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My Halloween 3 Script SAMPLE! NEEDS WORK, GIVE INPUT PLEASE, AND BE BRUTAL !!!
Not official or even considered for production, just my story I hope somehow,someway finds it's place in the Story! I just noticed my SHERIFF has 2 R's (SHERRIFF).Not changing it,It's how we talk around these here parts!:D I Voted for the GIVE UP option in the POLL,so you know the other VOTE wasn't myself!:D I used the SCENE HEADINGS and some CHARACTER NAMES such as YOUNG MAN and HOT BLONDE,or HORNY GUY,and HORNY GIRL to also describe the scene without that much of my own input, for you to imagine it yourself.Just get past a little of the goofy stuff and give it a chance. TITLE: HALLOWEEN 3 (MY BROTHERS KEEPER) = ? WRITTEN BY: D.A. Bowsher SCENE #1: OPENING FADE IN: BLACK SCREEN with BOLD WHITE LETTERING statement: When The Pale Horse Comes Calling, And Grows Near. Rest Assured In Knowing That We Are Almost Home. Break the screen with the SOUND of SHATTERING GLASS, with the letters cracked and busted,they begin flying in broken pieces towards the screen, as they fill with BLOOD and begin turning from WHITE, to RED with the words PALE HORSE coming straight at the screen. which leaves just the BLACK SCREEN empty. CUT TO: (INT/EXT.) HADDONFIELD - ISOLATED CABIN - NIGHT: Immediately from the BLACK SCREEN, the silence is broken with a LOUD SCREAM from LAURIE STRODE, as it FLASHES a scene of HER, struggling and being held down by a young MICHAEL MYERS inside the CABIN from the PREVIOUS MOVIE. This is followed by another black screen with CREDITS that also flies towards the screen. Quickly followed by a FLASH of MICHAEL in all his glory stabbing DR. LOOMIS to death. Followed by more CREDITS. Then right after the CREDITS. You HEAR a GUN SHOT, that hits MICHAEL as he then falls and is IMPALED on some FARMING EQUIPMENT inside the CABIN. Run more CREDITS. Following immediately after the CREDITS, It shows LAURIE dropping to her knees, wearing MICHAELS MASK just outside the CABIN in the HELICOPTERS SEARCHLIGHT, she slowly pulls the MASK OFF, and falls over to her side, fainting. The SCREEN FADES TO BLACK as if we pass out with her, as some DEPUTIES in SLOW MOTION begin running towards her, with NO SOUND, accept almost a hollow wind tunnel noise/ helicopter echoing over the SCENE FADING. FADE OUT: FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: SUPERIMPOSE TITLE, Out of the TITLE SCREEN, you begin hearing some muffled music and a MUSHY SOUND as a YOUNG attractive MORTICIAN, named BECKY is hard at work in the EXAMINING LIGHT, on a DECEASED MAN removing his organs and weighing them, as she is also listening to an iPod. Suddenly the DOUBLE DOORS entering the room are SLAMMED OPEN, by a GURNEY and two EMT's following delivering a BODY that is zipped up in a BODY BAG on that GURNEY. BECKY appearing overworked, SLAMS her SCALPEL down, removes her EARBUDS/HEADPHONES. BECKY Really, another one! It's the fifth one today. When are you guys, going to stop? You two also need to learn how to knock. EMT1, a slightly cocky fit guy, barks back at BECKY. EMT1 Damn Becky! Don’t be so God damn pissy. We're just doing our job. You know that! I'm going to have to start calling you Bitchy Becky. BECKY picks up her SCALPEL, points it at the EMT's as she gets back to her dissection. BECKY Well you know what! You two could quit anytime. The shit wouldn't bother me, one bit! EMT2 a smaller computer nerd type, replies EMT2 It's not our fault! It's that bastard, Michael Myers! His sorry ass has been chopping up the whole damn town. Kind of like you! BECKY Yeah I know! I've heard, trust me! Who's in the bag? EMT1 Annie Brackett! BECKY Oh my God! Poor Sherriff Brackett! Suddenly their conversation is interrupted from a frantic RADIO CALL, through a RADIO attached to EMT1. UNKNOWN DEPUTY (V.O.) We got the son of a bitch! We got him! He's fucking dead! We need someone to respond and retrieve the assholes body! We are on interstate 77 just past the Roberts farm at an abandoned cabin, You'll see all the lights from the police cars! EMT2, frustrated in hoping that this was their last run. EMT2 Come on! Let the other guys take this one. We should be clocking out, right now. EMT1 ignoring his partners disapproval! EMT1 There is nothing wrong with a little overtime. Now is there? EMT2 (frustrated) God damn it! BECKY (amused, smug) Hah! Hah! EMT1 (radio response) This is unit 31. We are dropping off a body, as we speak. Give us about twenty minutes and we'll be there. UNKNOWN DEPUTY (V.O.) (radio) Copy that! Since you guys are already at the morgue, go ahead and let Becky know, that she has two more heading her way. EMT1 (rubbing it in) Looks like Bitchy Becky is getting two more, to add to her collection! EMT1 arrogantly EXITS the ROOM, followed by EMT2 WAVING bye TO BECKY, as she excuses the two, by putting in her EARBUDS, and STICKING OUT her TONGUE in a childish manner, as she CONTINUES with her DISSECTION. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - INTERSTATE - THUNDERSTORM - NIGHT: CAMERA STATIONARY and FOCUSED, looking down the interstate from the side of the road, as an AMBULANCE approaches, speeding with its LIGHTS FLASHING and SIRENS SOUNDING. With just the sound of the rain coming down and the ambulance as it approaches, knifing through the rain, and zooming past and out of scene. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - ISOLATED CABIN - RAIN DYING DOWN - NIGHT: HELICOPTER P.O.V. CIRCLING showing the crime scene with POLICE CARS, an AMBULANCE, that is surrounding the CABIN that is now in clean up mode, It concludes as another AMBULANCE pulls up to the scene, with EMT1 and EMT2 exiting the vehicle. CUT TO: :confused: |
TRACKING SHOT of the two EMT's pushing a GURNEY, with a BODY BAG laid out, already unzipped on top of it. The rain stops as they are approaching SHERRIFF BRACKETT, who is standing in the middle of the scene, overseeing the action. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Are you the two here for Michael? EMT2 Yes sir! Sorry to hear about Annie! SHERRIFF BRACKETT We all got to go sometime, that's life I guess. I can't curl in a ball and die. Now can I? EMT1 Where's Michaels body? Sir! SHERRIFF BRACKETT He's in the cabin. We already got Loomis's body out. I got Michael's shit back to him. Trust me! You wouldn't want to see the ugly bastards face. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - ISOLATED CABIN - NIGHT: With SHERRIFF BRACKETTS statement it goes to a flashback of him standing over MICHAEL's impaled body. SHERRIFF BRACKETT leans down and places the MASK on Michaels head, and begins emotionally stabbing him! SHERRIFF BRACKETT You took my Annie you son of a Bitch! CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - ISOLATED CABIN - RAIN STOPPED - NIGHT: It returns outside with SHERRIFF BRACKETT and the EMT's. SHERRIFF BRACKETT The son of a bitch is in there! Now get to it. If you need some help with him, just let somebody know. Alright? The EMT's start towards the cabin and walk out of view. EMT1 (O.S.) Will do, Sherriff! SHERRIFF BRACKETTS P.O.V. As he looks in the back of another ambulance, with the sound of the GURNEY WHEELS being pushed further away. He sees LAURIE inside, who appears still unconscious. TWO different EMT's shut the back door, and rush towards the cab of the vehicle. SHERRIFF BRACKETT HEY, YOU TWO! As he shouts, he catches the EMT's attention, they turn their heads! SHERRIFF BRACKETT You're taking her to the psychiatric hospital, aren't you? EMT3 That's what we were told. Sir! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Alright, Thank You two! I was just checking. SHERRIFF BRACKETT turns away. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I really need to talk to that girl! CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - ISOLATED CABIN - RAIN STOPPED - NIGHT: Begins showing a CLOSE UP of MICHAEL's MASK, as he lays all bloody and resting lifeless, as the shot PANS OUT slowly revealing MICHAEL's body, IMPALED on the SPIKES, with his BUTCHER KNIFE, now stuck in his upper left leg. EMT1 and EMT2 enter, pushing the GURNEY, and BODY BAG. They position themselves over MICHAEL, situating their SANITATION GLOVES on their hands. EMT2 Now! How the hell, are we going to get his big ass off those, and onto that? EMT1 How do you think? Uh huh! That's right big boy. Now! Use those balls you were given, and let's get this done. Oorah! The two EMT's begin prying MICHAEL's body from the SPIKES, with a gory mushy SOUND of the spikes as they exit his body. EMT2 begins GRUNTING as he is struggling lifting the body onto the GURNEY. They flop MICHAEL on the GURNEY, which cause EMT2 to bump his head, knocking off his HAT, which falls to the floor between the GURNEY WHEELS. He flops to his knees to grab the HAT, he retrieves the HAT and places it on his head. Which is suddenly, appeared to be grabbed by MICHAEL's hand. EMT2 jumps up, startled ripping his hat from his head. Where he sees EMT1, has played a joke, who is now holding MICHAEL's arm! EMT1 (cont'd) Wooooo! It's the Boogey Man. Oh SHIT man! You should have seen your face. It was PRICELESS! EMT2 then swats EMT1 with his hat, playfully. EMT2 What a dickhead! You're an asshole, that's what you are! EMT2 begins smiling realizing it was a joke, SHERRIFF BRACKETT then enters quickly. SHERRIFF BRACKETT What was that commotion all about? Is everything alright in here? EMT2 glares at EMT1, as he stands over MICHAEL. EMT2 Yeah! I'm just a little jumpy, That's all! EMT2 begins zipping up the BODY BAG, where he begins struggling, as the zipper gets stuck, just below MICHAEL's chin. Where it refuses to go any further! EMT2 (cont'd) This damn thing is stuck. I can't get it. I guess that's as far as it's going to go. EMT1 You know? That knife in his leg, it kind of makes old MIKIE, look like he has a stiffy under there! EMT2 Yeah! It does! You think we should have taken it out? EMT1 Naaah! I think Becky might like it! EMT2 UH HUH! I'm sure she will. EMT1 Hey! You know what? I do want to see what he looks like, under that thing. EMT1 begins reaching for MICHAEL's MASK. Which SHERRIFF BRACKETT immediately puts a stop to, grabbing EMT1's arm. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Now stop that, shit! You two need to stop goofing off, Right now! And start taking some pride in your work, and get his ass to the morgue. If it was up to me, I would burn the son of a bitch. But it's not. EMT1 is shocked at the SHERRIFF's seriousness. EMT1 Alright Sherriff. Sorry! The EMT's push Michael's body out of the cabin. SHERRIFF BRACKETT And oh yeah! If so much as a hair, on that mask, is out of place boys! Your asses are mine! FADE OUT: :confused: |
SCENE #2: TRIP TO THE MORGUE FADE IN: (INT.) AMBULANCE - NIGHT - INTERSTATE - BEGINS STORMING: P.O.V. over MICHAEL's body as he lays in the BODY BAG, that's zipped just below his chin, as he rocks back and forth, from the movement of the AMBULANCE. Suddenly lightning flashes, lightning up his face. Which is quickly followed by a LOUD CLAP of THUNDER and then the SOUND of HEAVY RAIN beginning to come down. The CAMERA PANS to the front of the ambulance, which seems to be an older ambulance with the back wide open to the driver (EMT1) and passenger (EMT2). EMT1 FLIPS on the WIPERS, SQUINTS and LEANS FORWARD as he looks out the window, as lightning strikes again. EMT1 Guess it was too good to last, HUH? The storm being over and all? EMT2 Yeah! Watching the news earlier. It said, that it's supposed to be off and on like this, for the next couple of days. EMT2 looks over his shoulder and back at MICHAEL. EMT2 (cont'd) Man he's freaking me out. I got to zip up, that bag! EMT2 gets out of his seat and approaches MICHAEL's body. While EMT1, glances back. EMT1 I know what you're going back there to play with, you homo! What are you scared? He isn't going anywhere. EMT2 Yeah! But isn't he supposed to be superhuman, or something like that. EMT1 Those are just stories. He's just like you and me. He's as dead, as dead can be. Where he's at there is noooo coming back! EMT2 begins struggling with the zipper. EMT2 Well, that doesn't change a thing! I'm still zipping the freak up. EMT1 What? You don't want to give BECKY a scare? EMT2 I'm sure, she'll be frightened enough, with all the bodies, that he already has piled up down there. As EMT2 just finishes his statement, his finger slips off the zipper as he was still struggling, causing him a small cut. EMT2 Damn it! P.O.V. from inside the BODY BAG. EMT2 gets back to the zipper grunting frustrated, over top of MICHAEL. The zipper releases, as the screen FADES TO BLACK, along with the bag closing. FADE OUT: FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: P.O.V. from inside a BODY BAG. The scene is revealed as BECKY unzips the BAG, and she leans over and peers in, as you HEAR the MUSIC through her iPod, as her EARBUDS are draped around her neck. BECKY Awwwww! You're up next! BECKY then leans out of P.O.V. of the unknown subject. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - THUNDERSTORM - NIGHT: P.O.V. towards the front of the morgue, as Michael's body arrives in the ambulance. As the two EMT's jump out, covering their heads with their jackets. They rush to the back of the ambulance, extracting Michael and rush the body up the ramp and into the building. CUT TO: SCENE #3: MICHAEL'S ARRIVAL (INT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - HALLWAY - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: EMT1 enters the main entrance pushing the gurney, as EMT2 holds the door open for him. CLOSE UP - TRACKING SHOT 4 or 5 seconds, showing the front wheel of the GURNEY as it is spinning down the hall, with the water beading off and onto the floor. Then the exact same shot of MICHAEL's MASK from the side as it vibrates from the ride. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: P.O.V. of the DOUBLE DOOR entrance as they abruptly get slammed open with the GURNEY, followed by the EMT's. This startles BECKY! BECKY Oh GOD! What did I say about knocking? Shit! BECKY then puts her SCALPEL down, from a NUDE ANNIE BRACKETT, that she just began working on, as she then stands to her feet. EMT1 Satan has arrived! BECKY So that's him? Huh! That's the dickhead responsible for all this work I've had all God damn day? EMT2 That's him! Where do you want him? BECKY Just, put him over there. That's fine! Is that a banana in his pocket? The EMT's turn to exit the room. EMT1 NO it's a KNIFE! Well guess we'll see you tomorrow. Have fun! EMT1 then begins waving his arms and twiddling his fingers in a teasing manner. EMT1 (cont'd) Woooo, Wooooo, Woooooo! EMT1 then exits the room behind EMT2, who is laughing. BECKY shouts playfully. BECKY Get out of here, you goofballs. I meant to say NO THANK YOU, YOU CAN TAKE HIM BACK NOW! BECKY glances at MICHAEL's body. EMT1 plops his head back through the DOUBLE DOORS suddenly. EMT1 Woooooo, Woooooo! EMT1 immediately plops back out, as his line fades down the hall with him. BECKY looks down shaking her head, snickering as she approaches MICHAEL's BODY BAG, she pats it two times with her right hand. BECKY Well, I got news for you big guy. She's my last victim of the night. You're just going to have to rot, A llliiiiiittle bit longer. BECKY returns to her chair at the autopsy table, placing her EARBUDS back in her ears, as she returns to work on ANNIE's BODY under the examining light, and begins humming to the music. The CAMERA then starts ZOOMING in on MICHAEL's BAG, behind BECKY, who is in the examining light to the right of the screen, as she becomes blurry and is eventually ZOOMED OUT OF THE SHOT. CUT TO: Begins with the same shot of the BODY BAG that was ZOOMED IN and then slowly begins ZOOMING OUT. Showing that BECKY is gone and that ANNIE's BODY is all sewed up. (as if some time has passed) You then HEAR BECKY'S heels, clicking as she walks. (never showing her) Suddenly the light is switched off, with the sound of a click, then a BZZZZZ as the light flickers out. CUT TO: :confused: |
(INT.) HADDONFIELD MORGUE - HALLWAY - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: BECKY exits the autopsy room, and out into the darkened hallway. With an umbrella in her left hand, all bundled up and ready to go, with her EARBUDS still in, as she continues humming to the music. BECKY begins down the hall with the SOUND of her HEELS clicking and the muffled music from her iPod. Halfway down the hall suddenly a SHADOWY FIGURE appears behind her, coming from a side room, which slowly lurks towards her, as she continues oblivious to him. BECKY notices a room with its lights left on. SHE STOPS, as the FIGURE continues. BECKY Now, who left these on? ASSHOLES! BECKY cracks the door, reaches in and turns out the light, as the FIGURE draws closer. Just as she exhales, the FIGURE quickly wraps his arms around BECKY, lifts her up and puts her right back down. BECKY SCREAMS turns around to see her BOYFRIEND, then playfully slaps his chest. BECKY (cont'd) YOU BASTARD! BOYFRIEND Long night? Sweetie! BECKY's BOYFRIEND leans in and gives her a kiss. BECKY Yeah! You have no idea, Sweeeeetie! They lovingly walk down the hall, again with her HEELS echoing loudly. BECKY opens her UMBRELLA, as her BOYFRIEND holds the door, as they exit out into the rain. FADE OUT: :confused: |
Don't want to give to much of it away
But in the next scene it gets a whole lot more interesting, and into the beef of the main story, and the twist I added that has'nt been done before, or probably even thought of. It is a risk, ecspecially for true fans of the series!
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Never wrote a script before, have just watched way too many movies, and if there is such a thing of over entertainment in one's life, that is definetely my problem, so be brutally honest of what you think so far. No problem with that what so ever, The script in my opinion can use some technical improvements, and dialogue, but the complete story and what I personally know it will make the audience feel or fans is perfect !!!
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Didn't want to do it but here you go, Alittle more !!! this is where the real criticism starts from real fans !!! SCENE #4: A NEW PSYCHOPATH FADE IN: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - FRONT - FALL DAY - DAMP GROUND - OVERCAST SKIES: P.O.V. from the middle of the street, looking upon a poverty stricken, worn down two story residence. In a quite, but rough looking neighborhood. The CAMERA then begins STEDILY approaching the house through an opened chain link fence, past an unraked yard and then approaches an open basement window, as some random show begins to play on a TV from inside. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - BASEMENT - DAY: P.O.V. in the middle of a darkened basement with the stairs set to the left of the screen. You hear someone unlatching the door at the top of the steps. A large MAN named JACOB LOGAN, who has MICHAEL's build and wearing an identical jumpsuit to MICHAEL's, begins down the stairs, first few steps. Before showing the man's upper body, or face. The CAMERA begins slowly CIRCLING the room to the RIGHT, revealing first, a small desk with 3 or 4 mannequins heads on top of it, with MASKS identical to MICHAEL's, then an old ROCKING CHAIR, and then an old fuzzy TV, that is now showing a NEWS REPORT, that's interrupted the show that was on. (The report starts once the CAMERA starts PAN.) NEWS REPORTER We interrupt this program to bring you this news alert, to inform you that another body has just been found. Believed to be the results of the tragic events that transpired yesterday, involving former local resident Michael Myers. Raising the numerous body count tragically by one more. With the one small bright spot from the story. That being, the survival of local girl Laurie Strode. Who is said to be resting comfortably at a local psychiatric hospital, still reported to be suffering from symptoms of a concussion. If we receive any more breaking news, we will keep you up to date. The CAMERA continues circling as the REPORT plays, showing just beside the TV, a wall covered in NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS related to MICHAEL and his many massacres. After the CAMERA stops on the clippings. It moves to a SHOT behind JACOB, as he watches the end of the NEWS REPORT, and when it ends. He seems angry and clicks off the TV and flings it off the stand that it was on. He then approaches the wall with the clippings, and quickly slaps a new one up, with a picture of LAURIE, with the title, LOCAL GIRL SURVIVES GRIZZLY SCENE. You then HEAR the SOUND of a RAT as the CAMERA then PANS DOWN, revealing a large RAT AT JACOB's feet, right next to a BOX of RAT POISON PELLETS. Suddenly JACOB snatches the RAT up and takes it out of scene as the CAMERA STAYS PUT at his feet. You begin HEARING the RAT SQUEAL and then a flesh ripping SOUND that ends the squealing. The RAT's HEAD and now HEADLESS BODY hits the floor. It then returns to a SHOT of the clippings, as JACOB takes his strong bloody hand and circles the picture of LAURIE with BLOOD. JACOB bends down and picks up the RAT POISON. He begins shaking the BOX and slowly walking towards the MASKS. He pours out the last few PELLETS and tosses the empty BOX aside. He then quickly snatches a MASK from one of the mannequins, and begins lumbering up the stairs, just showing his back as he slams the door. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - DAY: JACOB forcibly latches the BASEMENT DOOR shut with a latch and a PAD LOCK, still seeming angry. TRACKING SHOT behind JAKE of just his RIGHT ARM with the MASK in his hand, being squeezed as he approaches the kitchen. Which shows an older woman, MICHELLE LOGAN who is digging through the cupboard. P.O.V. from inside the cupboard as she continues shuffling through it, as JACOB is approaching OUT OF FOCUS behind her. He reaches out his left ARM, over a table that's in between them. CLOSE UP shot of a CUP of COFFEE on the table, as JACOB then plops the RAT POISON PELLETS into the CUP. It then immediately returns to the SHOT behind JACOBS ARM with the MASK in his hand as he STANDS there silently. MICHELLE turns around with some sugar and sits at the table, pouring the sugar in her COFFEE. MICHELLE Do you want some coffee? She continues as if he nodded the answer. MICHELLE (cont'd) You don't. Alright! She glances at the MASK in his hand. MICHELLE (cont'd) What are you doing, with that stupid old mask? She pauses but doesn't indicate that he ever answered, like he ignored the question. MICHELLE (cont'd) Do you know? That I heard on the news this morning that he's dead! Finally, Good riddance! MICHELLE takes her first drink of COFFEE and then adds more sugar, as she makes a funny face. MICHELLE (cont'd) What have you been up to, in that basement of yours? You know! Your dear old mama doesn’t like it! When you keep secrets from her. HMMMM? MICHELLE takes a big drink of COFFEE and makes another bitter face. JACOB then moves closer giving NO ANSWER. He then leans in and kisses MICHELLE's forehead. (never showing his face) He backs away, and ominously, slowly begins pulling the MASK towards his face and puts it on. (now you can show his face.) Dumbfounded and confused MICHELLE gets up as JACOB begins walking towards the back door. She flings the COFFEE in the sink, and places her hand on JAKES shoulder. MICHELLE (cont'd) What are you doing? You need to stop! Right NOW! JACOB immediately turns around as she places her hand on his shoulder, and begins mercilessly beating her. As MICHELLE lays on the floor bloodied and beaten, clinging to consciousness, JAKE grabs a BUTCHER KNIFE from a KNIFE RACK on the counter and walks out the BACK DOOR, leaving it open behind him. MICHELLE pulls herself together as much as she can, and begins crawling towards the back door. MICHELLE (cont'd) NO! Jacob, NO! Don't you do this! She crawls out the back door just enough to be visible to the neighboring yards. JACOB just continues with MICHAEL's mannerisms, slowly walking away. P.O.V. out the back door, as MICHELLE curls in the fetal position holding her stomach, she then passes out. As JAKE walks out the back gate, and to the left. The shot remains on MICHELLE as she lies still on the ground, as a time lapse happens, turning from day to night, as there is only movement in the BACKGROUND. (this happens in about 5/6 seconds.) CUT TO: :confused: |
SCENE #5: HE'S WATCHING (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - BACK - FALL NIGHT - DAMP GROUND - OVERCAST SKYS: TRACKING SHOT over a TEENAGE GIRLS left shoulder in an alley that follows behind her, as she is playing with her PHONE. She approaches the LOGAN RESIDENCE on the left side of the alley. She enters the NEIGHBORING yard to head into her own HOME, with the ground still very sloshy from all the rain. As she approaches the back door, the TEENAGE GIRL glances to her RIGHT, and she sees MICHELLE's BODY lying motionless, just outside the back door. She gasps! TEENAGE GIRL Oh my GOD! Miss Logan! Panicked, the TEENAGE GIRL runs and jumps the fence and rushes over to MICHELLE on the ground. She rolls over MICHELLE's body, revealing she is alive, barely. MICHELLE weakened, short of breath. MICHELLE They're Brothers! TEENAGE GIRL What? MICHELLE I've been poisoned! Help me! TEENAGE GIRL Alright Miss Logan, just relax. I'll call 911! The TEENAGE GIRL stands to her feet, and begins dialing on her phone. As the CAMERA then PANS LEFT and begins to RISE UP high above the scene, as the screen begins FADING to BLACK. The TEENAGE GIRL begins improvising a few lines into her phone frantically (O.S.). Which also fades with the shot. FADE OUT: FADE IN: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - FRONT - FALL NIGHT - WINDY - BEGINS TO RAIN: AN AMBULANCE is parked in the middle of the street, as the TEENAGE GIRL is standing with her family, and wrapped in her FATHER's arms. With MICHELLE on a GURNEY being pushed out the front gate, with an OXYGEN MASK on. P.O.V. inside a MASK, lurking across the street, watching the scene unfolding, as it THUNDERS and begins to RAIN. Before being loaded in the AMBULANCE, MICHELLE weakened looks and see JACOB lurking across the street in the MASK, as if he is MICHAEL. The EMT's shut the doors and the screen goes black. FADE OUT: :confused: |
Alright that's enough. I'll leave you in suspense, I guess!
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I am only halfway through. The script is pretty good. I could picture the scenes happening in my mind, which I guess is a good thing. Becky needs more of an introduction/character development, ala Laurie Strode. I don't, at this point, think she could take down Myers.
I like "re-capping" what happened in previous movies but I think the films are so far apart in release dates your return on doing that is somewhat diminished. Maybe just make this a story that could possibly have happened between II and IV? Where is the Pale Horse quote from? The reason I ask is sometimes films give the author. |
The PALE HORSE QUOTE i believe is from me. It fits with my story and is resolved in the end, should I PUT, WE ARE ALMOST HOME or YOU ARE ALMOST HOME, for the last line of it? I had YOU at first, but changed it. BECKY don't last long sorry for the spoiler. But I believe I gave enough for the audience to care a little when she dies. No one can take DOWN MICHAEL. ;) LAURIE, SHERRIFF BRACKETT and a new character JAKE MYERS LOGAN are my main focus in this story and a CONFLICT BETWEEN ALL OF THEM, and in the end don't worry about you questioning or hating the new charachter or it making since to HALLOWEEN 4 or after, the end resolves that and will still get it back on track 4 all those still to work, and the flashbacks at the beginning will have meaning and revelance to this story and ending, and it may also help out the audience and possibly even make them want to watch H2, or maybe even make them like H2 more by the end of this one. :cool: THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK, definetely want more I might post a little more. I know more then likely it probably won't go anywhere, but definetely interesting, the damn thing just kept popping in my head and I visually/literally seen it like a movie, kind of scary didn't put the pin down.
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also a line there from MICHELLE, should make you like, what the hell THEY'RE BROTHERS? What was that all about?
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Looking forward to Becky's demise and a few EMT's too.
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You think JAKE could take down MICHAEL? Or I guess I should ask. Are you scared MICHAEL?
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a little more
FADE IN: SCENE #6 A SHOCKING REVELATION: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM - PATIENT MICHELLE: P.O.V. of MICHELLE OPENING her EYES as if waking from a nap, SHOWING an OUT OF FOCUS person leaning over her. CLOSE UP SHOT of a NAME TAG on a WHITE SHIRT, with the name BRACKETT engraved on it. It then reveals a clear VIEW of the FIGURE and MICHELLE lying in the HOSPITAL BED, It's a female NURSE named CHELSEY. MICHELLE What's your name? CHELSEY It's CHELSEY ma'am. You had yourself a close call there tonight. Didn’t you? MICHELLE So! You're related to the Sherriff? CHELSEY Seen the name tag. Did you? Yeah! He's a local celebrity. Don't worry though, I'm not as strict. MICHELLE No it's not that, I need to talk to him. I have something important he needs to know. Others might be in danger. CHELSEY Why would you say that? Ma'am! MICHELLE Well, I guess I can tell you, and you can get a hold him. Right? CHELSEY Sure can! MICHELLE I have a confession to make. You know Michael Myers? CHELSEY Who doesn’t! MICHELLE Well my son Jacob!.... He is, Michael’s brother! CHELSEY That's not possible! Ma'am! Michael only had a sister, and his Mother and Father died a long time ago. MICHELLE Yes it is! Before Michael's father died, we had an affair, and I had JAKE soon after..... I only hid it, because I was worried for JAKE. I didn’t want the attention or JAKE to get ridiculed.... or worse, so I kept it secret. JAKE always new, though.... It always affected him!... Now I'm worried, he's went off the deep end, with the news of Michael's death. CHELSEY Oh my GOD! MICHELLE He's the one that poisoned me, and I'm worried; he's not going to stop with me! He left me to die, dressed up like Michael. You need to stop him, PLEASE! CHELSEY begins seeing that MICHELLE is serious and stands from her seated position, next to MICHELLE on the HOSPITAL BED. CHELSEY Don't you worry! I'll take care of it. You just rest! As CHELSEY is now exiting the room just before the door, MICHELLE stops her. MICHELLE If you see my son...... RUN! CHELSEY exits the room looking worried. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: P.O.V. through a MASK of the front of the HOSPITAL again hearing the breathing, with the rain pouring down, with lightning and thunder. Then with a bright flash of lightning, blinding the audience and a loud crackle of THUNDER almost at the exact same time. The screen QUICKLY FADES to BLACK out of the bright flash. FADE OUT: SCENE #7: MOTHER'S KEEPER FADE IN: (EXT) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: It starts from the exact ANGLE and spot of the P.O.V. from the previous scene. As if some time has passed, with a V.O. playing from CHELSEY, as if she is leaving a message for SHERRIFF BRACKETT on his phone. While SHERRIFF BRACKETT on duty is pulling up in front of the hospital. *BEEP* CHELSEY (V.O) (urgent) Uncle! It's Chelsey. I have a situation at the hospital, When you get this, I need you to get here as soon as possible. Hurry, Please! Right as SHERRIFF BRACKETT reaches the hospital entrance the scene ends like the previous scene did, with the bright blinding flash, and loud thunder immediately following it at the same time. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL - HALLWAY -NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: Coming out of the BRIGHT FLASH of the previous scene, It turns into a light, on the ceiling of the hallway in the hospital. As the CAMERA is pointing UP right at it, and without moving the CAMERA's POSITION it ROLLS as if on a pivot slowly, towards some DOUBLE DOORS and stops PARALLEL. Right as the CAMERA STOPS the DOUBLE DOORS burst open. With SHERRIFF BRACKETT and CHELSEY walking and talking, with a since of urgency in SHERRIFF BRACKETT, but also unbelieving. This is caught by a KNEE HIGH ANGLE IN-BETWEEN the two, that's pointed slightly up and TRACKING BACKWARDS WITH THEIR URGENT PACE. (about ten steps of dialogue, maybe one line each, they then stop and finish scene abruptly.) SHERRIFF BRACKETT So, you're telling me that son of bitch, has a brother? Is that what you are trying to tell me? CHELSEY That's what she said. She was serious about it! SHERRIFF BRACKETT How do you know that old bag, isn’t making shit up, and just wanting attention? With all the bullshit that has happened, in the past few days. CHELSEY I don't! But wouldn’t you like to find out? Just to make sure. Incase the chance, she is telling the truth. SHERRIFF BRACKETT That's just what this town needs! What room is she in? CHELSEY This way! They walk past that CAMERA VIEW ABOVE and out of scene towards MICHELLE's room. CUT TO: :confused: |
(INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM - PATIENT MICHELLE: SHERRIFF BRACKETT and CHELSEY are talking, (improvising) focused on each other and not where they are going as they enter MICHELLE's room. They both look up, and are frozen in horror, as they see MICHELLE has been BRUTALLY STABBED to death. CHELSEY SCREAMS, covers her mouth with her hand, traumatized! CHELSEY Oh my GOD! NO! NO! NO! CHELSEY (cont'd) You still think that she is making it up, for attention? SHERRIFF BRACKETT How long, has she been unattended? CHELSEY Probably 30 minutes or so. Just long enough for me to call you, and help out a few other patients Two other DOCTORS come running over to the scene. With SHERRIFF BRACKETT then handing CHELSEY over to them. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Get her out of here. I'll take care of this. You guys just get back to work. GOD damn it! Here we go again! As SHERRIFF BRACKETT says his last line frustrated and looking at MICHELLE's bloody body. He then grabs his RADIO to report the situation, he glances up at a security camera in the corner of the hallway pointed at MICHELLE's room. (show camera after he looks up) SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) I need everybody available to respond to the hospital, immediately! We have another homicide, that appears to be imitating Michael Myers. The suspect is believed to be the victim’s son. His name is Jacob Logan, It's happened within the last 30 minutes. So the suspect couldn’t have gotten far. I have been informed the suspect is reported to be Michael Myers brother, so he is considered extremely dangerous. I'm going to review the security feed, and will be able to give you a better description, when you arrive. I need you guys here. NOW! DEPUTY BOWERS (V.0) Roger That! As SHERRIFF BRACKETT receives the response the screen FADES to black. FADE OUT: SCENE #8: FAMILIAR FACE FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - HOSPITAL - SURVIELLENCE ROOM - GREEN/GRAY DULL LIT: Begins with SHERRIFF BRACKETT, leaning with both hands on a desk loaded with monitors, standing to the immediate LEFT of a hospital SECURITY GAURD that's in control of the monitors, with 4 DEPUTIES standing behind them, also looking on. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Can you rewind that? until we, see the suspect. Please! SECURITY GAURD Yes sir! Not a problem. Dialogue then stops and the CAMERA then begins to PAN from LEFT to RIGHT showing the DEPUTY's faces behind the two, as they are all looking on, as the SECURITY GAURD is rewinding the video. Upon reaching DEPUTY4 the last one on the right, who is rubbing his chin, while looking on. He suddenly drops his hand and turns his back as if he saw something shocking. DEPUTY4 Jesus Christ! SHERRIFF BRACKETT points at the monitor. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Right There, Right There! Stop! P.O.V set on the TV/SECURITY MONITOR as the screen begins to play. It shows the figure of what appears to be Michael Myers, slowly coming from a stairwell underneath the CAMERA and entering the first room. DEPUTY BOWERS (O.S.) I thought that bastard was dead! SHERRIFF BRACKETT (O.S.) You idiot! That's not Michael. It's his god damn Brother! The son of a bitch, is a COPYCAT! The video continues showing JACOB exiting the room, with his knife now covered with blood, as he slowly walks back the way he came and exits the screen. After the video concludes, SHERRIFF BRACKETT, begins shouting orders to the DEPUTY’S. First SHERRIFF BRACKETT points at DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and DEPUTY ANDREWS. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Now we know what we are dealing with. I want Schlagle and Andrew, to head out and patrol all the back roads and alleys around the hospital. If you see him, shoot the piece of shit! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Sounds good Sherriff! You got it. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and DEPUTY ANDREWS exit the room. SHERRIFF BRACKETT directs his attention to DEPUTY BOWERS SHERRIFF BRACKETT And Bowers! I need you to call the morgue, and if you can't reach anyone. I want you to go ahead, and get over there. To clarify that Michael's body is still there, and that the son of a bitch is DEAD! I don't want people spreading stories. DEPUTY BOWERS I'm on it! DEPUTY BOWERS turns and also exits the room. SHERRIFF BRACKETT then puts his attention towards the last two, DEPUTY4 and GUARD. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Me and you! We're going to head to JAKE's house, to see if that bastard, is dumb enough to come home. Now can you two give me a minute? I need a moment. PLEASE! As the last two then exit the room. SHERRIFF BRACKETT leans back on the desk and looks at the monitor. Which shows, a frozen image of JAKE, facing the screen. He rubs his forehead and slams his fist on the table in frustration. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Damn it! The scene FADES to BLACK as the SHERRIFF turns to exit. FADE OUT: :confused: |
SCENE #9: WAKING THE DEAD FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE/AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: Begins showing BECKY jamming and slightly dancing with her EARBUDS in, with a quite muffled SOUND of the music playing. The phone begins to ring, but she doesn’t hear it, because of the music, as she just continues on dancing. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - DEPUTY BOWERS VEHICLE - NIGHT - RAINING: P.O.V. from passenger seat as DEPUTY BOWERS is sitting with his car turned off, as he hangs up his phone in frustration. DEPUTY BOWERS Damn it! BECKY! Pick up the phone! DEPUTY BOWERS tosses the phone in the passenger seat. He starts the vehicle and pulls away. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE/AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: Back at the morgue BECKY finally pushes MICHAEL's body under the examining light, still inside the BODY BAG, she pulls out her EARBUDS and drapes them over her shoulder and around her neck, with the muffled music getting louder. BECKY You're up, big guy! BECKY then begins unzipping the body bag slowly, and it gets stuck under his chin once again. As she then begins struggling with the zipper. BECKY Cheap ass city! When are they going to get some new bags? The zipper then releases, as she then opens the bag and spreads it all around MICHAEL's body on the GURNEY, as she then hesitates, but removes the KNIFE from his leg. She discards the KNIFE and picks up some SHEARS and snips them together a few times, with the SOUND of them grinding together, she sarcastically says in a sexual manner. BECKY Now! Let's get you out of them clothes, big boy! BECKY places the SHEARS in the bottom of MICHAEL's right pant leg and snips them once slowly, while glancing up at him. CLOSE UP of MICHAEL's torso, as you HEAR one more slow snip, You then see MICHAEL take an ominous deep breath. BECKY extremely startled jumps up, throwing the SHEARS down. Frightened, she runs over to the PHONE on the wall. BECKY (terrified) Oh my GOD! Oh my GOD! Oh my GOD! BECKY reaches the PHONE and begins dialing 911 frantically with her back turned to MICHAEL. CLOSE UP of MICHAEL's MASK, suddenly his EYES OPEN. Back to BECKY on the phone. In the background behind her, MICHAEL slowly sits up on the GURNEY and begins approaching BECKY. BECKY (cont'd) (impatient) Come on! Come on! Come on! Right as the DISPATCHER picks up the call, Michael grabs BECKY by her EARBUDS that were placed over her shoulder, around her neck, dangling down her back. He begins strangling her. Which rips her away from the PHONE yanking the CORD out with her, as she screams the call is dropped. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - 911 DISPATCH OFFICES: It then shows a quick shot of a FEMALE DISPATCHER hearing BECKY SCREAM (O.S.), and then losing the call. FEMALE DISPATCHER Hello! Ma'am! Ma'am! CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE/AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: Back to the struggle between the two, as BECKY is being strangled, and man handled. CLOSE UP SHOT of the tension in MICHAEL's hands and then the CORD cutting into BECKY's NECK. With BECKY now being lifted off the ground, her legs begin to slow, from all the kicking and flailing she was doing. Showing that she is beginning to fade. Right when her legs stop kicking, MICHAEL slams her head down extremely hard onto a bone saw, that sticks into her head, he then tosses her aside, like nothing. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - 911 DISPATCH OFFICES: The FEMALE DISPATCHER grabs the police RADIO and reports the call. FEMALE DISPATCHER I just received a call, I traced to BECKY down at the morgue. It didn’t sound good! I need somebody to go check it out. PLEASE! CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - DEPUTY BOWERS VEHICLE - DRIVING - NIGHT - RAINING: P.O.V. from the passenger seat DEPUTY BOWERS driving responds to the call. DEPUTY BOWERS (radio) I'm already on my way. I got it! FEMALE DISPATCHER (V.O.) Copy That! DEPUTY BOWERS Shit! DEPUTY BOWERS slaps the wheel and puts his RADIO back. He flips on the SIRENS, hits the gas and speeds off. CUT TO: SCENE #10: NO ONE'S HOME (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - FRONT - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: SHERRIFF BRACKETT and DEPUTY4 pull up in front of JAKE'S house, as the TEENAGE GIRL is sitting on the neighboring porch. SHERRIFF BRACKETT and DEPUTY4 enter the front gate. TEENAGE GIRL How is Miss Logan doing? Sherriff! SHERRIFF begins walking through the yard approaching the house. SHERRIFF BRACKETT She died! I'm sorry! But right now! I need you to go inside and lock your doors. PLEASE! The TEENAGE GIRL who was twiddling with her phone complies, looking a little startled she heads inside. SHERRIFF BRACKETT begins knocking on the door, with DEPUTY4 by his side and begins shouting demands. SHERRIFF BRACKETT It's the police! Open up Jake! We need to put a stop to this, right now! Before anyone else gets hurt. SHERRIFF BRACKETT and DEPUTY4 draw their WEAPONS, as the TEENAGE GIRL is watching out a window. They knock one more time, with no answer they decide to head in. SHERRIFF BRACKETT All right Jake! We gave you a shot, we are coming in. SHERRIFF BRACKETT kicks in the door and scans the room. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I want you to check the upstairs. I got it down here. SHERRIFF BRACKETT searches with no luck. He comes across a locked basement door, and violently kicks it in. CUT TO: :confused: |
(INT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - BASEMENT - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM - VERY DARK: With SHERRIFF BRACKETT standing at the top of the stairs looking down, he then slowly starts his descent, as some lightning flashes out the small window, adding more light. He flips a light switch and the light briefly comes on and then goes out, with a loud pop as if the bulb busted. He then reaches the bottom of the stairs, as the lightning, lights the room again. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Oh my GOD! CLOSE UP of the HEADLESS RAT on the floor lit by a flash of lightning, as it then goes back to black with the darkness of the room. CLOSE UP of LAURIE's clipping that's circled in blood, also lit up by the lightning, followed by a loud clap of thunder. SHERRIFF BRACKETT removes the clipping from the wall, as it FADES to BLACK as the lightning fades. FADE OUT: SCENE #11: BACK TO THE MORGUE FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE - HALLWAY - DARK - FALL NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: DEPUTY BOWERS enters the MORGUES main entrance, in the very dark hallway. He begins very slowly and hesitant, making his way, as he shouts. DEPUTY BOWERS BECKY! BECKY! Are you alive? DEPUTY BOWERS takes a few more steps as he is becoming worried with no response. He draws out his WEAPON, as he heads down the dark hall doing a poor job of scanning. CLOSE UP of a supply closet, that has its door cracked, showing the large figure of MICHAEL standing inside, as DEPUTY BOWERS passes right by, unaware of the danger. He reaches the autopsy room doors and heads in. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE/AUTOPSY ROOM - DIMLY LIT - NIGHT: DEPUTY BOWERS enters the room and immediately sees BECKY's lifeless body with the BONE SAW stuck in her head, as he realizes MICHAEL's body is also missing. In a panic, he grabs his RADIO and begins reporting to SHERRIFF BRACKETT. Standing just inside the autopsy room doors, so the reply will surely echo down the hall. DEPUTY BOWERS (radio) Sherriff! It's DEPUTY BOWERS! I'm at the morgue and I got some bad news. BECKY's dead Sherriff! I don't see Michael's body anywhere. The son of a bitch is alive, Sherriff! CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - MORGUE - HALLWAY - DARK - FALL NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: P.O.V. facing the DOUBLE DOORS entering the autopsy room with a small light shining from within the room, through the cracks of the doors. SHERRIFF BRACKETT replies, as it echoes down the hall, loud enough for Michael to hear in the supply closet. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O.) (radio, response) Now don't be crazy! That's exactly, what Jake wants us to think! He probably stole the damn body. Not a bad way to cover up your mothers murder, if you ask me. Make it look like Michael did it. CLOSE UP of MICHAEL, as he turns his head towards the sound, curiously. Still standing in the closet. DEPUTY BOWERS (V.O.) You're probably right, Sherriff. There is no way Michael could have survived what he went through. Jake got BECKY pretty bad though, Sherriff! SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O.) Yeah that's terrible. I'm standing in the psychos basement, as we speak. I want you to get out of there. I'll send someone else to take care of the scene over there later. I think he might be going to go after Laurie. I want you to go ahead and go to the Psychiatric Hospital and keep an eye out there, in case he shows up. With the revelation to the whereabouts of Laurie, It shows Michael ominously just waiting in the closet. Then back to the previous shot in the hall. DEPUTY BOWERS (V.O) Roger That! Sherriff! After DEPUTY BOWERS reply, he exits through the doors into the hallway. As he casually begins his way down the dark hall approaching the cracked supply closet that contained MICHAEL. Suddenly a mop handle falls from within the closet and onto the hallway floor clanking loudly. Frightening DEPUTY BOWERS, he jumps and grabs his gun, and then cautiously approaches, unable to see inside. Once reaching the door he quickly flings it open, seeing nothing but an empty closet, as he takes a quick breath. MICHAEL violently grabs DEPUTY BOWERS by his throat, lifts him off the ground, and slams him to his back with his head just inside the closet door, he looks up. MICHAEL begins slamming the door into his head, until he ceases to move, except the twitching of his nerves, and with the last violent slam of the door, the scene CUTS. CUT TO: :confused: |
(INT.) HADDONFIELD - LOGAN RESIDENCE - BASEMENT - FALL NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM - VERY DARK: SHERRIFF BRACKETT standing in the dark basement, as he holds the clipping of Laurie in his hand, with the light shining from upstairs. DEPUTY4 begins his way down the stairs, where he stops halfway, shocked at the sight of the room. DEPUTY4 I checked everywhere upstairs and there is no one, here. Wow! What a freak show. I think we found our guy sheriff! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Tell me about it! He's definitely our man. Let me make a radio call and we're getting out of this hell hole, there is nothing else here. SHERRIFF BRACKETT grabs his RADIO. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) Deputy Andrews! Deputy Andrews! You there? DEPUTY ANDREWS (V.O.) Yes, Sherriff? SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) Are you and Schlagel still patrolling, near the hospital? DEPUTY ANDREWS (V.O.) That's affirmative, No sign of him. Sir! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Well I'm going to need you and Schlagel, to head to the psychiatric hospital, and get some extra bodies up there, to keep an eye on Laurie. I have reason to believe, that's where he's heading. DEPUTY ANDREWS (V.O) Alright Sherriff! We're on our way! SHERRIFF BRACKETT clips his radio back to its holster and tosses the clipping with LAURIE to the floor and heads up the stairs. The CAMERA follows the clipping of LAURIE to the floor. CUT TO: SCENE #12: GET YOUR FILL (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: CLOSE UP of a California license plate, as it pulls up to the gas station pump, and begins to ZOOM OUT as two people exit a HUMMER showing that they are the only customers. A YOUNG MAN exits the driver side and a HOT BLONDE exits the passenger side. The YOUNG MAN approaches the pump and hands the HOT BLOND his WALLET. YOUNG MAN Here! Hurry up, we need to get back on the road, and get out of this GOD forsaken town. HOT BLONDE I just have to use the restroom! The HOT BLONDE begins slapping the WALLET against her left palm and walking towards the building. She stops outside the door and asks. HOT BLONDE You hungry? You want some hot dogs, or something? YOUNG MAN Yeah! Just grab me a bag of chips, that will hold me over. HOT BLONDE What number is the pump? YOUNG MAN The only one being used! The HOT BLONDE gives the YOUNG MAN a dirty look, sticking out her tongue, and then enters the building. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: The HOT BLONDE enters the gas station, with the WALLET in hand and the YOUNG MAN outside at the pump. She looks around the store for a restroom inside, but it's nowhere to be found. She then approaches the CLERK who is a rather skinny teenager, who definitely appreciates her beauty. HOT BLONDE Where's your guys restroom located? The CLERK then pulls up a rest room key, jingling it. CLERK It's outside. The HOT BLONDE grabs the keys, and heads for the exit. HOT BLONDE (snooty) You guys definitely need to do some updating! CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: The HOT BLONDE exits the gas station heading toward the side of the building. As she shakes the keys catching the YOUNG MAN's attention at the pump, she yells. HOT BLONDE If this restroom is a dump, I'm kicking your ASS! The YOUNG MAN pumping the gas glances up snickering. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - RESTROOM - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: With the rain pouring down the HOT BLONDE comes running into the scene, on the side of the building just outside the restroom, but she sees the door is already opened. Hesitating, she stops! HOT BLONDE So much for the keys! CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - RESTROOM - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: The HOT BLONDE bravely enters anyway, and flips the light switch, but there is no lights. HOT BLONDE OK, I'm kicking his ASS! The HOT BLONDE leaves the door cracked lighting only the first stall, in a two stall restroom. The HOT BLONDE then enters the stall that’s lit up from the cracked door. The HOT BLONDE then wipes the seat and SHIVERS making a sound as if she is grossed out. She then takes a seat and you begin HEARING her use it, she wraps the toilet paper, so she can wipe. Then suddenly you HEAR the TOILET in the darkened stall flush. You see the HOT BLONDE is startled. HOT BLONDE I'm sorry! I didn’t know somebody was in here. The HOT BLONDE begins reaching for her pants still seated, she pauses as there is no response. She sees and hears heavy footstep come out of the stall next to her, casting shadows and they stop in front of her stall. :confused: |
That's enough I guess, so much more though!!!
Input please, awful YES or NO or AVERAGE, for a first attmept at anything like this. :p That's exactly the half way point. I made it long so things could be taken out if needed, instead of needing to be added. 10 deaths after this point, and most of the action comes after this. THE BLONDE don't make it !! SORRY if you liked her. I didn't! |
She pulls up her pants and flushes the toilet. Frightened she reaches for the door. She opens it revealing MICHAEL or JAKE standing there, just as there is a flash of lightning. The HOT BLONDE begins to scream, which is covered by a loud clap of thunder. He then grabs her by putting his hand over her mouth, man handling her, he quickly slams her head into the sink, breaking her neck like a rag doll. CUT TO: (EXT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: The YOUNG MAN leaning over still pumping his gas, he begins getting impatient from it taking so long, not really looking or focusing on anything. MICHAEL or JAKE catches the YOUNG MANS attention walking away as if he wasn’t paying attention to the YOUNG MAN. The YOUNG MAN for some reason put his foot in his mouth. Getting the big guys attention! YOUNG MAN Hey Bub! Halloween is over Bro. Aren’t you also a little big? To be playing dress up anyway! MICHAEL or JAKE then turns and slowly begins approaching the YOUNG MAN, right as MICHAEL or JAKE reach the front of the vehicle he stops, just silently lurking, over the YOUNG MAN in plain sight. YOUNG MAN These damn Hummers take forever to fill up! Don't they? The pump then clicks indicating the HUMMER is finally full as the YOUNG MAN now stands there awkwardly as his cocky demeanor has completely changed. (for some reason) The YOUNG MAN then removes the nozzle from the HUMMER as MICHAEL or JAKE begins approaching him. The YOUNG MAN with the nozzle still in his hand puts his hands up, like he is being held up, and begins speaking. YOUND MAN Hey man! I'm sorry! I was just kidd. (kidding) The YOUNG MAN gets cut off before he can get the last word of dialogue out. MICHAEL or JAKE quickly grabs the nozzle and violently shoves it into the YOUNG MAN's eye socket, hard enough for it to stay on its own. MICHAEL or JAKE then squeezes the nozzle, setting it in place allowing it to continue pumping. P.O.V. of a GROUND VIEW in between the HUMMER and the pumps as the YOUNG MAN's body falls in the shot facing the camera with the nozzle in his eye socket, with gas pumping out his mouth/eye socket/ or nose. The shot then pans up to the pump as the meter continue to run. CUT TO: SCENE #13: CUSTOMER SERVICE (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: P.O.V. from inside a MASK across the street from the gas station witnessing what just happened with the sound of heavy breathing and rain coming down, watching the other walking out of view to the LEFT SIDE of the SHOT. Once he is out of view the CLERK then rushes out of the gas station terrified, rushing over to the YOUNG MAN, and apparently stopping the gas from pumping. The CLERK then rushes back towards the entrance. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: The CLERK, terrified at what he just saw rushes inside. He quickly runs behind the counter, and grabs the phone to dial 911, as he dials the number, he sits down behind the counter with his back up against it. CLERK Oh my GOD! Help me Please! I need to report a murder! Please Hurry! FEMALE DISPATCHER (V.O) Relax take a breath! What's your location? CLERK I'm at the Fill’er Up station on route 31, there is a dead body out front. I also let someone use the restroom outside that never came back. So I think there might be two people dead! Holy Shit! Hurry! As the FEMALE DISPATCHER starts her next dialogue, the buzzer letting the CLERK know, there is a CUSTOMER rings. The CLERK realizes someone has entered the gas station. He slowly pokes his head over the counter. FEMALE DISPATCHER (V.O) I need you to remain calm, I'll radio you some help! Someone will be there within 10 minutes! CLERKS P.O.V, you see MICHAEL or JAKE just standing inside the door, slowly scanning turning his head. CUT TO: :confused: |
(INT.) HADDONFIELD - 911 DISPATCH OFFICES: Showing the DISPATCHER you begin to HEAR the scary situation on the other end of the line, unfolding. CLERK (V.O) Oh my GOD! He's back! What do? I do! As the DISPATCHER begins her dialogue you begin to HEAR what sounds like the CLERK being brutally beaten with the PHONE. FEMALE DISPATCHER (worried) Do you have anything? To defend yourself with! You have all the authority to use lethal force. In Self Defense! CLERK (V.O) NO! Don't! Please! Stop! NO! The FEMALE DISPATCHER then horrified at gory SOUND of the CLERK being brutally beaten and pleading for his life, she decides to RADIO out the situation. FEMALE DISPATCHER (radio) I have a CLERK being attacked at the Fill'er Up station on route 31. He said there is one person already dead and possibly another. I need someone respond immediately. CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: CLERKS P.O.V. looking up at MICHAEL or JAKE as he tosses the bloody PHONE aside. SHERRIFF BRACKETT responds to the FEMALE DISPATCHER's radio plea. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O) I need as many units to respond on this one. It's JAKE, I'm 10 minutes away. We can't let the son of a bitch get away. Get there NOW! It then shows a quick shot of the CLERK still alive, but covered in blood, missing some teeth, and the floor all around him splattered with blood. CLERKS P.O.V. as he's shaking and very weak, he reaches under the counter and pulls out a SHOTGUN and slowly lifts it aiming it at MICHAEL or JAKE, like he barely has the strength to lift the GUN, and begins to say. CLERK DIE! As the CLERK says DIE, with the barrel of the shotgun pointed up at MICHAEL or JAKE, MICHAEL or JAKE arrogantly cocks his head. Then with a QUICK CAMERA ACTION grabs the GUN and flips it around shoving the barrel into the CLERKS HEAD, that goes into his skull. (he can pull the trigger or not.) After the MURDER it shows MICHAEL or JAKES legs walking back towards the door. Switching to a shot focused on the CLERKS face, now dead you HEAR the heavy FOOTSTEPS as MICHAEL or JAKE head towards the door slowly, with the sound of the FEMALE DISPATCHER on the phone (V.O. improvising), and then the SOUND of the BUZZER as he exits. As the shot remains on the deceased CLERK. FADE to BLACK about 3 or 4 seconds after the buzzer sounds indicating MICHAEL or JAKE left. FADE OUT: SCENE #14 MICHAEL'S ALIVE FADE IN: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: It comes out of the black screen as if some time has passed, with the CAMERA set up across the street, that shows an OFFICER taping off the gruesome scene, with 3 or 4 POLICE CARS and their lights flashing, parked in front of the gas station. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: P.O.V. from the DEAD CLERK, looking towards where MICHAEL or JAKE stood killing him, and in their place SHERRIFF BRACKETT's standing and is becoming increasingly agitated with the rising body count. SHERRIFF BRACKETT The GOD damn son of a bitch is worse than his brother! Fucking nut job runs in that shitty bloodline, that's for sure. Michael took my daughter! Well I'm taking the cock suckers, Brother! SHERRIFF BRACKETT then flings a small shelf off the counter in frustration that flies out into the store. The STORE MANAGER arrives in a pajama get up, and enters the building. Seeing the SHERRIFF's outburst. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Sorry about that! We'll just pretend like that happened earlier. It's been a rough couple of days! The STORE MANAGER ignores SHERRIFF BRACKETT at first, and rushes over to see the CLERKS body. The STORE MANAGER places his hand on his forehead in shock. STORE MANAGER What am I going to tell his mother? He was such a good kid. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Don't you worry about that, we'll take care of letting her know! STORE MANAGER Yeah! She needs to know before the news station picks up on it. I'm sure they're on their way, already. I knew I shouldn’t have let the kid, work the late shift. He wanted to pull a double, so he could have some extra money for some damn video game. SHERRIFF BRACKETT puts his arm on the STORE MANAGER. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Stop beating yourself, up! It's not your fault. Let's take a look at those surveillance tapes, just to make sure, and get a print out of this son of a bitch. They head into a back room walking out of the scene. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - GAS STATION - BACK ROOM - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: As they walk in the back room the STORE MANAGER pulls up a chair in front of a COMPUTER SCREEN. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I'm going to have to admit, I'm getting tired of watching these damn videos. It's the second God damn one tonight. They begin watching the screen as MICHAEL or JAKE walk into VIEW of the pumps just before killing the YOUNG MAN. Something catches SHERRIFF BRACKETTS attention. SHERRIFF BRACKETT What's that? STORE MANAGER What’s what? SHERRIFF BRACKETT That right there! In the upper left of the screen. Can you isolate that? And then zoom in? STORE MANAGER Sure can! SHERRIFF BRACKETT It's kind of funny! This gas station has a high tech computer surveillance system, but you still got a damn outhouse! As the MANAGER ZOOMS IN on the image, it becomes clear to SHERRIFF BRACKETT, that there is more than one killer, as it shows two MASKED MEN in the same shot. |
SHERRIFF BRACKETT Oh my GOD! MICHAEL IS ALIVE! Print that image, and give it to my guys. So they can give it to the news reporter. So the public can also know what's happening. Thinking about it! Go ahead and get me one too. Memory is getting bad with my old age. Before SHERRIFF BRACKETT begins to exit he pats the STORE MANAGER on the shoulder, who is still sitting at the COMPUTER SCREEN, who hands him the print outs. STORE MANAGER Here you go! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Thanks man! Sorry about the kid. SHERRIFF BRACKETT turns to leave the room, but stops and talks DEPUTY4, just as he walks in. DEPUTY4 What is it Sherriff? SHERRIFF BRACKETT hands DEPUTY4 one of the print outs, while keeping one safely in view, to himself! SHERRIFF BRACKETT I want you to give this to the news reporters, and have them retract their story about Michael's death. DEPUTY4 What? You saying Michael's Alive? SHERRIFF BRACKETT Unfortunately yes! Then tell them, that there are not just one, but there are two of them bastards to worry about. Can you do that? DEPUTY4 If that's what you think is best. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I want everyone in this town to be on edge, and for them to report anything what so ever. Tell them hell, if they break a nail, call it in! DEPUTY4 You got it! I've never seen you like this! SHERRIFF BRACKETT I'm just tired and irritated, should be in a nice warm bed right now. But these two assholes have other things in mind. I'm going to head out of here, before I waste anymore time. DEPUTY4 Alright! You should grab you some coffee, Sherriff! I got a feeling that it's going to be a long night. The scene begins to FADE as DEPUTY4 speaks his last line. FADE OUT: SCENE #15 SHOULD'VE LISTENED FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - SHERRIFFS VEHICLE - PATROLLING - ALLEY - RAIN STOPS: SHERRIFF BRACKETT pulls over in a darkened alley and begins looking at a picture of ANNIE that is in his wallet, and then the print out of MICHAEL. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I'll get the son of a bitch. Annie! I promise! The rain stops. He tosses the picture to the passenger seat, YAWNS and grabs his CELL PHONE and begins dialing. SHERRIFF BRACKETT About time that rain stopped. SHERRIFF BRACKETT calls DEPUTY SCHLAGEL at the hospital. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Hey! It's Sherriff. I was just calling to see how it's going over there and how Laurie's doing. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL (V.O) Things are good and quite. I don't know if Laurie is medicated or what. She's been asleep the whole time that we've been here. She has no idea what's happening. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - SHERRIFF'S VEHICLE - PARKED - ALLEY - CAR RUNNING - RAIN JUST STOPPED: P.O.V VIEW from INSIDE A MASK about 20 feet or so behind SHERRIFF BRACKETTS vehicle, that's parked on the right side of the very dark alley, showing a GARAGE on the left of the ALLEY, 50 yards up with its GARAGE DOOR UP, with the light on inside and MUSIC playing loudly, you also HEAR the heavy breathing again from within the MASK. The Sherriff continues his phone conversation. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O) Good! Now if she does wake up. I don't want you to say anything about this, or what is going on. I want to be the one that breaks the news that Michael is still alive. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL (V.O) Whoa! Whoa! What did I miss? Michael's ALIVE? SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O) I just got done watching another Video! It had both of them bastards in the same shot. So yeah! The boogeyman is back! The P.O.V then begins slowly getting closer to the SHERRIFF's vehicle as the brake lights, light up. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL (V.O) (exhaling, heavily) SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O) Hey I'm going to get off here. Remember, if Laurie comes too, don't say anything to her. I'm going to patrol a few back alleys and then make my way over there. I want to be the one to talk to her about everything. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL (V.O) Sherriff you're repeating yourself, I think you need a nap! I guess I'll see you in a few. See you Sherriff! As the P.O.V. reaches the back of the vehicle, the conversation ends. You HEAR the beep of the PHONE, SHERRIFF BRACKETT hangs up the PHONE, pulls away heading towards the GARAGE, up the alley. |
(INT.) HADDONFIELD - 2 MAN PARTY GARAGE - ALLEY - NIGHT - RAIN JUST STOPPED - GARAGE DOOR OPENED: It opens with music playing loudly, in a Smokey garage with adult female and black light posters on the walls. You HEAR the bubbling of a WATER BONG as TEENAGER1, lifts his head and exhales a big plume of smoke, with a smile on his face, sitting on a couch that's located in the middle of the garage, with its back turned from the alley and the opened garage door, with a circular table in front of it. TEENAGER2 sees SHERRIFF BRACKETT pull up outside. TEENAGER2 quietly trying to get TEENAGER1's attention. TEENAGER2 PSS! PSSSSSS! It works; TEENAGER1 turns his head after another big hit from the BONG, he sees SHERRIFF BRACKETT's car, he coughs it out shocked as smoke goes everywhere. TEENAGER1 sits the BONG on the floor behind the front of the couch, by its edge, and then jumps to his feet. The TEENAGERS face SHERRIFF BRACKETT's car. Who, rolls down his window, and takes a whiff. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Smells like a good time boys! TEENAGER2 then casually slides the bong more behind the couch, with his foot. He looks around, like did anyone see that! TEENAGER1 I don't know what you’re talking about, officer! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Well that's the least of your worries boys! SHERRIFF BRACKETT holds the printout picture up. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Have seen this person anytime at all within the last 24 hours? The TEENAGERS look at each other, and answer together. TEENAGER1 and 2 NO! SHERRIFF BRACKETT I didn’t think so! I would have probably been cleaning up your dead bodies, if you did! Well if you do, you know who to call right? That pot didn’t make you forget the number, to 911? Did it? The TEENAGERS again look at each other and answer at the same time, after an uncomfortable pause. TEENAGER1 and 2 NO! SHERRIFF BRACKETT shakes his head and snickers. SHERRIFF BRACKETT You two have to look at each other for approval to everything you do. I don't think I want to know what else you can't do without each other. Just saying 2 guys alone in a garage, one in the morning. Don't look so good! Ahhh! I'm just giving you two a hard time. But if you do see him, my best advice, is to run the other direction. TEENAGER1 and 2 Alight officer! After answering at the same time again, the TEENAGERS look at each other and shake their heads. SHERRIFF BRACKETT You two definitely spend too much time together! CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - 2 MAN PARTY GARAGE - ALLEY - NIGHT - RAIN JUST STOPPED - GARAGE DOOR OPENED: P.O.V. inside the mask from behind SHERRIFF BRACKETT's VEHICLE, again hearing the heavy breathing. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I'm out of here boys. Nice talking to you. And oh yeah! If I was you, I would probably shut that door and head in the house. Take it easy on the reefer boys! SHERRIFF BRACKETT pulls away. CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - 2 MAN PARTY GARAGE - ALLEY - NIGHT - RAIN JUST STOPPED - GARAGE DOOR OPENED: Now with the TEENAGERS back inside the garage, as they don't take the SHERRIFF's advice. TEENAGER1 bends down grabs the BONG from its hiding spot. TEENAGER1 flops on the sofa, with his back turned from the open door, he drags the circular table closer to him. TEENAGER2 flips the light switch flipping off the regular light and flips on a BLACK LIGHT. TEENAGER2 Who needs to shut the door? When you're protected by the light. Don't go into the light, my little friend! TEENAGER1 takes a hit from the BONG, and holds it in. TEENAGER1 You know? maybe this stuff, Isn’t all that good for us. With the shit, that comes out of your mouth, (coughs) kind of makes me wonder. TEENAGER2 then begins playing with the radio station changing it, also turning his back, to the open door. TEENAGER2 Damn pigs! Always trying to be haters, and ruin a good time. TEENAGER1 hits the bong as he holds it in and snickers. TEENAGER1 Yeah man! It's medical, I swear! TEENAGER2 finally settles on a station that begins playing some kind of song. TEENAGER1 takes another big hit and extra suck of air, holding it in. TEENAGER2 turns and you see the instant change to soberness and fear in his face. As he sees MICHAEL or JAKE standing in the black light, behind TEENAGER1 who is still holding the hit in oblivious. TEENAGER2 It's Him! TEENAGER1 trying to talk and still hold the hit in. TEENAGER1 It's Who man? It's WHH-- TEENAGER1 just as his lips pucker saying WHO, before he can finish. MICHAEL or JAKE grabs the back of his head and slams it onto the FLOURESCENT BONG on the table, that goes in his mouth and up into his brain. TEENAGER2 freaks out and begins running towards the door, that's next to the radio that leads into the back yard. MICHAEL or JAKE then grabs something heavy, and with a stiff arm, throws it into the radio, causing a FAKE RECORD SKIP SOUND and then goes into THE MUSIC. (YOU KNOW WHAT MUSIC, he must not have liked the music) TEENAGER2 stops in his tracks as the RADIO explodes, but he quickly continues on, opening the door and exiting the garage. MICHAEL or JAKE slowly turns the other way and walks out towards the alley. It then PANS down as the big guy walks out, showing TEENAGER1's head on the table, with the bong in his mouth going into his brain, with smoke coming out his nostrils. FADE OUT: SCENE #16 LAURIE'S WORST NIGHTMARE |
After reading Jacob's attack on his wife, I have been pondering the concept of giving Michael a brother all day. It is extremely high risk, and only somewhat high reward. It opens a new chapter that I think has to resolve itself in THIS script, since he does not have a brother, nor is one mentioned, in subsequent films. I will read on to see if this is just a "gimmick" (ala "Jason" in Friday the 13th V) or it plays heavily in the story.
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ZOMBIE touched on LAURIE'S own mental ISSUES quite abit which will come into play with JAKE, also in 4 DR. LOOMIS is still alive, so that also has to be resolved, which I try my best. I like where it goes in the end, personally because it would set up to 4 being able to be made with almost the exact story. So it would fit with the plot.
All together this is about an 1hr. 40 min. to a 1hr 50 min. read average. you haven't made it to the part yet but That's JAKES mother. Since they were talking 3D for it, I kind of wanted to make it fun, but also attempted to make it appealing to the older fans, which I am now unfortunetly considered one of those. |
SCENE #16 LAURIE'S WORST NIGHTMARE FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - LAURIE'S ROOM - NIGHT - BEGINNING TO STORM: It begins with a black screen and a LOUD CRACK of THUNDER while still black, followed with the SOUND of a NEWS ALERT beginning broadcast. It then FADES IN showing the TV in a dark hospital room that is suddenly lit up by a bright flash of lightning and another LOUD CRACK of THUNDER, while the NEWS REPORT continues playing. The CAMERA then begins to PAN towards the subject in the bed at a pace that doesn’t show them until the last line of the NEWS REPORT. NEWS REPORTER We interrupt this program to bring you an important news alert. We have been informed by our local authorities that former local resident and known psychopath, Michael Myers who was believed to have been killed, late last night. Is still alive and on the loose. We have also been informed, that another local resident named Jacob Myers Logan is feared to be acting as a copycat to Michael. The two are believed to have murdered at least 5 people already. We have also received this image from local authorities, and that if you are to see either of these two men, you are ordered to contact the police immediately and to not take actions into your own hands. These two are considered extremely dangerous individuals. If we receive any further information on this growing situation, we will bring them to you, as soon as they come in. LAURIE laying in her bed in the fetal position, wearing a plain white cotton outfit with her back turned from the door, showing her emotionless face. She then in a zombie like state gets out of her bed and begins lumbering towards the door. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - VERY EMPTY - NIGHT - STORMING: LAURIE lumbers out, into a deserted hallway, 4 or 5 steps down the hall as the SHOT FOLLOWS her. Suddenly DEPUTY ANDREWS wraps his arms gently around LAURIE, who freaks out and begins struggling trying to, get away. LAURIE NO! NO! Let me go! I need to get out of here! Let Me Go! DEPUTY ANDREWS LAURIE stop! We are here to protect you, there is nothing to worry about. I promise you! We are right here! DEPUTY ANDREWS finishes his last line, and SHERRIFF BRACKETT comes rushing in, who takes over the DEPUTY's position, wrapping his arms around LAURIE, escorting her towards her room, while scolding DEPUTY ANDREWS. LAURIE He's coming for me! SHERRIFF BRACKETT I thought I said not to say anything to her, until I got here! SHERRIFF BRACKETT and LAURIE enter her room. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL She saw it on the news Sherriff! There was nothing we could do. SHERRIFF BRACKETT then returns out of the room without LAURIE, greeted by DEPUTY SCHLAGEL. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Yeah! I guess news travels fast. UMMM! Where's DEPUTY BOWERS? I didn’t see him. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Last I seen or heard from him, was at the hospital. Watching the video of that woman’s murder. Why you ask Sherriff? SHERRIFF BRACKETT Damn it! Yeah, I sent him here after he reported BECKY's murder. Michael must have got him. Damn it! Shit! These sons of bitches are driving me crazy. We're spread so damn thin, as it is. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Do you want me? To get ahold of DEPUTY BOWERS, wife? Sir! SHERRIFF BRACKETT No I don't! He might have got jammed up, in something else. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL You’re the boss! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Right now, I kind of wish I wasn’t! I'm going to go, talk to Laurie. SHERRIFF BRACKETT pats DEPUTY SCHLAGEL on the shoulder and heads into LAURIE's room. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - LAURIE'S ROOM - DARK - NIGHT - STORMING: SHERRIFF BRACKETT enters LAURIE's room as she is sitting on the edge of her bed, facing the window. SHERRIFF BRACKETT pulls up a small chair sitting in her view, as she wipes a tear. LAURIE Is it really true? Michael's still alive! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Yes Laurie, it is! LAURIE It feels too much like a bad dream! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Well it's very real LAURIE. I also have some news that's going to shock you! LAURIE I don't think it can get much fucking worse! SHERRIFF BRACKETT Well Jacob Logan! The guy, that is imitating your brother. Laurie, he is also your brother! LAURIE NO! How is that possible? SHERRIFF BRACKETT Well Laurie, your father had an affair with this man’s mother, just before your father died. She hid it from everyone, for fear of the repercussions and the attention. LAURIE remains silent looking very worried. SHERRIFF BRACKETT It will be ok Laurie, you don't need to worry. There will be an officer here, the rest of the night. I just wanted to come see how you was doing. You should try to get some rest, the Deputy will come get you if anything happens. And Laurie or should I say Angel, I'm sorry for not telling you, that Michael was your brother, and hiding it for so long. Just thought it was best for you. I'm Sorry! LAURIE It's OK. I think I'm past that now! I'm sorry I couldn’t protect Annie! |
As LAURIE finishes her statement a call comes over SHERRIFF BRACKETT's RADIO. FEMALE DISPATCHER (V.O) (radio) You out there? Sherriff Brackett! SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) Brackett here! What you need? FEMALE DISPATCHER (V.O) (radio) Sherriff I just received a call from a young man, that said he had talked to you, just moments before his friend was killed in his garage. He wanted me to tell you, that he was sorry they didn’t listen to you. Just thought you would want to know. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Damn it! Alright, thank you! SHERRIFF BRACKETT obviously beaten down some more looks at LAURIE who is curled up on her bed. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I'm going to get back out there, before anybody else dies. It will be alright, Laurie! Don't worry! I'll get the son of a bitch! LAURIE draws her knees to her chest, and sits up playing with the sheets, staring blankly into space, as SHERRIFF BRACKETT exits to the hallway. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - NIGHT - STORMING: SHERRIFF BRACKETT exits Laurie's room and sees DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and DEPUTY ANDREWS sitting and talking. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Hey, I only need one of you outside of her room! The two DEPUTIES stand to their feet. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I want one of you, to head out front to the cruiser, and then radio up if you see anything! And the other to get her out of here, if you see anything. OK? DEPUTY ANDREWS Why don't we just take her somewhere safe? Right now! SHERRIFF BRACKETT turns to walk away and responds. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I guess, just think of Laurie as bait! As long as Michael or Jake, knows where she is, We'll know where they're going! SHERRIFF BRACKETT heads down the hall, he sees a blonde female NURSE, with a pony tail approaching. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Are you Laurie’s nurse? NURSE Why, yes I am! SHERRIFF BRACKETT I would like you to give Laurie something, to help her get some sleep. If you would? She's been through a lot. I don't want her worrying all night! NURSE Sure Sherriff! Not a problem! Just give me a little bit. I have a few other things to take care of first. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Alright! That's fine, No hurry. SHERRIFF BRACKETT then exits down the hall. FADE OUT: SCENE #17 BROTHERLY LOVE FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - SHERRIFF'S VEHICLE - ROAD ALONG SIDE WOODS/RIVER - NIGHT - STORMIMG: P.O.V. passenger seat looking up as SHERRIFF BRACKETT is driving with it silent, and just the SOUNDS of the wipers going back and forth and the rain coming down. SHERRIFF BRACKETT yawns, wipes some sleep from his eyes, again showing the ware from the long night. SHERRIFF BRACKETTS P.O.V. showing the long dark road ahead. Suddenly he has a vision of MICHAEL walking in front of the vehicle and turning, to face him. SHERRIFF BRACKETT stays his course as MICHAEL disappears, right before being hit, a hallucination. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Holy Shit!!! He shakes his head as if to say I'm awake now. CUT TO: (INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - VEHICLE - PARKED - JUST BEFORE A BRIDGE - BESIDE WOODS - NIGHT - STORMING: VIEW from the back seat, as a young couple is meeting in the middle of the front seat, kissing passionately. HORNY GIRL You couldn’t (kiss) wait (kiss) to get (kiss) home, huh? (kiss) HORNY GUY Your too beautiful, couldn’t do it! It then shows a shot of each as they say their lines. HORNY GIRL (reveals breasts) Was it these? HORNY GUY Definitely! Oh, you’re going to get it! P.O.V. from the back seat as the HORNY GIRL topless climbs to the backseat, with just the sound of the heavy RAIN. P.O.V. from the passenger seat as the HORNY GUY puts his back against the driver side door, stretches his legs out, over the passenger seat and begins frantically trying to get his pants off. Out of nowhere behind him you see the body of a man as if he is just walking by, quickly followed by the busting of the glass with a butcher KNIFE going through the back of the HORNY GUYS head and out the front of his right eye, with the eye stuck to the tip of the butcher KNIFE, that dislodges from its socket towards the screen, that plops off as MICHAEL or JAKE retracts the KNIFE from the HORNY GUYS head. The HORNY GIRL begins screaming with blood splattered all over her chest. MICHAEL or JAKE as if he was just passing by continues walking, sparing the HORNY GIRLS life. CUT TO: |
(EXT.) HADDONFIELD - VEHICLE - SIDE OF THE ROAD - JUST BEFORE BRIDGE - BESIDE WOODEN AREA - NIGHT - STORMING: MUSIC PLAYING (AGAIN YOU KNOW WHAT MUSIC) After the scene of what just happened. SLOW MOTION as MICHAEL or JAKE is walking away with the busted glass, as it is still hitting the ground. The girl screaming also starts in slow motion and picks up, as the shot also picks up with the glass as it rebounds off the road. MICHAEL or JAKE walks out of scene in regular speed as the HORNY GIRL continues to scream. HELICOPTER P.O.V. as MICHAEL or JAKE continues walking away towards the BRIDGE, that's high above a river. In the headlights of the parked vehicle. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - BRIDGE - HIGH ABOVE RIVER - WOODEN AREA BOTH ENDS OF BRIDGE - NIGHT - STORMING - BROTHERLY LOVE: P.O.V. from the middle of the bridge as MICHAEL's head comes into the line of sight in SLOW MOTION over the bubble of the road in the middle of the bridge, as the MUSIC plays until his whole body is visible. P.O.V. from inside a MASK with the sound of breathing, appearing to be climbing a small grassy ditch and then steps onto a road showing this person’s feet as they do all those actions, which then turns towards the bridge and begins walking, it looks up and shows the image of MICHAEL or JAKE, who is shocked as he stops where he is on the bridge. P.O.V. ends with a flash of lightning. (The audience will have no clue who's who. But I will show just to make this easier to write.) MICHAEL already on the Bridge, cocks his head curiously and takes a large breath, that comes out of his mask, from the cold air. A side shot shows both as they look into each other’s souls for the first time. They both approach each other with bad intentions. MICHEAL coming from the right of the screen comes with a lumbering overhand stab attempt, which is blocked by JACOB's hand, where he remains holding MICHAEL's arm, right where he caught it, as JACOB then plunges his knife into MICHAEL's abdomen. In which MICHAEL reacts, by grabbing JACOB's arm, as he rips the knife from his body. Then as both are holding each other’s arms and knifes in place, MICHAEL head butts JACOB, knocking him on his back. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - SHERRIFF'S VEHICLE - PULLING UP TO BRIDGE - NEED BACK UP - NIGHT - STORMING: P.O.V. from backseat as SHERRIFF BRACKETT approaches the action on the bridge and sees the two. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Holy Shit!!! SHERRIFF BRACKETT then squints and shakes his head, as if he is seeing things. With the car now stopped. He grabs the RADIO, for backup. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) It's Sherriff! I need back up! You're not going to believe this. I have both of them! We are on the Rivers Gate Bridge! I need everyone to respond, I mean everyone! NOW! He hits the police lights, grabs his gun, exiting the car. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - BRIDGE - HIGH ABOVE RIVER - WOODEN AREA BOTH ENDS OF BRIDGE - NIGHT - STORMING - BROTHERLY LOVE 2: Picks up with the fight on the bridge, with SHERRIFF BRACKETT, now at the opposite end of the HORNY COUPLE. With JACOB still on the ground, from the head butt, and MICHAEL acting like a gentleman, letting JACOB get back to his feet, or so it seemed. with JACOB's left hand held high, as he is getting to his feet. MICHAEL sticks the BUTCHER KNIFE clean through the palm of JACOB's hand towards the screen (show close up), and drives JACOB back to the edge of the rail. As MICHAEL holds the knife still through JACOB's hand and JACOB's upper body over the rail. High above the river. SHERRIFF BRACKETT MICHAEL!!! MICHAEL slowly turns his head and looks at the SHERRIFF still maintaining control of JACOB. MICHAEL ominously turns his head back to the action and swiftly rips the knife out of JACOB's hand. Grabs JACOB's feet and flips him over the rail. P.O.V. inside the mask falling towards the river. MICHAEL gathers himself and looks towards the SHERRIFF. SHERRIFF BRACKETT MICHAEL? Stay where you are! MICHAEL cocks his head, breathing heavily as shown coming out the mask in the cold air, he takes a step towards SHERRIFF BRACKETT who is having none of that. SHERRIFF BRACKETT I said stay where you are! SHERRIFF BRACKETT wastes no time, he pulls the trigger knocking MICHAEL backwards towards the rail. He fires 3 more times knocking him back each time, upon the last shot, MICHAEL falls over the rail also. SHERRIFF BRACKETT runs over to the rail looking down, in time to see MICHAEL hit the water below. SHERRIFF BRACKETT near the rail breathes deeply. CUT TO::confused: |
(EXT.) HADDONFIELD - BRIDGE - AFTERMATH - NIGHT - :confused:STORMING: HELICOPTER P.O.V. of the bridge showing the SHERRIFFS CAR with its lights flashing, with SHERRIFF BRACKETT in the headlights, in the middle of the BRIDGE, leaning on the rail, as DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and ANDREWS pull up behind the SHERRIFF's CAR. The two DEPUTIES jump out and rush over to the scene. The SHOT picks up on the bridge. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Where'd they go Sherriff? SHERRIFF BRACKETT The EDGE! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL What? SHERRIFF BRACKETT Over the edge! They went over the edge! DEPUTY ANDREWS Well good! That means they're dead. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Yeah! Nobody could have survived that fall, Sherriff! SHERRIFF BRACKETT You really think it killed them! I shot the son of a bitch and I don't think he's dead! You see what he survived, already! I won't believe it, until I see the bodies, and when we find them, we're burning the bastards! CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - SHERRIFF'S VEHICLE - PARKED - EDGE OF BRIDGE - NIGHT - STORMING: P.O.V. from the passenger seat as SHERRIFF BRACKETT gets in his vehicle, and leaves the door open, grabbing his RADIO, as DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and DEPUTY ANDREWS loiter outside in the rain, close by. SHERRIFF BRACKETT (radio) All units stand down! I now need 2 or 3 boats in the water, just south of the Rivers Gate Bridge, as quick as possible. Hopefully we're just looking for bodies. They went over the rail and into the river. The SHERRIFF slams his door, rolls down the window and barks orders at DEPUTY SCHLAGEL and DEPUTY ANDREWS. SHERRIFF BRACKETT Hey! I want the two of you, to get down along the riverbank, and begin searching. Make sure you have your flashlights and your weapons, and if you come across either of their bodies. Put some extra bullets in them. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Sherriff, what about Laurie? SHERRIFF BRACKETT She'll be fine, we know where they Are. We just need to find them! Get to it! The SHERRIFF starts his car, and pulls away. CUT TO: SCENE #18 NAP TIME (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - LAURIE'S ROOM - DARK - NIGHT - THUNDERSTORM: LAURIE's room as she is still sitting up in her bed, with her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs, with her slightly rocking back and forth, visibly worried. The NURSE then enters with a small cup of water and some pills in her hand. NURSE It's OK Laurie! There is nothing to worry about. The Sherriff wants you to get some sleep. I need you to take these pills, for me. LAURIE NO! I don't need any god damn pills, I've had plenty of sleep! NURSE Laurie I'm serious, there is nothing to worry about. I overheard on the Deputy’s radios, they got both of them, they already took the Deputies that was here, to the scene. The NURSE reaches out her hand with the pills. NURSE Come on LAURIE, take them! LAURIE No, I'm not Dammit ! NURSE I'm not asking you Laurie! If you don't take them, I'm coming back with two big guys, and I'm going to give you a shot, and then you won't wake up until tomorrow afternoon. So what's it going to be? LAURIE with a defiant look, glances up. the NURSE places the pills in LAURIE's hand, who throws them in her mouth. The NURSE hands her the cup of water. NURSE Now! I want to see you swallow, and take a drink. LAURIE complies! NURSE NOW! I want you to open your mouth and lift your tongue! The NURSE looks in LAURIE's mouth. Nurse NOW! Was that so hard? LAURIE! NOW! Get some sleep, everything will be fine. The NURSE then turns to exit the room and just before leaving as she shuts the door she quietly says. NURSE NUT JOB! LAURIE, still looking defiant, removes the PILLS from the top corner of her mouth and tosses them in the trash. LAURIE Everything won't be fine! The scene FADES OUT on LAURIE looking angry. FADE OUT: |
A little ways left to go, I probably won't post more without some feedback and hear some opinions if you're curious or able to keep up where the story's at.
If you've read all the way through and want to know how it all ends or where it's leading. Create an account and Private Message me. |
SCENE #19 OFFICER'S DOWN FADE IN: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - RIVERBANKS - WITHIN THE WOODS - LOOKING OUT ON RIVER: TRACKING SHOT from within the woods, behind a few nicely spread out trees, looking out onto the river. Showing a couple of POLICE BOATS, moving with the shot on both sides of the river, shining their spot lights in the water and on the banks. The shot then ends as the BOAT closest to the CAMERA, shines its LIGHT in the CAMERA, which causes the screen to get bright. CUT TO: (EXT.) HADDONFIELD - DEPUTY1'S VEHICLE - SLOWLY PATROLLING ROAD - RIVERBANK/WOODEN AREA - NIGHT - STORMING: Begins with a bright light SHINING in the CAMERA from a POLICE CAR. With the CAMERA LOCATED within the woods, between the road and river. DEPUTY ANDREWS who is shining the bright search light, moves it to reveal the scene, showing the POLICE CAR up on the road, slowly patrolling. You then hear the SOUNDS of TWIGS BREAKING, as if something is in the woods. With the CAMERA stationary as the DEPUTIES, slowly drive out of scene, still moving the search light around. CUT TO: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - DEPUTY SCHLAGEL'S VEHICLE - SLOWLY PATROLLING ROAD - RIVERBANK/WOODEN AREA - NIGHT - STORMING: Begins inside the VEHICLE with DEPUTY SCHLAGEL driving and DEPUTY ANDREWS moving the spotlight, shining it in the woods. Who are both, showing their frustration. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL We need to get ahold of the Sherriff, and call it a night! How long have we been out here? DEPUTY ANDREWS looks at his watch, with a long exhale. DEPUTY ANDREWS I agree with you there! Right now, it's 4 o'clock! It’s been almost an hour out here! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL An 18 hour day, right after a 16 hour day, not to healthy for you! They better hope they're dead, cause if I find them. I'll kill'em! We're not going to find them anyway out here. With all the rain we got, the river as high as it is, plus that current. Their bodies are probably 20, 25 miles downriver, by now! DEPUTY ANDREWS shines the spotlight, something moves. DEPUTY ANDREWS Hey hold up! I think I saw something. Pull Over! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Are you kidding me? Now we got to get out, in this shit? I'm just drying off. How about I stay here, and you go check it out! DEPUTY ANDREWS Suck it up. We got a job to do! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL There is nowhere to pull over. I think I should stay with the car. DEPUTY ANDREWS You’re not getting out of it that easy. Just flip the lights on. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Fine! It then shows a shot of the car stopping with a squeal. CUT TO: (EXT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - RIVERBANKS/WOODS - NIGHT - STORMING: P.O.V. from within the woods of DEPUTY ANDREWS and DEPUTY SCHLAGEL approaching from the road, with their flashlights shining through the rain. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL I think you're seeing things buddy! We've just been up to long. DEPUTY ANDREWS You just hope I'm seeing things. That's what I think, It is! P.O.V. shows a BABY DEER run through the shot, within the woods breaking some twigs along its way. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL What the hell was that? DEPUTY ANDREWS I don't know! But I think, we should split up. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Really! Because to me, that sounds like a horrible idea, right know. The DEPUTIES enter the woods, drawing their GUNS. DEPUTY ANDREWS Come on! It will get done faster. You go that way, and I'll head this way. We'll go about 100 yards each way, and if we don't find anything. We'll call it a night. Sound good? DEPUTY SCHLAGEL FINE! Shows a shot of two men heading in opposite directions. TRACKING SHOT of DEPUTY SCHLAGEL's feet stepping over branches that CRACKLE under his feet, walking left to right. The CAMERA PANS up to his FACE, out of nowhere a BABY DEER jumps CLOSE by frightening DEPUTY SCHLAGEL DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Holy shit! Damn it Bambi, you scared the shit out of me. Suddenly DEPUTY SCHLAGEL, HEARS the ECHO of two GUN SHOTS and DEPUTY ANDREWS SCREAM off in the distance! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL Shit! DEPUTY SCHLAGEL immediately begins rushing towards the SCREAM. (again the audience won't know, who is who. But I will say, to make it easier.) CLOSE UP of JAKES LEFT HAND, with the HUGE CUT on it from the KNIFE that went through it. As he's restraining DEPUTY ANDREWS’s arm that has the GUN. You HEAR CRUSHING of BONES as if JAKE is squeezing. The CAMERA PANS back to show the whole scene, and JAKES other hand on the CHIN of DEPUTY ANDREWS. DEPUTY ANDREWS NO! NO! PLEASE! DEPUTY ANDREWS flails at the over powering figure, uselessly being man handled, who slowly begins leading DEPUTY ANDREWS backwards onto a large splintered piece of timber. That slowly starts to go into his back, as DEPUTY ANDREWS begins spitting blood out of his mouth. The TIMBER finally reaches the front of DEPUTY ANDREWS chest with a small impression, beginning to show on his STERNUM from the inside. JAKE then quickly applies force, as the TIMBER bursts through towards the screen. It immediately shows DEPUTY SCHLAGEL rushing through the woods, He suddenly stops, as he sees the bloody scene. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL looks to see JAKE turn his head towards him, who is still standing over the top of his IMPALED PARTNER. |
DEPUTY SCHLAGEL panics and begins running towards the road, he grabs his RADIO from his belt, while shooting back towards JAKE, as he begins reporting. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL (radio) He's not dead! At least one of them are still alive. ANDREWS is dead, and I could use some assistance. I'm on route 410, right by the river. Hurry, don't know how long I can out run him. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL exits the tree line and stumbles looking back, quickly regaining his barring’s, as he reaches the ditch, just before the road. He continues looking back. But he does it one to many times. Right as he reaches the road and in the headlights of the POLICE CAR. He hits a brick wall. MICHAEL catches him by his THROAT and lifts him off the ground, as it shows the full body VIEW of both in the headlights of the vehicle, with DEPUTY SCHLAGEL 5 inches off the ground, as steam comes off the road with the rain coming down. DEPUTY SCHLAGEL begins GURGLING as if his wind pipe is being crushed, he begins spitting up blood. MICHAEL cocks his head, as he then slowly slides the DEPUTY's BATON from its holster. MICHAEL flips it, to where he is holding the long end, and with a swift CAMERA ACTION, he swings the BATON overhand sticking the HANDLE in DEPUTY SCHLAGEL's skull. MICHAEL drops the DEPUTY's body, that crumples to the ground. SLOW MOTION begins with MICHAEL walking towards the CAMERA, that's still in the middle of the road looking at the scene from a distance. Suddenly MICHAEL FADES away. Suddenly POLICE CARS FADE IN the background, approaching in the distance up the road with their lights flashing. It then SKIPS to the CARS that were approaching, now parked behind DEPUTY SCHLAGEL's vehicle, with SHERRIFF BRACKETT, in SLOW MOTION pacing over the DEPUTY's body, with his hands on his head. The headlights of the vehicle seem to get brighter and envelope the whole screen. When the screen becomes extremely bright it then FADES to black, and SHERRIFF BRACKETT speaks up, over the black screen. (just want it to seem like a dramatic time lapse.) SHERRIFF BRACKETT (V.O) We know where he's heading! All units to the hospital NOW! FADE OUT: SCENE #20: LIGHTS OUT FADE IN: (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - LAURIE'S ROOM - DARK - NIGHT - STORMING: P.O.V. looking out the one window in LAURIE's room, with the SOUND of the TV playing. A bright flash of lightning out the window, quickly followed by a loud clap of thunder. LAURIE nervously bites her nails, as there is another bright flash of lightning. Suddenly the power goes out, shutting off the TV and it gets extremely dark followed by the loud thunder, this startles LAURIE. Suddenly a backup generator kicks on, only lighting a few select devices in the building that was already pretty dark to begin with! LAURIE panics and gets to her feet, she knows something is wrong. She begins lumbering towards the door, she reaches for the door knob and slowly begins twisting it, and cautiously peeks out the door. CUT TO: |
To me the ending makes the story ROCK, I seen a few other forums where people said they don't like certain endings. That I know won't like this ending.
MAYBE they would the one that ends it forever. BUT the other ending I did because even with ZOMBIES ending you kind of had to do something special, to MAKE it all link together and back to the original overall story. I tried to make it as fun as I could while still doing that, since 3D is a kind of FUN EXPERIENCE, and new to some people. I could give a little more, but not sure if I'll go all the way to the end, because, unless they are already shooting it. I do believe it has potential, with a more experienced writers help and input and more character development/dialogue help. I do like a few lines in here. Love the DAMN IT BAMBI line. and the USE THE BALLS YOU WERE GIVEN AND GET THIS DONE line. Probably my two favorite, but there is probably more I'm just not thinking of. I tend to like the small humor lines more, as I would put my personality type in the trickster category. I wrote it more as a FAN wanting to have a good time, and have an ending that could get it back on track or into an understanding for some of the younger fans so they might want to follow the series into 4 and even go back and watch the classics so they also will still make sense. Which Death do you really want to see the most, and would you want to see this on the screen? I would boldly predict that if they shot this, marketed it like Freddy vs. Jason and release it in the summer around the same time, it would have simular BOX OFFICE#'s. That's my PITCH, hard to walk away from 130,000,000 worldwide. :D |
(INT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - POWER OUT - NIGHT - STORMING: P.O.V. of the extremely dark hallway focused on LAURIE's door as she cautiously pokes her head out, looking both ways, in the background it shows a door with a lit up EXIT SIGN above it, as if it's a stairwell. LAURIE comes out and cautiously heads away from the stairwell towards the CAMERA. It then shows a shot of her feet as she almost tip toes down the hall slowly, barefoot. TRACKING SHOT over her shoulder, following her as she walks, approaching the center area where the NURSES, monitor the area. Before reaching it, something startles LAURIE, she sees a SHADOW of the NURSE, who is sitting down appearing to be filling out paperwork, and a SHADOW of what appears to be MICHAEL standing behind her. LAURIE terrified slowly peeks around the corner seeing the NURSE, come into view first who is working at what looks like a reception counter, and then just a plain old coat rack with a doctor’s coat on it, and a hat that's casting a shadow on the wall. Relieved LAURIE slowly comes around the corner approaching the NURSE, who looks up and gets startled. NURSE LAURIE! what are you doing? Why are you not asleep? LAURIE What's going on? Why is nobody acting like anything is wrong? NURSE Laurie! It's just the storm. It knocked the power out. You didn’t take the pills, did you? LAURIE No, I didn’t! I knew something like this would happen! NURSE Laurie! There is nothing wrong. The Sherriff said earlier, they have them both. You have nothing to worry about. I promise! LAURIE How do you know that? Have you talked to the Sherriff, since then. NURSE No, I haven’t! But trust me! There is nothing you need to worry about. Just go back to your room and get some sleep. LAURIE complies and begins slowly heading back to her room, looking down at the ground. BACKWARDS TRACKING SHOT in front of LAURIE showing her and the dark hallway behind her, as she slowly walks. Suddenly you see MICHAEL behind her down the hall. In SLOW MOTION LAURIE turns her head, and sees him with a scream, she begins running down the hall in the other direction. The NURSE stands to her feet and looks in LAURIE's direction, oblivious to the MICHAEL coming her way. NURSE LAURIE, What is it? What is wrong? The NURSE looks back, but it is too late. MICHAEL reaches over the counter, grabs the NURSE by her pony tail, and pulls her head to the edge of the counter, with her head just hanging over the edge struggling. He lifts his butcher KNIFE. Just as LAURIE looks back, the NURSE screams. MICHAEL lowers the blade quickly decapitating the NURSE. It then shows LAURIE screaming and running for the stairwell at the other end of the hall. That also shows MICHAEL in the background, holding the NURSE's decapitated head, by its pony tail at his side. LAURIE bursts through the door, into the stairwell. CUT TO: SCENE #21 MY BROTHERS KEEPER (INT.) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - STAIRWELL - POWER OUT - NIGHT - STORMING: LAURIE bursts through the door and clashes into the rail terrified, she looks over the rail, and down the stairwell, a few floors down sees another terrifying sight, as JAKE is slowly ascending the stairs, towards her. Like a horrible NIGHTMARE, she shouts. LAURIE NO! NO! GOD, NO! LAURIE, realizing her only way out or hope is UP. She runs up the stairs, but realizes, she was already on the top floor, as she runs into the door that leads to the roof, that's locked. She begins fearing she is trapped, and looks over at a fire extinguisher that's next to the door and begins beating the lock, until it releases. LAURIE Come on! Come on! PLEASE! The lock brakes, LAURIE then runs out to the rooftop and into the storm, just as JAKE reached the stairs below her, with no sight of the MICHAEL yet. CUT TO: (EXT.) (X) HADDONFIELD - PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - ROOFTOP - NIGHT - STORMING: LAURIE frantically bursts from the stairwell door, out onto the roof and into the storm. She begins looking for another way down and out of this trap. She sees another door on the on the other side of the building that leads into another stairwell. LAURIE rushes over to it, but it's locked, from the inside. Defeated she gives up and begins accepting her fate, she cries. Suddenly the door she exited, is flung open violently, JAKE comes walking out onto the roof. LAURIE shrieks, covers her mouth and crawls down behind a ventilation system, peeking over, as JAKE is getting closer, as he searches the rooftop. She hunkers down, against the ventilation duct, with her hand over her mouth, now behind her on the other side of the ventilation duct, JAKE walks into view. Just as he is getting closer and about to find her, :eek: |
This Time I mean it when I say I probably won't publically post more.
But would still appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Since I have only got one secretive vote so far. Anything what so ever you say I will not take personally. Might defend something, but I want fans opinions as I am one myself, and just people who can feel in situations in movies. Please Share! If you don't want to critique it, you can atleast say if you would want to see it, If it has a meaningful ending. I can tell you gullible fans hearts will sink at the end, then be revived, and emotional rollercoaster at the end if any of the characters mean anything to you. |
I'll be nice and atleast post their final confrontation, to the victor go the spoils (LAURIE), but won't post the resolution to the story. Just as he is getting closer and about to find her, MICHAEL grabs JAKE's shoulder and tosses him to his back violently. JAKE gets back to his feet. Showing both figures, standing immediately opposite of each other, glaring into each other’s souls again, the final fight ensues, to the victor goes the spoils. LAURIE in fear just looks on, as they are in between her and the exit into the stairwell. The two engage in an epic fight, beating each other mercilessly, this comes to a climax with MICHAEL losing his KNIFE. After losing his KNIFE he grabs JAKE holding him in a bear hug lifting him off the ground, you HEAR the crushing sounds as if his back is breaking. JAKE places his left hand behind MICHAEL's head and drives his KNIFE directly into the center of MICHAEL's chest, which weakens him, and begins releasing his grip. JAKE begins softly lowering MICHAEL's body to the ground. It shows a CLOSE UP of JAKE's HAND, that's on the back of MICHAEL's head, revealing the large cut from the previous fight. After the fight JAKE stands to his feet, and has now heard LAURIE react to the final stabbing. JAKE turns to look at her, and LAURIE knows she has been found, she comes out from the hiding spot. LAURIE MICHAEL! Is that you, MICHAEL? There is a slight pause and then shows a CLOSE UP of JAKE. Who then ominously shakes his head NO three times, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT (slowly). LAURIE screams and out of nowhere MICHAEL is standing behind, what the audience will now finally know, is JAKE. MICHAEL rips the KNIFE painfully from his chest. MICHAEL reaches up and grabs an ELECTRICAL CORD ripping it from one end. MICHAEL quickly wraps it around JAKE's neck, and then violently, sticks the KNIFE he ripped from his chest, into the top of JAKES HEAD up to the handle. MICHAEL tosses JAKE's body off the side of the building, who hangs by his neck, with the KNIFE, still stuck in his head, as he bounces off the side of the building, resting against it. MICHAEL weakened by his stab wound drops to his knees, and slowly gets back to his feet staggering. LAURIE's demeanor changes, she seems concerned for MICHAEL, like she doesn’t want him to die, she slowly approaches him. LAURIE Michael, I love you! Why can't you talk to me, and tell me what you want? Or anyone for that matter? Instead of killing people to make your point. People are forgiving, Michael. And I forgive You! Just as LAURIE is within close proximity of MICHAEL and finishes her last line, as if he was playing possum, in his weakened state on one knee. He lunges for LAURIE and wraps her in his arms. She struggles to get away, as MICHAEL just calmly looks into her eyes, as she struggles. LAURIE eventually realizes it's useless to struggle, she can't escape his strength. And just as you see the acceptance in her eyes, she looks into MICHAEL's eyes.:eek: Now that's seriously the last you get! I know I said that before, but I REALLY REALLY mean it this time. LOL:D Be blunt in a PRIVATE MESSAGE about how you feel about the route I went, if you made it this far. That's where it will stay if you don't want it on here, PUBLIC. |
Wow.......!
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good points and questionable points
*I know Laurie doesn't die, but she is in a real bind. I felt the rug yanked out from under me at the end of that last post. The end to the script left me feeling as though I was standing over an abyss. Very suspenseful.
*Some good "deaths".......I think the "wood splinter" death would look awesome in 3D....the eyeball projectile, wasn't that done in Friday the 13th 3 in 3D? *"horny girl" definitely has to be taken out, maybe in a separate scene where she tries to escape. *I almost think this could be Michael Myers vs. Cops. There's a lot of cops. Not a bad thing per se since Michael is the main attraction but they are kind of interchangeable. *More to come. Need to sit down and think about this. |
I love the fact you say you felt like you were standing over the abyss, that's exactly where I was when I wrote it.
Your either gonna hate me, or love me after the next part. Reading the Worst Endings sections. I seen alot of people that will not like it. But for me and the way it ties it back to H2 and resolves some issues into H4, I like it! I will say I hate particular endings, but as I wrote this, it wouldn't stop coming out. And it feels right, someone else for sure can add to these parts, I have other ideas for the ending. But it feels like it's right. The next action you will be like NO WAY! Hate it! And by the End hopefully you will be like OK. I like it, majority of the people watching it, will feel exactly what I described up above, I believe. I don't know about the DEATH with the eye ball, thought it was a first when I wrote it. But the splintered timber, I DO REMEMBER from a JASON kill. I can't remember which one though. BECKY'S DEATH the BONESAW makes it awesome. The YOUNG MAN, and the GAS PUMP coming right into his EYE and then setting it to pump, I love it I think majority of FANS will root for michael with GAS PRICES the way they are and HIM and that HUMMER of his.:D TEENAGER1 and the BONG with it going up into his brain and the smoke coming out his nostrils, GENIUS I know.:D, JAKES death excitingly powerful classic MICHAEL! Like the CLERKS death with or without pulling the trigger. I like them all!:D The one kill of MICHAELS that always stuck with me when I was young, was in the AMBULANCE. When he put his thumb in the EMT'S forehead I believe, showing his strength. I think I used that for inspiration on all of of my deaths!:confused: http://thehorrorbooth.files.wordpres...ot2l.jpg?w=640 |
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