News Flash
 

I have something very important to tell you all.

It all started last week Friday. I got off of work and went out with all my friends. We were all having a good time at this party, lots of good looking girls and everything. Time came and went and eventually I passed out. When I awoke Saturday morning, my head was pounding and my wrists were aching. I tried getting up, but to my surprise, I was handcuffed, ass naked to the bed. I undid the safety release, put my clothes on and walked around the house. No one was there, so I got the fuck out of there.

I stopped at the doctor a few days later because I've been throwing up the past few days. Particularly early in the morning. Yes, that's right. I too am pregnant. I have such mixed feelings, but you know, I just have a feeling it's all going to work out.














































Oh yeah, and I guess finding out that I had the organs to be humanly able to produce a child is pretty big news too.

Congratulations. I look forward to seeing pictures of you shitting out a crap-covered baby.

Aren't all babies covered with some form of shit on them?

wait...... i thought you were male... huh? jeez

It's quite a paradox, isn't it?

I'm speaking in terms of human feces. So no, babies aren't covered in feces when they come out.

...although that shit would be pretty funny to see... maybe once.

ehhhh, no offense, but i'll believe you when i see proof, and i don't want to see the proof, haha.

damnit, Evis, I was gonna do a thread like this!


Only later, when there hadn't just been another "I got knockedzorz!" thread. Oh well

I too was going to wait. But I never come on here daily like I used to...so I would've been too late and their would've been a spoof thread already. I stole yo thunda nigga'.

OK, so little Johnny is riding along with his dad in dad's pickup truck when they see 2 dogs fucking on the side of the road. Little Johnny asks daddy, "what are those doggies doing?" Daddy, a little embarrassed replies "they're making puppies, son."
Later that night, little Johnny walks into mommy and daddy's room where they just happen to be making love. Little Johhny asks quite innocently, "daddy, what are you doing?" Daddy, quite embarrassed this time, replies "ah, we're making a baby, son." Little Johnny says "well, flip her over daddy, I want a puppy!"