A thin ugly pale face
and long stringy black hair
a tattered old cape
and stained underwear

he was sallow and ill
a right pathetic young vamp
i laughed when i saw him,
he looked like a tramp.

when he raised up his cape
and reared back his head
i immediately knew
i had nothing to dread

he looked a bit nervous
but still tried to attack
he got one step closer
before i kicked his nut-sack

he puked and he retched
some escaping his nose
he collapsed into the fireplace
and up the chimney he rose

he stumbled to his coffin
leaving barf in his path
the zombie deer caught a look
and started to laugh

but i heard him exclaim
as his 'sleigh' became free
"Merry Christmas you fucker"
and crashed into a tree.

happy holidays kids !