Assuming this is the kind of pie with an actual lemon filling *under* said meringue, I'd go with that.
I prefer standard lemon tarts, but I'd say this would be close.

Just sawing your whole ear off with a scalpel quite slowly then applying purell to the wound.
or
Smashing your little toe flat with a mallet then removing the remains with a hammer and chisel.

Oops, sorry cheebs, i somehow went into edit on your post. Hope I didnt mess that up.

anyway, I'll be sacrificing the ear!

Listen to music you absolutely abhor for an entire day or wear an entire outfit that is scratchy and uncomfortable all day?

I'll take the song.

Eating a whole bag of marshmallows in one sitting Vs wearing a sign on your forehead that reads, "tell me I suck"

I could probably do the marshmallows.

Gingerbread men or mincemeat tarts

Gingerbread, without a doubt. I kind of love it.


Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?

I like the peacefulness of Christmas eve...the calm before the storm, lol.

Mulled wine or alcoholic hot chocolate

Holy crap, the chocolate sounds amazing. I'll have two, please!

Scrooge, starring Alastair Sim VS Scrooged, starring Bill Murray?

Can I say both? I think they're both really good film takes on the story. Seeing one again (obviously) I'd probably go Scrooged. It's funny, and Bill still tugs my heartstrings with his ending TV speech.


This month watch It's a Wonderful Life Vs Miracle on 34th Street (1947)?

Miracle on 34th street . O'Hara!

You'll shut your eye out VS Everytime a bell rings an angel gets his wings?

I don't know it, but just has a ring to it...

Picking up a large slug and rolling it around inside your mouth and swallowing any slime, before returning it safely to the ground.

or

Shooting a shotglass full of unknown piss. warm. Smells like tuna in a can.