Horror.com Forums - Talk about horror.

Horror.com Forums - Talk about horror. (https://www.horror.com/forum/index.php)
-   Horror.com General Forum (https://www.horror.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   How do you take yours??...... (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13099)

ShankS 01-13-2005 10:50 AM

How do you take yours??......
 
How to shower like a Woman:

· Get in shower.
· Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
· Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
· Wash hair again to make sure it's clean.
· Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
· Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, until red.
· Wash entire rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.
· Shave armpits and legs.
· Turn off shower.
· Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exitmould.
· Get out of shower.
· Dry with towel the size of a small country.
· Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
· Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.
· Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
· If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.

__________________________________________________

How to shower like a Man:

· Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed.
· Leave in a pile.
· Walk naked to the bathroom.
· If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound.
· Look at manly physique in mirror.
· Admire size of knob and scratch your bum.
· Get in the shower.
· Wash your face.
· Wash your armpits.
· Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
· Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
· Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
· Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
· Shampoo hair.
· Make shampoo mohawk.
· Pee.
· Rinse off and get out of shower.
· Partially dry-off.
· Fail to notice water on floor.
· Admire knob size in mirror again.
· Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
· Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
· If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.
· Throw wet towel on bed.

urgeok 01-13-2005 10:52 AM

well ...


there's really not a whole hell of a lot to add to that is there..

Death By Jell-O 01-13-2005 11:43 AM

http://j-walkblog.com/blog/images1/zebraend.jpg

Vodstok 01-13-2005 11:45 AM

That is feindishly insightful. :D

(makes mental note, must start shaking knob at wife while making woo-woo sounds)

Death By Jell-O 01-13-2005 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vodstok
That is feindishly insightful. :D

(makes mental note, must start shaking knob at wife while making woo-woo sounds)

In doing so, be prepared for the imminent laughter and snide remarks about cold water.......

urgeok 01-13-2005 11:59 AM

"shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound"



thats what my kid does

ShankS 01-13-2005 12:07 PM

your kid is rude.... teach him some manners. lol


or does he follow in daddies influencing footsteps??

urgeok 01-13-2005 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShankS
your kid is rude.... teach him some manners. lol


or does he follow in daddies influencing footsteps??

no, i dont wave it going woo woo ..

i sneak up behind her and whack her with it.

ShankS 01-13-2005 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by urgeok
no, i dont wave it going woo woo ..

i sneak up behind her and whack her with it.


and there she was thinking the neighbours dog was nosing her ass :D

urgeok 01-13-2005 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ShankS
and there she was thinking the neighbours dog was nosing her ass :D


now i feel like i need a shower .. you dirty bugger :D


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:00 PM.