A Little Sexism...Just For Fun
 

~The Perfect Couple~



Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.


One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.


Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.


There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.


Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident.


Only one of them survived the accident.


Question: Who was the survivor?










Answer:


The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!






**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.





**** Men keep scrolling.














So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.







**** Men Keep scrolling













By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen!

LOL


Nice to see a women with self-irony.;) :D

LOL good one:D

Haha that was an alltogether very funny joke. But, hey. I'm perfect.

That reminds me, the difference between women and men:-


* Women can't keep secrets... men by comparison are very sneaky


* Women, however, can hold in a fart... men can't

































Therefore, if you want a woman to keep a secret......









































Whisper it up her arse

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”

The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

Hehe, that was good... :)


How's this for a blonde joke?


A blonde walks into a building.

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?





A brunette with bad breath.

A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open. The police goes over and tell her" excuse me do you know your blouse is open. The blonde screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS."

hahahaha

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right “tools” she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

This time, quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, “Is that you, Lord?”

The voice answered, “NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.”

hee hee hee

HaHa...I'm passing that one along to everyone I know...They'll BOTH get a kick out of it... :D

You know, quite aside from these being "blond" jokes, all these jokes are pretty funny and clever!

Especially the "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE" one.

I like the "So a Blonde walks into a building" one...

The genius is in the simplicity. :)

This one isn't so great... but it's the only one I can remember right now:

Q: Why do blondes stick their heads out of moving cars?




A: To get a refill.

Here's a blonde joke a learned a few years back.

A blonde, brunette, and a red head are taking a walk together. After a while of talking, the red head see's something. She says "Oh my God, a dead bird!" The blonde looks up into the sky and says "Where?"

Corny, but it was the only one I could think of right now.

This might not be as funny as i thought, but here goes


Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?


A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

...LMAO!!!;) :D