another fact about my penis: Most of you have seen it, although only in its flaccid state.
http://www.wdob.net/mai/people/chuck...ucknorris1.jpg

So, Sam...

I know a little bit about penises, what from giving copious amounts of head in college... I go for the tip with my tongue while massaging the base with my hand, and occaisionally giving it a tongue tickle.

How can a woman do this to you, if your penis is so gargantuan?

Here's a joke in which you are the star (Belongs in the "Got Wood" thread, but oh well)

Sam walks into a bar and sees a large glass container full of money. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender says that it's five hundred bucks to the person who can make my horse laugh.

Sam goes outside, and before the barkeep knows it, Sam is making the horse laugh. He gets the five hundred bucks.

Two nights later Sam walks into the same bar and sees the same container full of money. He asks the bartender about this and is told that it's for the person who can make his horse cry.

Sam goes out, and the bartender is astonished to see the horse crying. So when Sam comes back he collects the money. The guy behind the bar is curious how Sam did it.

"Well first, to make him laugh, I told him my dick was bigger than his. Then to make him cry, I showed him."

Wow...all this talk about erections is giving me one, just a moment if you would - hold on while I line up the next few blood donors.

If you've ever seen The Santa Clause, you know the answer to your fellatious inquiry

Hah,well not to sound like a dick.....but my penis has it's own National Theme Park....





:D

blood donors? Pfft. I tried using other people's blood, but my penis just broke their necks and made me have sex with the more attractive of their female relatives (granted, I didn't protest much...or at all)

So now I just have a device implanted into my scrotum which gives me 4x the blood I would normally have, 3/4 of which goes to my penis

this is making me horny... did i say that out loud?

he's right. It's called Tiny Timbertown

the roller coasters suck too...

Oh...1 foot and 3 inches is really that small....













God damn horses...