Monogamy Unrealistic?
 

Just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are regarding the comments Kate Hudson made in this article....just kinda sat with me the wrong way...seems to me like she's sending kind of a wrong/bad message at the end of the article? R/O...

Kate Hudson says monogamy is tricky business – but she's still faithful to her hubby.

The Almost Famous Oscar nominee, hot on the promotional trail for her new thriller, The Skeleton Key, opines that marital fidelity isn't practical – though some folks can pull it off.

"I don't believe (monogamy) is realistic," Hudson, 26, tells TV's Access Hollywood. "But, I believe that we, as people, have the power to make it happen."

Hudson – who married Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson on Dec. 31, 2000, and welcomed their son, Ryder, Jan. 7, 2004 – was quick to add: "I will not disrespect my husband and stray."

Asked if she believes Robinson has remained true to her, Hudson answered: "If you focus your attention on that, then you are always wondering if your husband or men are out there cheating on you. ... If for some reason, that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know. As long as things are good in our house, just please, don't get caught."

I'm a firm believer in monogamy. However, there are people who have difficulty with it (my ex for one). I believe if you get married, or make some kind of commitment (handfasting for example) to someone, they should be the only one for you.

I feel the same way TM. I understand that there are many people out there who have a problem committing to only one person..and that's fine. However, once you decide to make a vow to somebody and marry them, you should respect them and stay faithful to them.
If you know that you can't, you have no business getting married.

I'll also add that it just seems like she's giving him total permission to cheat...the fact that she's just like "Well, as long as I don't know what's going on, I don't care" it's like...WTF? ;)

I have never cheated on anyone myself, if I feel like I'm straying from the person, I just cut it off. But I have left one relationship to persure another before. I HAVE been cheated on once, and I did stay with the guy for almost 2 years after that. Was I pissed? Of course...Was I hurt? Fuck yes I was...Did I hate him? NO...he was my boyfreind, not my husband.
People do the dating/courting thing for a reason...for most it's to find that ONE person. I have been in a few situations where I was with someone for a few years, thought they were that person, and it wasn't til after one of us strayed to someone else that we realized things weren't as great as we thought...and thank christ it happened that way, or I would have stayed in some pretty fucked up relationships. I can't say cheating is right in any way...as I've said, I break it off before it goes to that, but I can only REALLY expect monogamy from the person I marry...That's when it becomes a real issue, until then, I won't let anyone's foolin' around ruin my life. If they find someone they'd rather be with while they're with me, I know I'll find someone 100x better to me than they ever were.

Point is...if it's a boyfriend cheating on me, it sucks, but I can move on. If I ever do get married, that's a different story.

I am a firm believer in monogamy. I won't have it any other way. If I get married I really hope that I would remain faithful. If my husband isn't, he's out the door. Likewise, if I'm married to someone, and Goddess forbid someone else comes along. I hope that I will be up front with my husband and either try couselling or seperation BEFORE carrying on with some extramarital affair.

My analysis of Kate's comments

1. Chris is cheating or has been, and he's gotten her snowed into believing it's okay.

2. Kate was a little to immature emotionally and intellectually to get married.

3. They have an open marriage.

Either way, that little boy is going to be the one to pay for her stupidity.

I've been in one open-ended relationship where we both could see other people while we together. But all that happened was she found someone and I didn't.

It's always easier for the girls...

I could not agree more.

Although I will say that for the male species it can be quite difficult at times, but that is really no excuse.

If me and my lady decide to call it quits one day then thats that. None of this sneaking around bullshit.

And I have a policy. Goes like this, I catch my lady with another guy, girl or whatever. The interloper gets asked one question. Did you know that she was involved in a serious relationship??

Answer NO get out of here and dont let me see your face again.

Answer Yes, prepare to reap the whirlwind my friend. Especially if its a guy. Its disrespectful and I aint having it.

if i catch my wife with another girl, i'd have one question :

Can I join in, and if not, can i watch ?


i guess thats really 2 questions ..

so lemme get this strait......Your girl would be in the clear? I mean SHE'S the one with you, not him.

:D that sucks dude! and your right its way easier for girls to find someone. Guys manage fuck it up 9/10 times.

Monogamy is pretty important to me.... I don't see the point being with someone otherwise. I've been fucked over in the past and trust is very important to me these days.

Well for every girl there's 10 guys who wanna "court" her. They can afford to be picky.

I hear what you're saying, monogamy once was meaningful to me, until when my last girlfriend and I broke up, she told me she slept with her ex-boyfriend like, 3 days after we got together. So now I'm rather lenient on the whole "one gal for me" thing.

That'd be awesome..... I'd be too greedy if I was girl :p

Yeah... greedy bitches always wantin' more...

LMAO!!! :p

Monagamy is important to me as well; been cheated on before and I know how that feels. I would never put someone else through that. And honestly, sex is not a good enough reason for me to hurt someone I love or someone that loves me. If I feel that attraction to someone else (seriously), and I am in a relationship, then it means I need to reconsider that relationship. I would never act upon it.

But it does seem to be hard for many people to commit to one person; it isn't for me. I have always desired that kind of commitment from someone else and have never really had it. Oh well.

:rolleyes: *shakes head*

What a hunnydripper.

Sure you will.....uh-huh.....while trying to talk all the other ladies out of their clothes.....I'm on to you, mister....:p

....... that's terrible :D

You must smell really funny.

He.... he..... gave me the "bad touch" too.

Stay away from him I reckon :p

Looking at Playboy magazine....not infidelity....correct....;) And no, I wouldn't give a damn.

But say for instance, talking your sexy neighbor out of her robe (I have no idea if you have a sexy neighbor or not...I do... hehehe)? Well, something else is bound to happen there so.....:rolleyes:

See you in court Mr Jackson!

:( I feel so...... dirty :(

LMFAO!!:p

Hellboy, you wicked man.....traumatized him for life I bet.....;) I just knew you were up to no good.

Life will never be the same..... :(

God loves a trier :rolleyes:

LOL

:( Poor guy.....need a hug? What am I saying? That physical contact would probably bring back bad memories. How about a cookie?:p

A hug and a cookie would be nice :)

LOL @ Hellboy

Is he always like that Jenna?

Yes I am...I'm cute too....it's a gift and a curse....:p

Oh okay.....*gives Elvis_Christ a hug and a cookie* Better?:p

Always like what?:rolleyes: ;)

I can't help if I'm easy on the eyes and fingers :p

Oops!!:rolleyes: :p Sorry about that....hehehehe....you wanna a hug too? LOL

AHOY my favorite thread pirates...ARRRRRRRR ;)

Um, excuse me?:p I was just trying to comfort him after your violation....;)

Why don't you kids make yourselves useful and come on over to site suggestions/questions....play some HORROR SCRAMBLERS. ;)

That's funny...I got all the butter off of me. And it only took one shower. I guess you're just not scrubbing hard enough! ;):p

If you can find someone who is commited to you, I'd say go with it. If not, then they were likely not for you in the first place. If you feel the need to "change" somthing about them, they are not for you (and vice versa). Masturbate a lot and try not to worry about it too much. People generally suck as a species.
CK

I wouldn't be with someone I felt like I had to change, I just don't understand that mentality....it always leads to trouble. I have a friend that insists on trying to mold every single one of her boyfriends (and she has had a lot of boyfriends) into the type of man she thinks they should be. It always causes her heartache and the man constant aggravation. Sad thing is, I believe her intentions are good.

But you are right, people do suck. Hurts to be that disappointed by someone you love though, even if you realize it is bound to happen. Sometimes to realize that the person isn't the right one you have to go through hell to reach that conclusion....LOL...

You forgot to mention how good the masturbation part is, Jen. Love is never having to say "you sleep on the wet spot tonight" :D
CK

LMFAO!!! Yes, how could I have overlooked such a fine point....:D

Bottom line is, if Mr Right/ Miss Right was so perfect for you in the first place, you'd still be with them. If you're not still with them, guess again who he/she isn't. I always love hearing girlfriends of mine babble on about how great their new boyfriend is and to hear later from them about what an asshole he became. It's not a full moon, ladies, and he didn't suddenly transform like the wolfman. Get a clue LOL
CK

Well, yes, but it doesn't make it hurt any less when it implodes. I mean, you move on and sooner or later you realize that of course. But it takes some time to get there.

And nope, no full moon, but some men (and women) are pretty damn good at pretending they are someone they aren't, at least for awhile. Also, it is really easy to only see the good in the beginning and ignore the bad because, let's be honest, the first little while you both are on your best behavior....lol.....the "bad" part usually comes later. And some people's "bad" can be.....well, really bad...:D

How many men have you been convicted of stalking in the last 3 years, Jen ? LOL Seriously, I alwaysput all my faults up front so there are no "surprises" later on. I think if more people did that up front, they'd likely find the person they've been looking for rather than wasting time with all the BS.
CK