How do you take yours??......
 

How to shower like a Woman:

· Get in shower.
· Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
· Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
· Wash hair again to make sure it's clean.
· Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
· Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, until red.
· Wash entire rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.
· Shave armpits and legs.
· Turn off shower.
· Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Exitmould.
· Get out of shower.
· Dry with towel the size of a small country.
· Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
· Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.
· Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
· If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.

__________________________________________________

How to shower like a Man:

· Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed.
· Leave in a pile.
· Walk naked to the bathroom.
· If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound.
· Look at manly physique in mirror.
· Admire size of knob and scratch your bum.
· Get in the shower.
· Wash your face.
· Wash your armpits.
· Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
· Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
· Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
· Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
· Shampoo hair.
· Make shampoo mohawk.
· Pee.
· Rinse off and get out of shower.
· Partially dry-off.
· Fail to notice water on floor.
· Admire knob size in mirror again.
· Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
· Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
· If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again.
· Throw wet towel on bed.

well ...


there's really not a whole hell of a lot to add to that is there..

That is feindishly insightful. :D

(makes mental note, must start shaking knob at wife while making woo-woo sounds)

In doing so, be prepared for the imminent laughter and snide remarks about cold water.......

"shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound"



thats what my kid does

your kid is rude.... teach him some manners. lol


or does he follow in daddies influencing footsteps??

no, i dont wave it going woo woo ..

i sneak up behind her and whack her with it.

and there she was thinking the neighbours dog was nosing her ass :D

now i feel like i need a shower .. you dirty bugger :D

well dont forget to follow the Shower Guidelines above :D ;)

it has a gaping mistake ..

i like to dry my 'unmentionables' on the drapes.

sayyyyyy
were they the golden rules ?

as in the golden shower rules ? :D :D :D

totoro.. brian... stewie having sexual relations with a pig.. SUCH AWESOME AVATARS!! WOW!

anyways, i use any shampoo, usually helenc urtis type. i dont fall for all that special extract, oatmeal vitamin k crap.

i have 2 kinds of soap i use. i dont use copnditioner cuz u use a leave in afterwards.

i have one of those foot scrubs, and a loofah. thats about it! take me about half an hour cuz i go so slow..

Kristin wash long time eh?

:D its my special time!! i start off wel then i kinda stop paying attention then all of a sudden.. where has the time gone?

i shave and sometimes brush my teeth in there too... :D

is half an hour really that long? neways, im a GIRL

Do you put those little pieces of toilet paper all over your face?:p

nopers. im extra careful :)

Re: How do you take yours??......
 

The Mans Shower................ LMAO!!! :D

MY BATH............ HOT BUBBLE BATH. CANDLES ALL OVER THE PLACE. LIGHTS OFF. GLASS OF WINE. CD Playing a Rainstorm with thunder. NOW THAT's HEAVEN!! ;)

Cream, and just a little bit of sugar. Thanks!

(You people are so friendly here!)

Re: How do you take yours??......
 

sounds like a patrick bateman shower

dont forget the dildo

hahahah lol with the anal probe attachments :D :D

Re: Re: How do you take yours??......
 

hahhahahah

Re: How do you take yours??......
 

LMFAO!!!!!!! :D

ayhahahhahahaha LMFAO!!!!!!!!! :D

I usually take mine naked.........is that normal?

yeah :)

unless you want to save money, and wash your cloths at the same time lol

Ya know that is an awesome fuckin' idea! Why didn't I think of that:confused: