The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
 

Do you think we all grow up and turn into our parents?I have people starting to tell me that i'm more like my mom everyday,not that its bad....we just hate hearing it i guess.So,do you think its like a never ending cycle?Daughters grow up to be their moms and sons like their fathers??I'm also wondering because my exs father did the exact thing to his wife that my husband has done to me.Children learn what they live,is that the reason?How do you break the chain?I want my children to be great partners,parents,and to have their own identity.What do you think?:confused:

Without work, most people do seem to turn out like their parents. My dad broke from what his dad did (cheated on my grandmother, divorced her, moved on without the kids, but knowing my grandmother, I dont blame him....), and I have changed from what he was (horribly short tempered, but "a lot of talk and a badge". he talks big but never does anything), I try really hard to do as I say, and I have written my family off successfully (Something he never was able to do, but wanted to BAD).

Bree has done everything she can to be the mother she never had. My mother in law is great now (although really irresponsible for a 50+ woman), but Bree grew up knowing she was an accident and that her birth father never wanted her, until she grew up and became hot, then he cared, which is REALLY creepy. Plus, her mother fed her for just about every occasion and reason, so she has had to battle with her weight her entire life. She made sure that she made a baby with someone who wanted one (me :D), we waited until we were married (a big deal to her), and we dont make a big deal out of food with Lily, but we make sure that she enjoys it.


its awesome, we are teaching her to appreciate food; when she eats chocolate, (Bree taught her this), rather than shoving it in her mouth, she sniffs it, then takes a bite, closes her eyes while she chews it, then swallows (rinse, repeat). Most 2 year olds dont have a very developed palate ;)

i'm absolutely nothing like my parents.

my father is a somewhat shy/withdrawn person with extremely limited interests..

my mother is a phoney manipulative 2-faced $*&%&

if anything i became the opposite of both of them in every possible way.

my son on the other hand is a complete combination of my wife and I.

Somewhere out there, we all knew urge and I would be the first two to respond to this :)

the dysfunctional boys :)

In this case, the apple fell miles away from the tree.

The real source of the "most men hate women" thread emerges

hardly ... i love women ...

(given my past i could easily be one of those guys - but i'm not)

the real source comes from having my eyes and ears open

It all depends on the kid. I have two brother in laws, one is JUST like his dad and the other couldn't be more different. I don't know why we always try to explain things so simply, does it make an issue easier to deal with if you can blame somebody other than the person who screwed up? It always seems like we're trying to blame society, the parents, video games, music, movies, etc... It's simple really, some (I happen to think most) people suck.

No, I think this is Neverending's Cycle.

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...dingscycle.jpg

i feel the same way - but it's still a grey issue.

i think the people who fall into negative patters are weak .. but who's fault is it that they are weak ? they lost the genetic lottery and had no choice ?

most of the times i feel the way you do - other times i feel that people are the way they are because they have no choice (no choice because they dont have the mental capacity - strength to change)


i used to get pissed off at lazy people (well, i still do) but then i wonder if they dont have a choice .. maybe they arent equipped to recognize or change the way they are.


i'm just glad i was fortunate enough to be able to realize i did have a choice and was capable of making it.

I don't know Maggie.

I think it depends on the individual.
I knew a household so fucked up, I was amazed anybody got anything done around there.
2 of the girls grew up and became very successful.
One has a chance at a somewhat ok life if he stays in therapy, and the other one wouldn't surprise me to hear she OD's one day soon.

Teach your girls to be strong and give your boy(s?) tons of unfiltered affection, allow them the freedom to fall but kiss the boo boos:)
I am convinced the mother/son bond is important to creating a good man.
Girls are built different, we survive the most harsh enviroments and can still be ok.

Tell your girls that they have the whole world to explore and there are so many amazing things to see, and to allow no one to tell them they CAN'T.

Yeah, no man ever comes up from adversity and makes something of himself. :rolleyes:

My brother in-laws lost their mom when they were very young and both are coming along just fine.





I agree with you on some points there Urge, well put. I do believe we tend to try and rationalize bad things people do because we don't want to actually believe that there are bad people out there. Too many excuses get made...

[QUOTE=Despare;738785]Yeah, no man ever comes up from adversity and makes something of himself. :rolleyes:

QUOTE]

I was thinking more along the lines of when children are physically and sexually abused- females usually have a better chance of not becoming a serial killer.

[quote=novakru;738789]A lot of that comes from the fact that women are fundamentally nurturers and men are fundamentally killers. estrogen is basically cuddely (with exceptions as we all know :)) and testosterone is one step away from violent psychosis.

So when women are completely screwed up, they will often become sluts, trying to fill their void with unfulfilling attention. Men, well, kill things.

ther eis also the fact that by and large, it seems women can suppress, or even not have sexual urges, where men generally have a need for sex. Serial killing is a form of sexual deviance. If you watch dexter, pay attention to his reaction when he kills sometimes. Lil' Chino is the best example, he hadnt killed in weeks and when he finally did, he got an ecstatic release from it.



Basically, the same abuse that can create a serial killer out of a man can create a porn star out of a woman.

That is calssic. :)

Reminds me of the Hell Knight ShankS image i did and "Pinchy Jack" for any of you who remember stingy jack. I'll see if i can dig them up :)

And who could forget...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ule/vodWOK.jpg

VODWOK

I feel better now:)I was just having these horrible thoughts about my sons becoming their dad.Thanks guys for the input,i was kinda after a mans opinion...and thanks Nova:)

Don't worry about that happening... My dad did a lot of bad things, things I haven't repeated and couldn't ever see myself doing.

Sometimes you learn from your parents what NOT to do


Dustin's parents are drug addicts, permanently dependent on welfare (I still advocate drug-testing for welfare recipients)...He grew up seeing a lot of violence, shady characters and all sorts of illegal activity in his home...He very rarely ever speaks to his parents (fortunately, they live 6 hours away)

Dustin decided that he would never have a life like that...He doesn't even drink alcohol...He works his ass off to provide for us

My mother is a very strong, hard-working woman who taught me and my sister very well...However, my sister is a spoiled-rotten bitch who no one can stand...I appreciate what I have and I am the complete opposite of my sister (who I avoid like the plague)

My daughter (Seri) just became Supervisor this week at Citibank...She had her one-year anniversary there last week, and she just turned 20 years-old last month...She's the youngest supervisor there...I'm very proud of her...Her father makes good money but he wastes it all and doesn't pay his bills...Seri has been on her own for 2 years, and she's doing extremely well


In short, you can grow up to be whoever and whatever you choose to be...Despite what you've grown up with :)

EDIT: WHOOPS, wrong account...I was taking out spammers and their spam :o