The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Alright...
This is sooooo crazy, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. If it offends/bothers any of you...I apologize...however...it's 2 AM, so here goes.

Why do girls pretend that they don't fart/$h%t/stink etc? ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and don't even ASK how we got on the subject...but anyway ;)

She was telling me that she's never farted in front of her boyfriend, and that she'll leave his house if she has to take a Sh%t before she'd ever do it at his house...she doesn't want him to KNOW that she does any of these things! They've been together for 3 years, and this just boggles my mind.

I was like...WTF?? I asked her why she cares so much....and she's like "OMG, I would NEVER let him know I do that!!" and I was like..."DON'T YOU THINK HE KNOWS??? It's no SECRET" And she's like "Well, a lady has to have some mystery about her"....;)

This is so ridiculous to me. I can't imagine hiding that stuff...if somebody's going to be grossed out by a girl b/c she farts then that's really their problem. ;) I can understand maybe not doing those types of things in the beginning of a relationship...b/c everyone is on their best behavior...but after 3 years???

Anyone have any thoughts on this? If not, I'll understand ;)

This might sound really weird... but I love girls that fart... no, not all. But farting is always instant comedy.

LMAO. Yeah exactly. If two people love each other, they're not going to care if one of them farts. That's such a stupid thought for her to have.

But yeah...it's just hilarious...maybe if she lightened up and just let one slip it would bring them closer...and get a good laugh ;):p

Perhaps she wants her boyfriend to think she's pure for anal sex on their wedding night.
CK

That is strange behavior especially since they have had 3 years to get comfortable with one another.

What would she be afraid of?

Maybe it's some weird fear?

Is there any phobia of farting?

Yeah, I have NO idea...he seems like a pretty easy going guy to me...has a good sense of humor and all...I highly doubt he'd care. I guess she just has her own hang-ups. It's just not a secret that people fart,etc.

It kills me that she thinks she's "fooling" him ;)

Do you really believe that a girl who won't fart in front of her BF is going to have anal sex? ;):p

Maybe she doesn't want to ruin the illusion for him like this girl did:
http://www.goodlaughter.com/funny/fun/fart.jpg
:D
CK

my bf and i will fight to go to the bathroom. one time he pooed on my leg and tried to hide his dirty boxers under the sink

i dont fart simply cuz i cant control it that well. my cousin can fart, nothing ever big, but im even scared to fart a tiny one on the chance i may follow through

:(

OMG!!!!!! LMAO!:p

ooh ooh how about girls that dont even want they bf to see them without make up?

i had an ex bf with a friend that said she'd wake up early before her bf got up so she could put on make up

there are people like that, maybe not to that extent, but to the extent where they wont even step outside without make up.

Two words for your friend's boyfriend to cure her of her phobia -
DUTCH OVEN
CK

Drives me crazy too. I've known girls who will sleep in their makeup so their husbands don't see them w/o it. There's just something wrong with that, in my opinion...I'm just so opposite of that...it's like take me as I am, or don't take me at all. I'm not going to create an illusion.

There's nothing wrong with putting on make-up and wanting to look nice...but everyone knows you weren't born with make-up on your face...so why try and pretend? BAAAAAAH. Some girls really drive me crazy. It's just so phony.

He pooed on your leg....

ehhhh kinda. i had my leg in his crack and he farted. then he siad 'uh oh' and he ran tot he bathroom

i asked him 'did u poo'
'no'
'why not'
'most of it came out in my pants'

and i got worried cuz i had to go to work, but he sniffed my lega dn there was no poo on it.

LMFAO. That's just RANK ;):p

and this other time, he farted.. so i held the covers on his head, ya know, to dutch oven him.

well he was in there for like 2 minutes so i figured it was one of those unstinky ones.

well i took the covers off and it smelled SOOOO bad. i said 'YOU WERE WALLOWING IN UR OWN FILTH THAT WHOLE TIME?'

he was holding his breath just to use it against me :mad: semi-clever bastard

the gas has gotta come out somewhere..... they'll either talk too much or have to fart :p

Seems like most of them choose to talk too much ;) God forbid they get FOUND OUT...the horror :p

The way I see it is...most guys see a girl or smell her perfume, and thats what most us remember when we think of that girl....I know that's how I am.....I certainly don't wanna be with a chick that just lets 'em RIP....Cause thats all I would ever think of when I thought of her....IMO.
I don't do it in from of women...I think it's direspectful to let a sulfur bomb go in your partner's face....IMO.:)

Well, I don't mean CONSTANTLY ripping them ;) But I mean, after you've been with somebody for a while...I just think you should be comfortable enough around them to be able to do/say anything. There shouldn't be any pretending.

I understand what you're saying...but I think that after a while, you take the person for everything they are. Just b/c they fart in front of you once in a while, doesn't mean you forget how nice they CAN smell ;)

Yea....I agree with that...
LOL....from reading your post...alls I could picture was a hot chick sittin on my couch let'em fly....like she just ate a big can o' beans....LOL...

Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Just hope she doesn't blow one out of her ass while you have your beef log 10 inches deep in her terd tunnel :eek:
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Joels' Journal and Fart Filled Fact Book describes the following... To paraphrase:

The "Girls don't Fart fart"

This is a mean one! It's stinch can peel paint from cars and knock little birds out of their nests. It will singe the hair form your nose. This is one dangerous fart!

Be careful around Women that say they don't fart. If they actually don't, then she is not human, but a walking, talking act of terrorism, because it will...eventually explode!

Three years and she's running off to shit all this time?! She's crazy. My husband and I have only been married for 2 years but we got over that mess of "I don't want them to know I.." within the first 3-6 months of dating! And the things that she should keep a mystery are sexual things, not shitting and farting. Everyone does it, some people do it with the door open and full conversation with someone else in there too! I know some people who get turned on by turds! :( Yuck!

Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Any further and I might hit the terd supply so 10 is all I'll give her :D

LMFAO. I'm so glad I started this thread...it's provided me with a great deal of entertainment ;)

Drac-You kooky bastard! ;) I'm a girl....I won't be sticking 10 inches of anything into anyone's ass. :p

Hellboy-LMAO. Dutch Ovens are the worst, man. NASTY. ;)

Tat2-I agree...they've gotta come out sometime, and when they do....it'll be like a nucleur bomb went off!

Tonica-Agreed as well. Women need to get over the fact that they do things that aren't always "pretty".

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Oh lord. The two of you and your never ending MANHOOD wars;)

Beans are good for you....lots of FIBER :p (FAAAAAAAAAAAAART)

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

LMFAO. I know that you two only do it as a joke you damn FOFO ;)
It's funny.

And...TRUE SEXCAPADES? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH. Nice verbiage for sure:p

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Exactly. You need to have a few years on you to really know how to make a woman cum multiple times. These youngsters will learn there's more than just blowing your load in 2 minutes and then you're out.....:D Patience and experience goes a long way in a woman having multiple, unelievable orgasms....

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

Practice makes perfect.

My ex bf farted while we were fucking. I felt embaressed for him.

did you tell him you were gonna fuck the shit right out of him ?

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

LMFAO...true sexcapades and manhood wars....this is such an entertaining forum....:p

Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Oh and BTW..........I don't fart! hehe :p

Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

YEAH RIGHT! Those who DENY it SUPPLY IT ;)

dude my girlfriend farts on me as a joke and gives me dutch ovens and shit

I bet you love every minute. You probably can't get enough of her funky aroma ;)

Re: Re: Re: The truth shall set you free ;)
 

hehe........you'll never really know will you my dear!? ;) :p :D At least you hope not :eek: