I only saw a few eps of both, as I was getting bored with the family sitcom, after watching way too many before those. Of the two, I'd go Growing Pains, as it had some bite to it. Full House, as I recall, was extremely fluffy. Home Improvement was one of the few I watched in that time period.

Taxi Vs Cheers?

Cheers,
taxi sucks!
exploding vs imploding.

Exploding

Warlocks vs. witches

Witches


Relish or mustard

mustard

corndog vs elephant ear

The ear...had to look it up, but it looks delicious!

Spend the night in:

An abandoned camper in the desert or a deserted cabin in the woods

Camper in the desert.
All ready tried the cabin in the woods. Those damn dryads never shut up!

Using a human head as a
bowling ball or a soccer ball?

If I had to pick...bowling.

Learn knife-throwing or ventriloquism

ventriloquism

play bowling with anglewitch's head
or make 20 lbs of potato salad

20 lbs of potato salad. I love Anglewitch.

Come back as a bird or a fish.