I'm not much into the illegal substances (I prefer imbibing the alcky-holl).

• Object of My Erection
• Hairy Twatter
• Gangbangs of New York
• Pearl Harbor Necklace
• Laying Private Ryan

...

Top 5 reasons to call in sick (besides being actually sick)...

1. You can't remember the last time you got to watch The Price is Right.
2. It's cold outside and your bed is warm.
3. You ran out of coffee and thus work is just not an option.
4. You're hungover....close to being sick, but nevertheless not usually a valid excuse.
5. In order to pull off morning sex and go to work, you would have to wake up an hour earlier.


Top 5 places to go at 3 a.m.

Jail
Emergency Room at hospital
Morgue
Bed
Bed(with someone else)

Top 5 best looking colors on a bird?

• Canary Yellow
• Robin Red
• Bluejay Blue
• Chickadee Brown
• Dodo Dead

Dude. You can do better than that. :p

P.S. Your sig totally freaks me out. Where the HELL are those images from???

...

Top 5 break up songs?

If You See Her Say Hello- Bob Dylan
Jet Boy Jet Girl- the Damned
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You- Led Zeppelin
Every Breath You Take- the Police
Tangled Up in Blue-Bob Dylan

Top five endangered animals?

I've been on an Amtrak for 36 hours. I'm not up to snuff yet! That's Mrs. Joyboy, btw, from the sickest movie you'll ever see about the funeral business, The Loved One. Liberace as an undertaker is worth the watch. Wait for it on DVD.

Silverback Ape
Whales
Rhinos
Pandas
Tigers

Top 5 infections?

Ebola
Cholera
Anthrax
Malaria
Bubonic Plague

Top 5 fictional characters?

John Preston
Drizzt Do'urden
Eric Cartman
Luke Skywalker
Aragorn



Top 5 Halloween Candies

You go all out when it comes to infections. I was thinking along the lines of staff, yeast, etc. :eek:

Arsenic laced Candy Corn
Caramel Apple with double edged razor blade
Snickers Bar with hypodermic needle
Almond Joy with crystal meth
LSD infused fruit cake(also good at Xmas time)

Top 5 ways to inflict psychological pain on your life partner?

1. Repeatedly call them by the wrong name in bed.
2. Make a doll that looks like them and perform physical tortures on the doll.
3. Send yourself flowers/gifts but sign the card from another man/woman.
4. Stop speaking to them and refuse to explain why, driving them crazy as they try to think what they did.
5. While having sex comment on how turned on you are that they resemble your mother/father.


Top 5 ways to get revenge.