Archelon Ranch and Murderland 2 are available now
 

Two days. Two book releases. I am tired, but very pumped. Archelon Ranch, which I'm very proud of came out yesterday. If you like Transmetropolitan, the Fifth Element and Naked Lunch, you ought to be into this one. Here's where to find info: http://legumeman.com/archelonranch.html Anything I could tell you would just be repeating the back cover. This book is completely stark raving mad.
Here it is on Amazon:http://www.amazon.com/Archelon-Ranch...4045406&sr=1-1

Spectacular cover art by my friend, Jude Coulter-Pultz: http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/n...Ranch-Matt.jpg
But, a few of you might be more interested in my other news. Finally, after a very long wait, the second volume of the Murderland series, Murderland 2:Life During Wartime is now available.
You can check out an excerpt here:
The series only gets crazier as Jeremy takes on a(nother) secret identity, squares off against The Voice and joins forces with Inscrutability Jones, the pimpin' King of the Connecticut Underworld. It's bigger, badder and bloodier than the first.
http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/n...1wUOI3hl6L.jpg

You can get it on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Murderland-II-...4183282&sr=1-1
You can get discount signed copies of these at my blog: http://thegarrettcook.blogspot.com
And you can also find out about my next book Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective. That's all the news and sales I'm doing til the next book. Hope I haven't inconvenienced anyone, I just know that this is stuff my friends at HDC will enjoy.

Bad timing for me. October being thin on cash for be because of running 3 radio stations instead of one. I'll be ordering signed copies as soon as I can though!

Awesome news, Doc.

It's been very cool and very hectic. I really stepped up my game with these two.

Awesome news! Congrats man!

I might not be ordering right away either...this whole college thing is destroying my wallet. But rest assured: I'll be ordering 'em as soon as I manage to get some cash flow going!

Totally understood, and thanks for your congratulations. If you'd like to help a brother out and if you've got the time to put up an Amazon review or tell a few friends, that'd be greatly appreciated and a big help too.

Got mine on order, Doc. Been looking forward to this.

Thanks a lot!

Wonderful news. And two awesome kickass covers too! Hope they help in rocketing the sales of both books.

All the best, Doc. I ll still keep an eye out at all the bookstores near me for a copy of either of em.

Archelon Ranch, come to daddy........................

I think you need to buy a giant van and start Amazon India out of the back of it. You'll make a killing. If they can't send you guys books, they can't send you a summons.

Tell me about it. :mad:

Until midnight, October 3rd, you can get a PDF of Murderland part 1:h8 for a dollar at my blog. You click the button, I send email you the pdf., you get to read the book. First twenty people to get this will be sent a Halloween haiku from my Funclub chapbook.

Just wanted to update you guys on some stuff.
First up, here's what will be on the back cover of Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective:
“In a city ridden with prostitute furries, cannibal cops and warehouse-sized mob bosses, I’ve got my work cut out for me. My name is Jimmy Plush. I’m a private detective. I’m also a teddy bear. It all started when the original Jimmy Plush entered my life, offering to take my gambling debts away if I agreed to switch bodies with him. But I didn’t know that being a three-foot-high plush toy would be such a living hell, especially now that everyone in town wants a piece of me. All I’ve gotten out of this deal is a faithful Chinese chauffeur, a custom teddybear .45, and a girlfriend who won’t take off the fox suit she turns tricks in. Now I’ve got to keep this town clean and try to track down the real Jimmy Plush without losing my stuffing for good. Only one thing is for sure: Life is hard when you’re soft.

Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective is a high octane pulp satire. In the tradition of Sam Spade, The Shadow, Dick Tracy, Hellboy and Howard the Duck comes a new kind of hero, a hero that reminds us that the measure of a man is in his guts and his gun.”
I'm taking preorders for a no frills ten dollar edition and a more expensive signed, numbered Limited Edition that also comes with a chapbook containing the character's origin story and about a one in twenty chance to win a special handsewn Jimmy Plush teddy bear. I'm only taking these preorders until October 12th, which is a week from Monday.

i got spam from Amazon today saying some book called Murderland 2 was available. (because they remembered i bought #1 from them)

so i told tem to FUCK OFF !!!!

Justifiably so. What's up with those guys? And thanks for picking up h8. Hope you enjoy(ed) it.

I got the same notice too- and I thought it was pretty darn cool. I think it's great you don't have to be a best-selling author to get the weight of Amazon's promotional machine behind you. I sincerely hope it results in some sales for the estimed Doc.

I just convinced my landlord that he shouldn't raise my rent this Winter, so I might be able to order the book soon, and if I get it soon enough, maybe I'll read a teaser on the air during my live shows this year.

i'll be grabbing the second one too.


(you know i was joking about the FUCK OFF !!........ right ?)

I'm ready to buy H8:Part 2, but I can't tell where the hell on your blog to click to get an autographed copy....

There's a box on the right that says bibliography. Scroll down it until you see the Paypal button. All copies purchased off my site are signed, save for conventional Jimmy Plush preorders. And thank you for pointing that out.

Of course. And I'm glad to hear you're picking up the second one. This one is selling really slowly for some reason.

Done!



...............................

Thanks for ordering!

Just bumping this to remind anyone who might be interested that I stop selling these preorders and signed copies on Monday. I think a lot of you would really like Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective. (Especially Zero and crabapple). It's weird, crass, sexually deviant and full of splatstick. Archelon Ranch will also appeal to a lot of who like Donnie Darko, David Cronenberg, David Lynch and William Burroughs. These three new books are weirder and gorier than ever and I think many of you at HDC can dig it.

Preorders close tomorrow night. To add some incentive, the first person to get a Limited Edition Jimmy Plush preorder gets a free copy of Archelon Ranch. To add more incentive, here's an excerpt from the teddy bear detective's violent, madcap adventures:

So I checked out Muffinhead Howard's on the docks. I was a bear hellbent on finding his girl and this was where my shifty pseudochinese archnemesis had sent me. It was about what I expected, blackjack games, crap games, poor lighting, a guy in a cougar suit taking wagers on a wrestling match between two dwarves and a monitor lizard. As I was putting twenty on the lizard, the man behind the bar caught sight of me. It should have been hard to tell, him being the aptly named proprietor of Muffinhead Howard's and therefore having a muffin for a head (unless two of those blueberries happened to be his eyes)but the shotgun the way he stroked his shotgun like it was his manhood and Veronica Lake had just walked in to dry off her angora sweater was kind of a giveaway. I'd have to tread lightly here...who the hell am I kidding? No, I wouldn't.
I scanned the room for Bulgy O' Toole and the Ritz Brothers. Siamese twins, one dead, one a vaudevillian with a penchant for lime green suits and a guy with eyes the size of baseballs didn't take me long to pinpoint. It didn't take Bulgy long to pinpoint me either. With those eyes, why would it?
"Don't you know you're unwelcome here?" he tried to splash his drink on me, but was a poor judge of distance and missed me by a couple inches.
"Come on, if I only went where I was welcome, I'd be cooped up in my office all week and what fun would that be?"
"That would suit us just fine," said Spanky Ritz, the putrescent half of the team. He didn't stink half as bad as his brother's ventriloquism.
I jumped on their table, took aim and shot Muffinhead Howard before he could cock his shotgun. I didn't like the idea of my guts inside of four different pillows, thank you very much. There were crumbs and blueberry ink everywhere and the blackjack game stopped for a whole ten seconds.
Bulgy laughed nervously.
"You think that scares me, Plush?"
"It scares me," said Spanky Ritz.
His brother slapped him.
"Shut up, this is serious!"
Spanky blew a surprisingly convincing raspberry at his living sibling.
"You know, dad never loved you!"
"You shut up!"
Growing tired of sibling rivalry, I reunited the act with my custom teddy bear .45, which I then fired at the ceiling to get the bar's attention.
Bulgy vomited on himself. Then sat up and tried to act tough again.
"I'm not scared, Plush! I'm not telling you nothing!"
I ignored him.
"Anybody here eating spaghetti?" I yelled.
A nervous little man brought me a plate, heaping with sauce and meatballs.
Bulgy laughed. Nervously. The only way a guy being interrogated like this could laugh.
"Trying to bribe me with food? It won't work."
I picked up a fork off the table, jammed it into one of Bulgy's big fat eyeballs and yanked hard. It was not a pretty sight, but luckily for Bulgy he only caught it from the left. I took the fork with Bulgy's fat right eye on it and twirled it around in the spaghetti. I pointed my gun at Bulgy's face as I moved the fork toward his mouth.
"Eat up, have a nice juicy meatball."
Realizing he wasn't ever going to get the eye back in and a moment of degrading and nauseating himself again was better than being dead, he agreed and began enjoying the worst mouthful of spaghetti he'd ever eaten. I waited until he was finished before gestutring toward his left eye with the fork.
"Unless you want seconds, you're gonna talk. I wanna know why the cops broke the deal with Halperin, I wanna know what's under that giant black cloth and I sure as hell wanna know where the hell they took my girl. You'd better talk fast. That empty eye socket's really disgusting...
You want it. The regular preorder is only ten bucks. The cost of a movie ticket. The Limited Edition preorder which comes signed and numbered with an origin story, a chapter of Murderland 3 sent to your emial and a chance to win a Jimmy Plush teddy bear hand sewn with love by my girlfriend who is really goddamn good at sewing things and for the first one to do it, a copy of Archelon Ranch. You've got until tomorrow night, people.

CONGRATULATIONS, DOC!!!

My finances are COMPLETELY depleted at the moment, but hopefully I will be able to afford these in the New Year (and you know I'm not just BSing you). I'll let you know as soon as I pick them up. Been meaning to rebuy Murderland Part I anyway; I gave my copy to a friend of mine. :D

Congratulations regardless - can't wait to pick them up!!

Picked up Murderland II & Archelon Ranch from the post office this morning. They delivered a note saying they had arrived but the postie forgot to write down where we could collect them from! Stiil they're here now.

Cheers, Doc.

Glad they arrived so fast! I sent them out this Tuesday because my box of Life During Wartimes didn't come until last Saturday.
Also, there's some new reviews of Murderland part 1 up for those that might be on the fence about getting into the series:
Fatally Yours: http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-...-garrett-cook/
and Withersin:
http://www.withersin.com/review_murderland.htm
Also, there's three Archelon Ranch reviews up on the Amazon page:
http://www.amazon.com/Archelon-Ranch...5811218&sr=1-1

The esteemed Doc has been mysteriously silent about his latest offering here at HDC.

I'm half way through his new book, Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective, and let me tell you, it's the best thing he's written!

Witty, exciting, engrossing- a darkly funny twist on Noir fiction that I'm sure many here would enjoy. The price is a STEAL!

I know Doc has a lot of fans here, so let's show our love- and get a darn good read at the same time!

http://www.amazon.com/Jimmy-Plush-Te...9380790&sr=1-1