Well, Mrs. Mom - Any advice?


[ok - Snarky comment aside - I honestly would appreciate advice - I know you have daughters]

I need to reach out to my friends/coworkers who have kids around that age and see what they say. I also have a friend who is a social worker and I'm hoping she can give me some insight on how to relate my Little. I also need to stop taking things waaaaaaay to personally.

I totally agree with you - Learning that your actions have consequences is SO IMPORTANT. And I'd imagine that she's totally testing me right now, so if I don't correct it, I'm screwed. It's just hard, because I want to be the "nice guy" but at the same times, she does have some behavioral problems that I think need to be addressed - I just need to learn how to do it positively.

Totally - And that's a good approach. I'll try that next time I see her.


...

And, honestly everyone: I appreciate the advice and feedback. I really want to be a good role model, but I also REALLY need advice on how to set rules and guidelines.

To parents/older siblings/aunts/uncles - Any advice would be super-helpful!

Thanks.

I would repeat what's already been said about controlling how she behaves in public. If she becomes destructive, loud, or generally annoying to other people in a public place I would give one warning and if she doesn't heed it, take her out of there. Kids get bored and/or stressed out pretty easily, and when they do they tend to act out.

Do you have a Dave And Busters or Chuck E Cheese near you? They're arcade style places where you win tickets from the machines and when you're done, you can trade the tickets for little prizes. my kids loved doing that for the longest time (even at the ages of 19 and 16, they'd probably still go:D). The set-up is a little less rigid than a round of golf or bowling so if she decides she's fed up, it's easier to pick up and go.

Sometimes the simplest things are the best. My daughter loved to play board and card games. They can take up as much or as little time as you want and you won't have a scene on your hands if she gets testy.

Don't worry about her liking you. I'm sure she does. She's probably a bit shy and still a little unsure of herself when she's with you. I think after a few more visits, you'll both be more relaxed and used to each other. You can try light topics of conversation. School is normally a good place to start; what she likes, doesn't like, what experiences you had in school at her age etc. If all else fails, there's always movies and video games.

Try asking about her school life? To a kid that age it's such a huge aspect of their being - their friends, their lessons, their teachers etc. Establish some facts and then when you see her the next time you can ask about the specific things that you learned. Gradually you build a picture of her life which you can confidently talk to her about; offer advice, give opinions etc.