Rats On A Boat
 

So, My production company: Archer Inc. has signed on to do the sequel for Snakes on a Plane... Its entitled: RATS ON A BOAT. It stares Jean Claude Van Damme and Eva Longoria. Here is the script and a rough draft of the poster below :D

Lionel Joseph - played by Jeffery Wright, a pot-smoking Rastafarian (gotta play the stereotypes in B-movies) is a lab assistant for major pharmaceutical company that’s testing their new performance enhancing steroid on rats. Lionel got this sweet job b/c his father is the consulate. The drug company sends Lionel on a commercial cruse ship: The S.S. Kill People, w/ a sample of their experiment. The company’s intent is to sell their drug to major US athletes. Of course Lionel and his friends “toke up” and the THC in the marijuana has a violent reaction w/ the drugs the rats have been taking. Needless to say the rats quadruple in size and begin attacking the passengers. However, all is not lost!!! DEA Agent, Patrick Archer – played by Jean Claude Van Damme, is on board. He quickly organizes the crew and passengers to mount a strike against the killer mutant rats. In the pursuing scenes many a rat is privy to mid-air roundhouse kicks, gratuidous splits and bare-ass shots from Van Damme. Eva Longoria plays Rita Lopez, Van Damme’s partner that subsequently gets her throat torn out by a giant blood thirsty rat. Jean Claude holds her in his arms as she passes, in a gut wrenching scene that is pure drama. The final scene showcases a martial arts fight to the death w/ Van Damme and the largest gnarliest rat. The rat seems to have Jean Claude beat when, as it dives on him he picks up a broken metal pipe and the rat, to everyone’s surprise impales himself on it. Van Damme holds the pipe up as the rat slowly slides down it, the boat’s crew salutes in the back ground as the new LL Cool J track, “Bust the Rats” plays.

http://www.omgpix.com/uploads/9f7baa9c90.jpg

come on people, wheres the love!? i give and i give...

What is this thread actually about?

RATS ON A BOAT, MAN! geez, do i have to force feed this stuff to you!? lighten up people. have some fun! this is the general forom isn't it?

Sorry.

I guess i´m just not in a crazy funny mood today..

look, its a slow day at work, i haven't fired anybody yet (kidding) i'm bored, its friday (where i am), going to see snakes on a plane tonight at a drive-in... i'm just in giddy dopey mood.

Ahem. I think I'll just go ahead and give myself an award.

http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/footinmouthtrophy.jpg

No, because my dad has lung cancer.

But thanks.

LOL and the thing is, if you actually made a movie with this scenario, it would probably be a big hit with the 12-18 crowd and there would be a whole bunch of noobs joining with names like Ratty1 and Rastarat and VDrat....that stands for VAN DAMME, not VENEREAL DISEASE....perverts. Okay, that noob didn't last long...
And the sad thing is, I'd probably watch it.:p

i hate it when poeple do that. its like to purposefully make you feel like shit. there was no way he could have known.

either way, sry to hear about your dad.