Break Up
 

So me and my girlfriend just broke up, really badly. I was really in love with her. She was the first girl i felt anything for after my ex (the mother of my child) basically destroyed me. I know this is starting to sound pretty whiny but i'm just wondering what everyone here does to feel better after a break up because this really sucks and i want to get better.

Make sure they never find the body!

Haha thanks Ferox. That actually made me laugh.

Get some friends together, go out and catch a show or a movie or something. Go make a good memory or two to counteract this emotional break-up. It's too tempting to sit around and stew in all that negativity, but that will just make it worse. Go out and have a good time.

Thanks Fortunato. I might just do that.

Sorry to hear that
I agree with fortunato

Definetly go out with some good friends and can make you laugh and cheer you up. Good friends always manage to have that power :)

Horror movie marathon. Last House on the Left.

I can't offer any advice since I haven't had a relationship in 10 years

Sorry to hear that. You seem like a really nice guy.

The only advice I can give is try to keep busy. It makes the time go faster and speeds up healing. I know that sounds corny, but it's true.

In the past I would get a few beers in me and go on the quest for the next ex-Mrs Elvis_Christ :D

But yeah basically go have some fun and find a few activities to keep you mind off it all. As much as it sucks you won't feel shitty forever and you'll come to realise you're better off without them.

Thanks everybody. I went and hung out with a friend and i feel much better now. It really helps knowing that you all took the time to write something. It really makes me feel like you all care so thanks again.

It sounds impossible

You gotta look at all the good things in your life. Being single can be lonely and depressing but it's a great time for reflection and learning yourself. Change is a great thing.

I don't recommend self destruction, drinking, smoking, drugs, self pity. It does no good in life. You won't feel better in the end.

And remember, it's her loss. Not yours.

Sorry, Mr. Villain, that totally sucks.

I have to say that I agree with J here:

For me, the best thing was to hang out with friends - Try to avoid being alone (because my mind would unravel and ultimately torture me)...

Try finding something that will absolutely engage you... If reading can capture you, sit and read and jump into a book (maybe something that's completely fantasy or out there to remove you from this world)... Or have movie marathons... I recommend getting out of the house, even if it's to go over to someone else's to watch movies and etc.

I absolutely agree with Mr. K too:

I would try to drown my unhappiness with booze, which ultimately lead to me doing, uhm, things that I would regret (sexy-things) - Sometimes this helps people get over it, but for me it just made me feel empty.

Just find what works for you to get your mind off her and moving in a positive direction.

Forward movement is key. Try not to sit around and be still. Not as easy as it sounds, but that's the biggest key in my mind.

Working out might help too - Sometimes you can just exhaust yourself, but you feel good afterwards - Gives you a feeling of accomplishment.

Good luck moving on villain I hope you can find peace of mind-I always watch my fave horror movies when down-I find them uplifting-so whatever you can do to keep busy as everyone has said should help you. Keep your mind occupied so you don't dwell and stay well. Best of luck to you :)

That sucks man. I'm going through the same thing myself right now. All I do is try to keep myself busy and hope for the best. I'm not very good and giving advice right now.

:eek:

Daaayyyyyyuuuuuuuummmmm

:p

Thanks again everybody. It sucks but i'm moving on and i know its for the best.

i agree with kasper, drinking can just make things worse in the long run, we all loose things in life we love but time is a healer. just remember when you are going through bad times the good times are round the corner, just take this time to find yourself.

Just don't do what I do and sit around and listen to sad music and get even more depressed.

Yeah i've made mistakes like that before during break ups so im not gonna do that now. Went out and hung out with a friend and now im watching a movie. I'm just gonna focus on myself and every day things will get a little better.

At least you dont still have to see her every day. Be thankful for that.

LOL@'sexy-things'

Yeah thats true. I'm guessing you have to see your ex everyday? That really sucks. I went through that with my last ex who is the mother of my child. So i have to still see her all the time but we actually get along now. Just dealt with a lot of drama from the most recent ex today so that was really bad but i'm feeling really good about things and ready to move on with my life.

Maybe you should make use of the chainsaw?

Far too loud. Need a nice hammer or something.

Yeah have to see her at work. Don't ever get involved with a co-worker. It always ends badly.

That'll work nicely

Yup made that mistake before

Sorry to hear about this mate. It is tough to lose someone (for whatever reason you lose them). Even if you know that things aren't right, you are used to having them in your life and it takes some adjustment to feel OK without them.

It is a process of grief really, and that takes time. Not that you can't do things to make that go more smoothly/easily.

But a breakup usually means that things haven't been going well (for at least one of you) for some time (unless of course there was a really big single thing that led to the breakup). Sometimes it is best that the breakup occurs when it does than for both of you to try and pretend that things are fine. It certainly doesn't become any easier if the breakup occurs later rather than sooner. People can try to "sort things out", get counselling, etc - but for that to work both parties need to be really invested in making it work, otherwise it is unlikely to be successful.

Moving on can be difficult and painful. But it is not likely to be as difficult and painful forever as it is now. Give yourself some time to work through it, and do some things that you enjoy with people that you enjoy being with. In time you will be ready to move on, and who knows - perhaps a wonderful relationship is around the corner somewhere, yet to be imagined.

Anyway, good luck with it all.

Its been hard but i'm doing better. Thanks for the support and advice.

Enjoy being single, take it as an opprotunity to learn more about your looking for in a woman. After all, how can you hope to better know or figure it out unless you try different types?

Avoid psychadelic drugs (only half joking).

If she has facebook, twitter, or any of that stuff, avoid checking her profiles and consider de-friending her on said sites.