the sacred number is 1111 - but that's already been used. . . i'd wait for 3333!

No, you should start a thread celebrating that 1,000th post much like I did when I hit that young milestone.

Dear IA,

I've had an erection for more than three hours. What should I do? :p

Don't you do it damnit!!! You're too cool to just walk out on us like that!

Jerk the fuck off already.

Dear IA,
I want a cigarette, my sister has them, she is about 40 minutes away, I don't have a vehicle here, and I'm watching two babies under the age of 9 months, what should I do?
Feenin in Misoury

This is an interesting dilemma. Cigarettes are obvious addictions. Its been proven over time that one thing that cures an addiction is another addiction. My advice to you is to try drinking heavily, if there's alcohol in the house. If not try the old fashioned approach and sniff a permanent marker.

LMFAO!!!

Dear IA, (serious question)

My dog isn't the bravest dog (he's a pussy). How do I make him a little bit more brave?

Bravery is a character trait, and sad to say, maybe your dog just isn't brave. Many dog owners have "toughened" their dogs up by showing them a lack of love, reducing their feeding and using physical abuse.

My suggestion to you would be to accept that your dog is a wimp, it sure as hell beats the alternative.

Hell yeah it does! I love my dog! It's just that he's afraid of paper bags, trash cans, bowls (including his own bowl), etc. But, I'll still love him! Thanks for the advice!