i iron my shirts

Your fat wife can't make her way to the ironing board?

I eat pop tarts

im nice.......

Not in bed!

I hate when people have pm's turned off.

i think this forum needs more hot chicks

We can't get hot chicks because omcdave is here!


I make fun of the wrong person in certain threads.

im off tomorrow

was nobody home to air you out..??




i just had 3 cucumber sammies

are they all from the same father?



i feel good

Stop playing with daves butt .






I wish i was an astronaut

so you could visit youranus. hahahahahah:)




when i was seven i played baseball for the pirates.

must have been hard being used as the bat .







i like certain types of insects .

btw..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Especially the ones that make little nesties in your hair.


I like to Bar-B-Q.

it covers up the smell of your house.



i tried out for the army.

...but all those little plastic men and their little plastic suits really FREAKED me out!



I can be gentle.

for twenty dollars






i washed dishes today.

the trash can at mac donalds is not a dishwasher '






i just washed my hair

...on my legs, then braided it.




I love seafood.

you sea food and eat it .









i love raw fish

You love it in the raw baby! :p



I like to pet small furry animals.

i heard you do that too often..you can go blind..be careful :o












i have to wear socks when i sleep'

or your long toe nail's might get tangled in the quilts.




im 5'9

when you wear your "super cool" KISS boots!


I like the rain.

...i can take free showers.



german choclate cake is my favorite.

But you're not supposed to use real Germans in it!


Life is short, enjoy it while you can.

annoy the fuck out of as many ppl possible in the process'









I am stepping out of my comfort zone

all you need is the help of a forklift.





i have a guitar.

'with 3 strings'





i want to learn how to play classical music'

Well you're old enough to fit into the era...


I eat doritos a lot.

it shows ;)


I like the way I head bang.

So do the other men who you give head to.



I enjoy sex.

with sheep


I like my nipples

I watch barnyard porn constantly...
http://www.pasadosafehaven.org/TOURS/SheepLove.jpg


I have strong thighs...

That's what HE said


I have a tight ass (rofl)

Pink spandex looks great on me.




The ladies love me....

Not as much as the men.


I love women.

When they're tied up in my basement.



I'm quite charming...

Your no prince.

I like waffles.

american pie comes to mind ..










i seperate the black jelly babies from the rest