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-   -   Forgiving but maybe not Forgetting (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38072)

Leprucky Cougar 11-07-2008 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante'sInferno (Post 754931)
I forgive,depending on what the person did.If they did something horrible it would take me a hell of alot longer to forgive.But,that was how I use to feel.Because,if you hold a grudge chances are your just hurting yourself.Chances are they probably forgot about it and if they didn't why hurt yourself?They are the ones living with what they did to you.Like I said why let it,destroy you,making you into a detached,un-emotional,shell of yourself?That's what I learned.That's why I forgive.Because chances are you did nothing wrong,they were the ones who did it,so they should have to deal with it.Not you.Besides,like I said earlier,you shouldn't let it consume you and destroy you.Because then you would go into a Downward Spiral.


Now onto the forgetting,I don't forget because,you need to learn from these things,and try to avoid it next time,so it doesn't happen to you again.




Sorry,I hope I made sense.


You did. I agree. Holding grudges makes one slowly grow bitter--and if they don't realize it or if someone doesn't help them realize and get out of it--like u said they end up in that downward spiral; unfortunately some people grow extremely bitter and stubborn, refuse the help and wind up in a place far worse then that downward spiral. Everyone has a right to their own healing pace though. Some are faster than others.

jenna26 11-07-2008 01:41 PM

I tend to forgive pretty easily, too easily I guess. I have a really hard time cutting someone out of my life if I see the least little bit of good in them. Forgetting, that's different, like Dante said, you need to learn from your experiences, if you forget, you are leaving yourself open to the exact same thing again and again.

Of course, not cutting someone out of your life can leave you open to that as well. Its happened to me more often then I want to admit. There has to point when sure, you can forgive, but you also have to let go.

There's only one person I haven't been able to forgive that has done me wrong, and I never will be able to. Its not something that is really.....forgivable. Hate doesn't come easy to me, and its destructive, so I have tried to let it go. And I have been able to to a certain extent, I live my life and I try to live it right. So I am not holding a grudge really, I have moved on the best I can and realized it is never going to be made right. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Zero 11-07-2008 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monalisa (Post 754731)
Seriously, you just up and move, like a lot? :eek: I have too ask, how far away do you move? Seven different cities, but how far apart?

Zero, you never cease to amaze and amuse me. :p

texas to missouri to pennsylvania (back to missouri though a different part of the state) london to new york then another part of new york. and really the only place i left without really just wanting to get away from the annoying person/people was london (where i was forced to leave when my visa ran out).

hacelikewhoa 11-07-2008 02:47 PM

I forgive and pretend to forget

Leprucky Cougar 11-09-2008 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero (Post 755357)
texas to missouri to pennsylvania (back to missouri though a different part of the state) london to new york then another part of new york. and really the only place i left without really just wanting to get away from the annoying person/people was london (where i was forced to leave when my visa ran out).

What's your favorite city out of all of them?

Zero 11-09-2008 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprucky Cougar (Post 756258)
What's your favorite city out of all of them?

London - without hesitation my favorite city. i used to walk around the thames on a sunday morning. grab coffee and sit outside the film center where they sold used books - it was glorious. but then my visa ran out and my friends at the home office did not see fit to grant me another extension. so back i went.

Leprucky Cougar 11-09-2008 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero (Post 756267)
London - without hesitation my favorite city. i used to walk around the thames on a sunday morning. grab coffee and sit outside the film center where they sold used books - it was glorious. but then my visa ran out and my friends at the home office did not see fit to grant me another extension. so back i went.

Have you thought about getting another one? So you can go back later.

monalisa 11-09-2008 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zero (Post 756267)
London - without hesitation my favorite city. i used to walk around the thames on a sunday morning. grab coffee and sit outside the film center where they sold used books - it was glorious. but then my visa ran out and my friends at the home office did not see fit to grant me another extension. so back i went.

London sounds wonderful! Good thing you didn't hook up with anyone irritating there! ;) :D


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