Happy birthday chuck!
 

chuck norris turns 68 today. can you believe that? 68.
bring on the norris jokes

Happy B-Day
 

...Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushs the ground down.

Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs.

In a game of Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do no pass go, you do not collect 200 dollars, you'll be lucky to get out of the whole ordeal alive.

68? No shit?

Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms because there is no auch thing as protection from Chuck Norris

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard

YEAH - chuck norris is so tough he doesn't take the bus. . . uhm. . . no. . . no bus for chuck . . . he takes a cab . . . yeah. . . and then they don't even charge him or anything. . . in fact he charges them. . . yeah. . . that's how tough chuck is. . . .yeah. . . .

*groan*......this is why monkeys don't do stand-up.

http://www.joystiq.com/media/2006/02...nmaskedjoy.jpg

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

no - we don't stand up- we hang from trees with our tails and fling POOH at people like you (who obviously can't appreciate our subtle and stunning humorous flourishes!)

Before the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

those actually made me laugh - congrats

Its a common misconception that Chuck Norris has a chin hidden under his beard, when infact, its another fist.

Chuck Norris has developed his own martial art which consists souly of roundhouse kicks.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

there is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris as allowed to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.He decides what time it is.