Zero VS ItsAlive75
 

I'm just waitin' on you, you chump... er, chimp.

OH YEAH.......this is what i'm talking about....my money is on IA75.
I know for sure that Bwind is betting on the chimp.

just what I need to take my mind off my troubles - someone else's troubles!

Get him Zero, angry chimp beats Bruce Lee every time!!!!!!

My money's on the monkey!

I've got next match!

I don't know...remember when that chimp kicked Bruce Lee's ass.In that case, I pick myself.:D








YOUR GOING DOWN BROTHER!!!!!!!!

First of all, no one gets next match... this is an epic battle between Zero and myself, although it seems that he's too busy with his all male phone-sex hotline 1-900-SUK-COCK.

I'll check back later.

Alrighty then!I vote for....wait,i'll just come back and see who's winning then ill vote then!

well..
becos i think your both fuckin crazy anyways..em betting on both of you. :D

LOL...I'm betting on both of them to be completely goofy :D




I WIN!!!!


http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l2...k_2/woohoo.gif




Yeah...I stole your 'Woo Hoo'...You want some o' this?...huh?...HUH?


Heh...Did anyone else hear Bruce Campbell there?

IN THIS CORNER WE HAVE IT'S ALIVE 75
WEIGHING IN AT ........ HELL I DON'T KNOW








IN THIS CORNER WE HAVE ZERO
AKA "THA MONKEY MAN"


OK GUYS LET'S MAKE THIS A CLEAN FIGHT!


LMAO!!!! LET'S GET IT ON:cool:

winner takes on Uwe Boll?

excused my tardiness. . . i was busy combing my sperm out of IA's mother's back-hair. . . which, to be totally honest, was a huge task. IA, my man, you should probably borrow someone's lawnmower and hack some of that stuff down.

as for a battle of wits between me and Iowa's 'finest' (and i say that with all the utter contempt and disrespect it deserves), well. . .

i could have a more invigorating debate with a wet kleenex.

i could have a more challenging battle of wits with a slightly moldy eggplant.

to be honest, i think IA is at his best when he's hitting on underage HDC members (which would be illegal except in Iowa it is required by state law) or when he's just randomly typing obscenities.

indeed, after all that inbreeding, i'm just impressed he can type anything at all - of course, it must be difficult to wipe up all his drool from the keyboard, but hell, his mom has to do something in between my charitable visits.

and if you think IA is going to even be competition to me. . . well you'd better cut back on the hooch old man because your last few brain cells are starting to fizzle.

Wazzit youse r taking boot..........fuking minkey.......whas mu beer.....moduerfuker...KIK HES ASS AE74

http://images.scotsman.com/2006/08/1...-UK-GIBSON.jpg

gid dammit. SHUT UP

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shut up shut up

Sorry it took so long to reply everybody, I was busy talking to a girl my age instead of masturbating to her from a distance like Zero.

Zero, you and my mom hooked up? Good for you, cuz she's a single lady... I'm happy you two found each other. It's good to see you OLD people still being able to have functioning relationships and sex lives... y'know, while you still can. After that your body starts shutting down, and you can see your own dilapidated, withered existence... start thinking about all the mistakes you made in your life, all the great things that passed you by... then the mind goes, and you don't really know anything anymore. Than you die. So good luck being happy with someone before you grow wrinkled, depressed and senile (which... is pretty soon, isn't it Zero?)

As for talking to wet kleenexes and eggplants, I always thought only crazy people did that. So good luck debating inanimate objects I guess...

And yes, you're totally right about the drooling in the keyboard thing. I'm trying really hard to fix that actually, but it's hard........ because your wife's porn website is just so fucking HOT. Seriously, the movie where she takes it in the ass from those two drugged-up horses was brilliant. I didn't have enough energy left to look at the one where she's getting scalded with hot buckets of water while she masturbates, it was too much. (She... she may need some serious help, Zero...)

So I'm gonna go off and drink with my friends on a Friday night. Good luck paying bills, watching TV or typin' on the ol' internet alone (cuz your wife's some sort of super-violent porn again.)

Youse tel em AI77.........FARGING APEBOUY

http://bestsmileys.com/beatup/1.gif

I'm having sex with a manufactured hole in both of your dead, dug-up grandparents right now.

It's oily.

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

very nice comeback.

first round - scores anyone?

Seems pretty tight, but the whole scalding porn might throw my vote toward the young 'un

BRUCE cant be beaten!!!!!
JACAAAAA

Believe it or not there is a whole thread on this.

http://www.horror.com/forum/showthre...vs+angry+chimp


Tough to call the first round.....we may need some impartial judges.

Zero--sperm in mom's backhair.

IA75--wife horse banging.

I'd call the first round for Zero by a hair, because the "old" reference in defense of mom was a tad on the lame side compared to spermy back hair. Mom insults count for more points than wife insults. Kind of like paper-rock-scissors. Pretty close match so far though.

JMO.

I'm pretty new to this, and I don't anything about what took place before.
Opening Paragraph: I thought that Zero's opening was better than IA's. IA's first paragraph wasn't too funny, while Zero's opening paragraph was great with the whole mom and backhair thing. Winner : Zero

Second Paragraph: I also liked the Iowa reference in the second paragraph. He managed to incoporate his home state into the joke, while IA's second paragraph went after his old age. I don't know how old Zero is, but it was kinda lame. Winner : Zero

On the third portion: I have to agree with IA. The whole debate with inanimate objects was not good. I think wet kleenexs go well with strength insults, not intellegence insults. The moldy eggplant, while descriptive, didn't work either. Winner : IA

Fourth Paragraph: The whole wife thing was me cringe more than laugh. I think the whole beastiality and scalding masturbation crossed the unfunny line for ME. I don't know about anyone else. At the same time I thought the whole hitting on underage HDC members was kinda lame, although you tied it in nicely with the Iowa insult again. Winner : Draw

Closing paragraph: Going out to drink with my friends is pretty unimpressive. I mean anyone of age can go out drinking with his/her friends. I mean what else is there to do in Iowa (sorry I hate driving through that state, not as much as Nebraska though). Also the whole paying bills, watching TV, or typin on the internet alone was stating things everyone does. Most adults pay bills, watch TV, and surf the internet alone(I don't like having someone looking over my shoulder). Anyways, sometimes I would rather stay home with my significant other and watch movies on a Friday night, then get drunk with my friends. As for Zero, I thought the inbreeding and ability to type insult was a nice close, and he also managed to bring his mom into it again. I like how you tied it into previous insults. Although IA also did tie it in with the whole violent wife porn at the end too. (Although that joke didn't work for me originally so it was less effective). Winner: Zero


Overall winner this round:

Zero

I'll agree that Zero's insults were better than IA75 - mom insults do score better - but no monkey pics to back them up....disappointing :(

So i'm gonna call this round......


DRAW

oh junior. . . let's get a few things clear here.

First, ordering from the waitress at Denny's does not constitue a romantic exchange with a "girl your own age." She's only talking to you because she gets PAID TO DO SO (you'll understand this when you're mom finally kicks you out of the house - oh, give her my best by the way). If she smiles at you or gives a half fake-laugh to your stupid comment, its BECAUSE SHE WANTS A TIP.

Though, in fairness, having seen your picture, you should probably get used to the idea of paying to interact with women.

As for getting older, well it does happen. Once you enter puberty you'll get a better sense of how the body changes (watch out, eventually you'll get 'hair down there!' - this may scare you at first, but whatever you do DON'T TRY TO PLUCK THEM. . . you might grab the wrong thing and end whatever unlikely sexual opportunities you may eventually run into).

Going crazy talking to inanimate objects am I? Well, you could be right. . . i must be crazy if I'm wasting my valuable time trading barbs with someone who spends most of his time watching beastiality porn on the internet - but more on that later. In all honesty, the kleenex was, indeed, funnier than you and the eggplant, though now covered in mold, was far more interesting.

So, you were watching my wife on the internet (in all fairness, i've never been married. . . but i'll roll with it). Funny how the guy who was busy "talking to girls" instead of "masturbating at a distance" ends up back with Rosy and her Five Sisters. . . I guess the Denny's manager threw you out after he saw what your hand was doing under the table. Of course, I can understand your interest in human- animal sexual relations - being from Iowa your only real chance for losing your virginity is finding a farmer willing to pimp out his horse. But don't worry IA - I'm a romantic at heart and I'm firmly convinced that somewhere out there is a big horse-schlong meant just for you. And, as for my wife, she assures me that the horses were small stakes after sex with me! (and don't worry you'll understand once that whole puberty thing kicks in).

And, while you're munching on your left over Grand Slam Breakfast just remember, one day once you've finished racking up student loans and sucking off your momma's ample bosom (oh, and they are ample - trust me on that - hairy, yes, but ample as well), you're going to have to enter the real world and make enough money to pay for your own internet porn charges and horse feed.

Yaay...monkey pic...think that constitutes a WIN




:D

This is the funniest shit I've seen in months.

Let me just start by saying that the best jokes have a thematic element that run throughout them, something that ties them all together. You can tell when you're going up against a brilliant guy because he uses that technique. And let me say to YOU Zero, making Denny's jokes throughout your ENTIRE barrage of insults... mwa! Perfection! Larry the Cable Guy would be proud of you...

And I will say again, YES if you talk to inanimate objects you ARE A CRAZY PERSON. No more joking, if you thought that talking to Kleenex was more enjoyable than talking to a person that deems you as crazy.

Never married? Really? Shit, I gave you too much credit...

And it's true, Iowa does suck... you're right about that. Man, a midwest college town full of 18-21year old girls. Did you know we were ranked #1 out of schools in terms of having girls in Playboy? I... I can't think of a Denny's joke for that, but I still like the sound of it. How many young attractive girls are you surrounded by every day of your life? And NO, your cum-caked magazine cutouts of hentai girls don't count as beautiful women (much like your wife doesn't, apparently).

So, now that this is done, QUICK! Think up another rousing joke-filled tyraid filled with more insults about hair on my mother! Oh, and throw in some insults about the town I live in but wasn't born in (thereby removing me from feeling "burned"). Hell, you could tie em' all together with some Steak N' Shake comments, or a couple NASCAR quips.

Git r' done, Zero!

Bruce Lee would demolish the angry chimp.



That is all.

hmm - IA - the phrase "water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink" comes to mind as I think of you surrounded by college girls. And let's be absolutely clear, when women stare at you and shake their heads, avert their eyes and shudder slightly, or just say "ewww" in your presence - they are NOT interested in anything except your absence.

So, as you get off of the short yellow bus, take off your head-gear and adjust your retainer, I'd like to recommend a few classes that might help you in your later life. First, consider a course in "witty banter" or even "humorous insults" because - to be perfectly honest - I'd need a magnifying glass to find the 'funny' in your last post (ok, in fairness, there was plenty of "funny-sad" but very little "funny- ha ha"). Second, you might consider a course in "when to know that your ass has been thoroughly kicked" because . . . well, let's just say you could use that insight right about now. Third, "personal hygiene," because well, let's just be honest, you could use a good disinfecting.

As for Larry the Cable Guy, well he's not exactly my cup of tea. Of course I obviously didn't learn the art of trading barbs in the same place you did (which apparently was either a third-grade playground or the parking lot of a Steak 'n Shake). Seriously, is your next 'witty' response going to be "Uhn Uhn" or "I know you are but what am I?" Or, perhaps some more stinging remarks about the place you were actually born (EARTH TO IA: NO ONE CARES!). In fact, your NASCAR reference is appropriate - because I feel like I'm Dale Earnhart Jr racing a second grader on his Big Wheel at the moment and to be perfectly honest i'm getting bored lapping your pathetic ass.

So I think its probably time for you to get off the big-boy track, put your retainer back in your mouth and go cry to your hirsute mama. . . oh, and next time you want to engage in a battle of wits, I'd recommend you practice on my Kleenex first.

Well, I think this all leads to an interesting question; just what IS funny? Let's backtrack...

Zero has called my mother an extremely hairy woman, yet he seems willing (even eager) to put his lips on her breasts as WELL as ejaculate on her back hair. I refrain from making a fetish joke because I don't think such a fetish exists yet.

He's also said I hang out at Denny's or something, I honestly didn't understand that part... but even third graders on a playground would have to stop and stare at a group of insults like those.

Now come the retard jokes. I've always considered those to be the last gasp, maybe right before calling me a "fag". These "rips" of your seem to be regressing to the very type of argument you said you were trying to avoid, that of the juvenile. So either you're trying to dumb your jokes down to meet my so called "playground" humor, or your tank is just running empty.

But I'm going to use my time right now to addresss a different issue... a serious one. All this time, the entire time we've known Zero, he's had a strange obsession with monkeys. Monkeys as avatars, monkey pictures, monkey jokes... they're not even placed with subtlety, they're just always there. This coming from the man who claimed I was dick-deep in bestiality, by the way (at least a horse would have a big dick, why would you want a little monkey penis). So I was curious as to whether Zero's lack of a wife at his age is not so much due to the fact that he's a 30-something loser computer nerd, but that he just prefers monkey pussy? Perhaps he's spent all of his back-packing time going to different countries and fucking different types of monkeys; small monkeys, large monkeys, howlers and spiders and marmosets, great apes, orangutans and the like... I would make a joke about AIDS spreading because of Zero fucking monkeys then people, but I honestly don't think Zero's done the latter.

-------------------------------------------------------------

And on THAT note, Zero and I close up our August Arguments... yes, that's the end of Zero VS ItsAlive. We'd like to thank everybody for sticking around and enjoying our childishness.

Take a bow, Zero... don't pull a muscle.:D

"thank you very much thank you very much"

(for the record, IA and I don't hate each other. . . I feel too sorry for him to hate him, i'd call it pity. And the really pathetic part is that IA is just jealous that he's not a 30 something computer nerd making fun of someone else's mother. . . but don't worry my boy, one day you'll cut that apron string (or is that a tangle of hair?? - not sure) and get out there and pay for your own beer, your own internet porn, your own prostitutes, and if you are very, very luck. . . one day you'll grow your very own little monkey penis.)

as for me and my monkey-ass I say:

Thanks for the fun guys, you both should take a bow :D

personally i think the funniest comment was Newb's reference to Mel Gibson. . . and the funniest post has to be the monkey/dog video from pressure. . . i'm just glad IA and I could do our part to make this place slightly less boring

oh, an IA's mother has agreed to enter a nearby hair removal outreach program.

kudos guys.....your both very entertaining and its posters like you that keep me coming back.........and the occasional boob shot.


what....hammmerfan hasen't pmed anybody else boob shots?





:D