Hell, Ellen should be the lesbian heroine: Most everybody loves her adorable look, her humor is clean but funny, she's got her own show, people pity her for the Anne Heche (who looks like an ass now) debacle, she's got a hot girlfriend.

Hey Vod, remember when I was the forum femnazi?:D (Was in training to be a Dianic High Priestess. Gave it up for my own beliefs. Found out that men aren't actually stupid nor are you guys all scum).

Now... to the rest of yous, who in hell is Dane Cook, and why does he suck? Apparently I've been spared.

As for Louis CK... I saw him twice, once on Dr. Katz then on a HBO thing a year ago. He did the same shit on the HBO thing that he did on Dr. Katz, which was, admittedly, pretty damn funny.

"Rise testicles! Rise at my command!"

Finally...

Of course you like Sara Silverman, Murder. You couldn't possibly not like her.:D

this is true. :D

This is Dane Cook. He's a silly bitch and I love him http://youtube.com/watch?v=8rr5c6j9T0w


Here's a less nervous Dane Cook: http://youtube.com/watch?v=A3TnQ16leUE

Ellen Degeneres fucking sucks. Everytime I see her I get the urge to stab myself in the eyes and ears.

Mitch Hedberg. It's such a fucking shame he died. And Jimmy Fallon will probably live to be 118.

Here are some Mitch quotes in his memory:

I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refridgerator, blender....all you do is say what the shiit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shiit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.

I got to write these jokes. So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shit, I had to be somewhere..."

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

Actually I got the Jimmy Fallon Bathroom Wall cd somehwere and even though his comedy isn't that funny he has some GREAT impersonations.

Fallon pisses me off. He always laughs during skits and ruins the whole thing.

I've never seen him do impressions though. Which people does he impersonate?

has got to be ellen....and peter kay....and bill bailey and dylan moran and peter kay......victoria wood......and ellen some more

Amen........

Cliff from Cheers, Adam Sandler... I don't know a whole bunch of people. When he sings the Troll Doll themes as different bands he does a pretty good job too.

Found a short impression of Sandler...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1GUaMdy1Yc

Here's him singing about Trolls as different bands. Well, there's also some idiots lipsyncing along with it for some horrible reason.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CyIdOWRm2g

Wow! That Sandler impression is spot on.

This marks the first time I've ever been entertained by Jimmy Fallon.

And he only laughed once during the entire skit, which is like a new record for him.

It's actually adorable when he only does it once, it's when he laughs at every other line that really pisses me off...