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I work with a guy who doesn't bathe. We just had our Team Meeting and his fly was down the whole time. My manager is gutless and won't say anything to him about it.
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Monkeys don't wear pants.
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precisely! |
enough of this monkey business (ha) i win
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My grandfather was struck by lighting and survived. Went to war. One month before hostilities ended, he was wounded in the knee. After being sent home. After recovering from his injury. He went back to work. And was struck by lighting again. He didn't survive. |
one time i found twenty dollars..i spent it on a gallon of ice cream and super nintendo game rentals.
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I find you amazingly sexy. Yes you. No not you, the one over there. Sup? ;)
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I like lamp.
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Whatever happened, to Fay Wray...?
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What happened to Arioch?
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meow
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DIE! DIE! DIEEEEEeEE!
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EXCEPT CLAW YOUR EYES OUT!!!!!!!!!!! |
That cat is freaky looking!
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*licks Zero's ear* ... *while clawing out Sistinas brain through his nose* |
Here - I found your missing apostrophe.
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Ouch.:( . |
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send more para medics...
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Back when i was a young lad. My two elder brothers and i watched a horror movie. I forget what it was called. It was about this female ghost that appeared when ever loud noise was made. Anyway. After the movie. My brothers shut me in the hallways and started banging on the door. screaming that she is coming she is coming. Scared the shit out of me to be honest.
Anyway. There was this old dude who lived on a stock route near our property. We use to drop him off some food etc. Just for the sake of it. Anyway. Mum hadn't seen him for about two weeks. So she told us to drop in on our way to school. To see if he was ok. (he lived in a caravan. (trailer to you Americans.) As we got to his caravan. My brothers went up to the door and knocked on it. With no answer. They kept on knocking, until one of them tried the door. They found it unlocked. They looked in then quickly left the van. They told me to come over. As there was a jar of money on the table if i wanted it. As i approched the door. I could smell probably the worst smell i ever smelled. As i got closer and the smell got stronger. I said nah. And started to back off. but they grabbed me, threw me into the van and shut the door. The old dude. i wont mention his name. Was at his table dead. It looked and smelled like he had been dead for a while. There was this black goo on the table that obviously was from his body. The smell was so bad it was burning my eyes and nose. Then my brothers started to bang on the door and rock the caravan screaming, "He is coming to get you. Here he comes." I wanted to bang on the door and yell to let me out. but i didn't want to make any noise as it might make him come after me. After failing to push my way back through the door. I jumped out the tiny window. Snagging my leg on the latch leaving a deep cut. After running a safe distance from the van. I watched as my brothers went back into the van to grab the jar of old coins. I had to go home. As the smell was all over me. In my clothes my hair, even on my skin. I told them that if they didn't give me the jar of coins i would tell mum. After giving me the coins. I went home and told mum on them. I lol'ed as they got the beating of their life time. Then they told mum about my coins. Then it was their turn to lol as i got a beating for stealing. Anyway. Till this day. I can't stand loud noise. Which is why i have perfect hearing. |
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I got pac man fever.
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We move like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this The way we walk The way we talk The way we stalk The way we kiss We slip through the streets While everyone sleeps Getting bigger and sleeker And wider and brighter We bite and scratch and scream all night Let's go and throw All the songs we know... Into the sea You and me All these years and no one heard I'll show you in spring It's a treacherous thing We missed you hissed the lovecats We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully Wonderfully pretty! Oh you know that I'd do anything for you... We should have each other to tea huh? We should have each other with cream Then curl up by the fire And sleep for awhile It's the grooviest thing It's the perfect dream Into the sea You and me All these years and no one heard I'll show you in spring It's a treacherous thing We missed you hissed the lovecats We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully Wonderfully pretty! Oh you know that I'd do anything for you... We should have each other to dinner huh? We should have each other with cream Then curl up in the fire Get up for awhile It's the grooviest thing It's the perfect dream Hand in hand Is the only way to land And always the right way round Not broken in pieces Like hated little meeces... How could we miss Someone as dumb as this? I love you... let's go... Oh... solid gone... How could we miss Someone as dumb as this? |
http://i558.photobucket.com/albums/s...ys_s4_ep04.jpg
The Green Bastard from parts unknown just declared me the winner...... |
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The Green Bastard would destroy your GreenMan in a wrestling match......
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you fell that? SHITQUAKE! I win Motherfronters
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If there's one thing I hate in this life, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
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I enjoy Satumas...
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enjoy what you will as i bathe in glory
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How would you be used in a post-apocalyptic society?
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I wanna be forever young.
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On the other hand, Ripley was born forever old.
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I realized today, that I have met an abnormal amount of drag queens in the past six months.
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I've come to the conclusion that my boyfriend is a big bitch. Seriously.
We've been dating 3 years - no fucking ring. No asking. No engagement. We've been dating 3 years - I'm 28-years old, relatively attractive and I GET NO FUCKING ACTION. NO ACTION. He doesn't hit on me. At all. I get laid about once every couple of months (if that) and generally only - ONLY if I initiate it. And then on the rare occasion that I hurt his feelings - He gets absolutely enraged and has a fit and has to go somewhere to "cool off." I am currently waiting for him to "cool off" because I made a disparaging remark about him not being able to pay for dinner. Whatever. Get the fuck over it. Yes, it was mean, but I didn't really mean it. And I only said it because he was leaving before the bill even came without a fucking thank you. I'm dating a fucking loser and he doesn't even thank me for dinner. What the fuck????? Seriously. GOD I hate everything. |
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