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Orphan was great. Imagine a creepy kid theme night with this and The Omen. ::EEK!::
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The Haddonfield Nightmare (2021) ★★★
A pretty enjoyable Halloween-fan*film. Coming to this one as a Friday-fan, i must say that gore was a little disappointing and that the kills could use a bit more variation. The first throat slit looks good, but there are a few too many of those. Nonetheless, it captures the style okay and I liked the nod to the cop kill in part 2. For those interested, here's the link: |
Soulkeeper (2001) ★★½
A horror comedy about two guys looking for a cursed/holy object. One is a generic bland hero and the other a*Dexter-lookalike. A few jokes worked in a Beavis and Butthead-way and it was nice to see small roles for Robert Davi, Brad Dourif and... holy shit, it's*Zeus. Not overall entertaining because it was not over the top funny and too often more of a generic screwball sex*comedy. |
Jason Rising (2021) ★★★
Things you notice on a rewatch: - The fan service is sometimes pretty subtle. You really have to pay attention to notice things like the Higgings Haven sign, the workout on tv. - Other things like the cameo by Adrienne King are less subtle. Also, the first time I did not notice it was really Amy Steel on the phone. - Also, the bit where he hits through the wood in the cabin. Is that supposed to be a nod to Maddie in The New*Blood? One of the better fan films (no coincidence Vincente Desanti was involved), though the headless mother bit and the comic relief keep me from rating it higher. |
DIE HARD 2 (1990). The sequel to the great DH starts out well enough, but eventually and sadly lapses into the ridiculous and cannot be taken seriously. Bruce Willis is as engaging as He was in the original which works as He had serious obstacles to overcome with limited resources and space and really no help. He's all over the place here with lots of extra help and it hampers what could have been a better film. **
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THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS (2016). I really don't care for PIXAR style animation, although I'm sure it keeps costs down and it seems every new film these days has to have the noise level ratchet up; it's distracting. Aside from that, I found the story enjoyable as a pampered pet has to learn to deal with competition. My favorite part is when all the owners in the complex leave and the cavorting begins. As my buddy "The Igster" who had a few dogs as well, pointed out "Who knows WHAT our pets do when We're away?". Indeed-I often wondered what all of my fuzzy children were up to during my absence.
The part that had Me laughing the most is when Max's owner tells Him to "Sit" and Pixie, my YorkiePom mix looked immediately to the TV::big grin::. *** |
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Rose Blood: A Friday the 13th Fan Film (2021) ★★
If the stories about tensions between Lar Park Lincoln and Kevin Spirtas on the set of The new blood were true, then their collaboration here could be a sign that they patched things up. And the In memoriam after the credits came across as sincere and from the heart. So that's a good, beautiful*thing. And sure, some kills look good, even when in a splatstick way. (Over)compensating for the lack of gore in The new*blood. It's just that so much stuff feels shoehorned in. Creighton Duke looks totally out of place. The soldiers feel like an attempt at Aliens ended up with a poor man's version of Alien³, except that Vazquez is now called Sanchez. And then from our of frikking nowhere we get both Kevin Spirtas AND Michael Myers? What the*hell? You can tell the makers love the franchise and the effort they put in is commendable. It's just not my*bag. |
THE ALPHABET KILLER (2008). I really enjoyed 2003's WRONG TURN and intrigued when Eliza Dushku and Director Rob Schmidt decided to team up again. TAK certainly has its moments, a grim premise and some decent suspense. Also, Eliza is pretty good as a seriously obsessive, burned out detective, but the narrative starts to unravel and I was not at all satisfied at the wrap-up. **1/2
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Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993) ★½
I am aware that this film has its own cult following. Somehow. And yes, they tried something different. And yes, the actual Jason death had a bit of an Evil Dead-ish quality to it. So yes, I gave it a chance and yes, I looked for the*positive. That said, we also*had - a coroner eating a heart - worm Jason - Jason turning into Bill O'Reilly - Jason going from steamrolling the competition to shaving a tied up cop, because...*reasons And the Oscar for the best "wait... what... why... what the fuck... WHAT?!"-goes to... Does that sound too weird for you? Here, have a*Voorhees-burger. Does anything redeem this film? Well, we have Creighton Duke, the "fuck you, I have a gun"-exchange and the death of Michael Phelps' girlfriend in the tent. But*still... I tried. I really did. But this one is still the worst in the original series. Hands*down. |
Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) ★★★
This was a fun little slasher.* The killers were somewhere between Victor Crowley and The Toxic Avenger, we had a likable final girl,... And the kills? Well, the opening kill with the mailman - aka Polish Pete Postlethwaite - is a good example. You know what's coming, but it still grabs you. The following ones are a lot more gory and in a same way*satisfactory. It also offers social commentary. Instead of fat camp, the kids go on "phone camp" and the first kid - after the obligatory sex scene - gets offed after his digibesity gets the better of him. And of course there is the gay character. I imagine this is not a theme you bring up easily in current day Poland, so kudos to the makers for going there. Especially because the character comes to a sad ending, not unlike the original Night Of The Living*Dead. Which brings me to the stylistic side of this film and it's knowledge of horror history. Apart from the fat kid souting oneliners and reciting classic scripts, the film had/seemed to have nods to - Wrong Turn 2 (the kill was a direct copy) - Tucker and Dale vs evil (the woodchipper bit) - Aliens - a nice variation on "come with me if you want to live" - Night of the living dead - Freddy vs*Jason And I could swear I heard a variation on "When I need you" by Leo Sayer. Not unlike what Jordan Peele does in*Us. Maybe not a classic, but very enjoyable*nonetheless. |
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ★½
Da fuq? |
Jason X (2001) ★★½
Once you are in space, all bets are off. And at least this time we have the real Jason*again. At least, the makers go all out silly with the kills and the puns. Brodski is one of the biggest badasses in the franchise and a relief compared to some of the other names. I'm sorry, but if you have the same name as Gargamel's cat, you deserve everything you*get. Sadly, this film is also a bit of a potboiler, keeping the fire burning until Ffreddy vs Jason gets out of development hell. Or the fact that Jason's biggest killing spree is in large part*unintentional. More fun than Goes to hell or A new beginning,*though. |
Freddy vs. Jason 2003 ★★½
Come on, tons of fun! Let's go waste that c*cksmoker Dante in his sleep. Make him dream about working on his day off.*Nooch. There. That's the obligatory Freddy vs Jason Mewes-joke out the*way. I remember hating this one the first time I saw it. I'll admit that i'm a bit less negative now. It's not as bad as I thought back then, though I still can not rate it as highly as the better ones in the original*series. Some of the Jason kills keep the charm of the original Friday-series. Some of the dream sequences can go with the original Freddy-series. Granted, they're closer to the Super Freddy-like bits, but still. I kind of like*those. Dude. Doobie lizard.*Boo-oongg! Okay, one more for the*road. I think I can now put my finger on what was wrong with this one in my eyes. It tried too hard to be cool with a crowd that was not really mine. Too bro-ey for my*liking. The characters were not as douchy as the ones in the reboot. And nobody says you have to be find Teddy Bear likable. But somehow, I'm more likely to hang out with stoner David or with Shelley and Andy than with these*snarks. A good metal song in a movie? I'm in. Bombtrack in Natural Born Killers is the first example that comes to mind and there are plenty of others. Throw in some generic metal guitars to make it look cool? That does not work for*me. The acting is a mixed bag. The original series was not renowned for it's acting and most of the cast do what they can with the material they're given. On the other hand, Kelly Rowland was REALLY bad. Shelly's dead-level bad. She and Lady Chong can have a Wiseau-off. Typical of the era where famous people were cast in horror*films. But why? Because they're famous. That*works. This may have been the biggest commercial success for Friday the 13th, but in my opinion, it would be a pity to end the series here. So part of me still hopes someone gets Vincente DiSanti in touch with Lebron James. So that they can together make a great Jason-movie. End on a high*note. |
Christmas Bloody Christmas, 2022. 7/10
Director Joe Begos  The Gray Man, 2022. 7/10 Directors: Anthony Russo & Joe Russo  Emily The Criminal, 2022. 7/10 Director: John Patton Ford  A Wounded Fawn, 2022. 6.5/10 Director: Travis Stevens https://reelreviews.com/images/stori...ed-fawn-lg.jpg |
THE FREEWAY KILLER (2010). Very good and creepy film regarding the exploits of William Bonin, who along with a few accomplices, killed several young men in the Los Angeles area and dumped their bodies on the side of the road hence the name. Scott Anthony Leet plays Bonin and is incredibly loathsome, especially as He begins to close in on his victims. One of the better Serial Killer films I've seen (alongside 2001's ED GEIN and HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER), there is a slightly amusing turn by Michael Rooker as the Law Enforcement Officer who tracks and busts Bonin. Considering how repellant He was in HENRY, here He is on the other side. I had never heard of this, but well worth checking out. ***1/2
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Godforsaken (2020) ★★★½
Godforsaken shows both the strength and the weakness of the style. Granted, I was not into the whole demon possession thing, so religious found footage has a way of keeping me at an arm's length. The healing scene was a frown moment. They were trying to present some sort of happiness, but you could tell this was not going to end well. Also, the gimmick of people running and screaming whilst holding a camera is something you can only keep up for so long. That said... when done right, found footage can be creepy as hell. And this film certainly has it's share of those moments. Wether it was the collective suicide, or the possession of Chad's mom. Good stuff nonetheless. Benny Loves You (2019) ★★★½ Benny Loves You is a lovely horror comedy in the vein of Critters and Leprechaun. It has the upper hand on most of them since it's more*entertaining. It would be easy to go for a scary looking bear, but Benny has an adorable Elmo-like look, with an equally cute voice. I also love how the killer bear is actually scared of horror films.* The first kill is pretty sweet and the humor is the type of stupid , silly fun that comes with the*territory. Recmommend for people who like Gremlins and Critters. Maybe a double bill with*Ted? Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) ★★½ An artsy comedy about the simple joys of life. Nothing memorable, like most day to day conversations, but it has a few funny moments. Among others transitioning Bill Murray and the awkward bit between Alfred Molina and Steve*Coogan. And it does end on one of the coolest versions of Louie Louie*ever. Shaun of the Dead 2004 ★★★★★ One of those rare gems that survives and even improves on every*rewatch. So many injokes, easter eggs, foreshadowing, callbacks,... just impossible to go over the jokes. And all of this hilarity ensues in a zed word movie that shies away from neither full on gore or touching*moments. And the front door is open!*Again!! Cloverfield (2008) ★★★ Cloverfield, the answer to the question: What would it be like to live through a Godzilla-like Roland Emmerich*film? Technically speaking, this counts as found footage, even though its budget is over 400 times that of The Blair Witch Project. Which is well used in order to let even the mass carnage and big explosions in the found footage*format. It does work well in realising what it sets out to do, it does keep you on the edge of your seat at times and it realises that the biggest mistake a found footage can make is overstaying its welcome. So the running time is not so much short, but not too*long. That said, the mix of not all that likable characters and the idea of the film does not keep not work as well as we (may have) thought back then keep it from being a genuine four star movie. It's "just" three stars*now. |
Nutcracker Massacre
This is more of a made for TV horror film than a major motion picture, but they did overall well with what they had to make this one viewable and to keep interest all the way through. It starts with a female writer first getting her book published after she caught her boyfriend cheating on her at the beginning of the Christmas holiday season, then having her aunt insisting that she come spend the holidays with her. Her aunt also has her cousin and boyfriend visit as well, only the cousin is super jealous with hatred over her book getting published, and has nothing but the wrong intents and desires for her. They also have a six foot tall wood sculpture of the nutcracker that becomes possessed by the spirit of the soldier that the original nutcracker sculpture was based on. It says that the original soldier eventually went crazy and killed two sisters before getting assassinated. They have to figure out a way to stop the curse before the spirit possessing the six foot tall wood sculpture kills everybody. It is not the greatest, but still overall well done and worth a look. There is a lot of good drama, dialogue, and well developed characters. Patrick Bergin does a good job playing the shop keeper. There is also plenty of eye opening artsy and gory scenes throughout the film. It should appeal to a good amount of those into the Christmas slasher sub-genre. ::devil::
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Christmas Twister
This one is actually surprisingly good. It has a decent plot, along with great picture quality, editing, drama, dialogue, and the like. It is about a man's more updated weather tracking system detecting an oncoming tornado that the local weather forecast is unable to pick up with their system equipment, then tries to get his wife, who works for the local weather forecast team, to safetly, as well as his kids out of school to safety, only to find out his daughter was out skipping school that day. The local weather forecast is also in disbelief about the tornado he detected with his system. When the tornado does hit, a lot of people are taken by surprise... This is actually in the same format and picture quality as "Twister" from the 1990s. Those into that film should find this one enjoyable as well. ::danger::
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Spoonful of Sugar, 2022. 7/10
Director: Mercedes Bryce Morgan  |
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Knock at the Cabin, 2023. 6/10
Director: M. Night Shyamalan  |
THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT (1994). Kind of odd, but funny in parts. Two Drag Queens (Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce) and a Transgender woman (Terence Stamp)travel across the Australian Outback to perform in various towns, facing setbacks, discrimination, squabbles and Human goodness to balance things out. **1/2
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Benny Loves You 2019 ★★★½
Benny Loves You is a lovely horror comedy in the vein of Critters and Leprechaun. It has the upper hand on most of them since it's more entertaining. It would be easy to go for a scary looking bear, but Benny has an adorable Elmo-like look, with an equally cute voice. I also love how the killer bear is actually scared of horror films. The first kill is pretty sweet and the humor is the type of stupid , silly fun that comes with the territory. Recmommend for people who like Gremlins and Critters. Maybe a double bill with Ted? |
Coffee and Cigarettes 2003 ★★½
An artsy comedy about the simple joys of life. Nothing memorable, like most day to day conversations, but it has a few funny moments. Among others transitioning Bill Murray and the awkward bit between Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan. And it does end on one of the coolest versions of Louie Louie ever. Shaun of the Dead 2004 ★★★★★ One of those rare gems that survives and even improves on every rewatch. So many injokes, easter eggs, foreshadowing, callbacks,... just impossible to go over the jokes. And all of this hilarity ensues in a zed word movie that shies away from neither full on gore or touching moments. And the front door is open! Again!! Cloverfield 2008 ★★★ Cloverfield, the answer to the question: What would it be like to live through a Godzilla-like Roland Emmerich film? Technically speaking, this counts as found footage, even though its budget is over 400 times that of The Blair Witch Project. Which is well used in order to let even the mass carnage and big explosions in the found footage format. It does work well in realising what it sets out to do, it does keep you on the edge of your seat at times and it realises that the biggest mistake a found footage can make is overstaying its welcome. So the running time is not so much short, but not too long. That said, the mix of not all that likable characters and the idea of the film does not keep not work as well as we (may have) thought back then keep it from being a genuine four star movie. It's "just" three stars now. Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature 2001 ★★ A pretty unmemorable creature feature. One of the producers was the late Stan Winston, so that at least explained why the transformation scene and some of the special effects were decent. The story, the characters and the acting, however, were pretty bland. Earth vs. the Spider 2001 ★★½ A bit of an exadurated title for this creature feature about a boy whose attempt at becoming a superhero turns sour. He takes more like the neighbourhood instead of the world. Nothing much memorable, but still enjoyable for what it's worth. Dan Ackroyd was kind of okay as the suffering cop. And the special effects were somewhere between amateurish and a charm similar to the creature features of the forties and fifties. Choose or Die 2022 ★★★★ Using the retro game as a basis, Choose or Die manages to create an intense supernatural atmosphere where you are in a dreamworld. In that dreamworld, everything can kill you. Everyone is a part and the game is everywhere. I enjoyed this a lot. It's good stuff. The viewer is sucked into an intensity reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby and - maybe on the nose as reference, but still - The Game. One of the better recent productions. Check it out. |
Crimes of the Future 2022 ★★★★★
Cronenberg is back, and how. How can a movie at the same time be both gracefully beautiful and utterly repulsive? Both mistifying and and fascinating? The detached and sometimes callous feel has hints of Von Trier and at times even Blade Runner - the scene where Mortensen kisses Kristen Stewart - but again, it also is typical Cronenberg. And of course, there is the exquisite beauty of the gore. Brilliant stuff. Diary of the Dead 2007 ★★½ In itself, the idea of a found footage zombie flick makes sense. The idea is overall worked out not too bad and it has good, original kills. Sadly, it gets too silly at times and the social commentary is too on the nose. The subtlety from Dawn is far away. Overall entertaining(ish), but it could have been a lot better. Wake up and Die 2011 ★★★½ When I started watching this, I was expecting something torture porn-like. To my surprise, it never really veered into that territory. At best just a tad. This is more about the relation and the tension between the two main/only characters. After a one night stand, a man and a woman end up in a story that reminds me of Source Code, where the main character only has a short time span in order to avoid a horrible fate. A risky move and maybe it did not work out perfectly well 100 percent of the time. But there is a lot to like about this one. For one, it takes guts to go down this risky road. And the film does a few things very well. The story does a very good job as it unveils, drip feeding us bits of info that later become relevant. The two characters thus become like onions, with each reiteration of the same scene peeling off another layer. The actress does a great job at conveying the terror she is overwhelmed with at the start and you can clearly tell and appreciate the arc her character goes through. While the male character has a few nice nods to Psycho weaved in, the male character is not all that memorable. It's easy to imagine actors who did better psychopaths (Bale, Hauer, Hopkins,...), but this is solid for what it is. No more, no less. A fun ride, though. Three and three quarter stars. Check it out. How to Make a Monster 2001 ★★ We follow a group of nerds trying to get a computer game together. There's the manager, the cool black guy and the scrawny nerd. And hardcore (yes, that's a real name here)? Meh... still like him better than Triple H. I mean Steinbrenner. I mean shave those sideburns! It's a noughties horror with lame kills and hardly any real gore. The build is up is dull and the reveal is lame. Clea DuVall as a good final girl earns the second star. But barely. Villains 2019 ★★★½ I really liked Villains as a whole, so I want to give it four stars. But I cannot for the life of me make up my mind on what this movie wants to be. And that falling between two chairs (instead of making a clear choice) keeps me from doing so. Does it want to be horror? Well, it certainly has bits of that. A bit of that vibe of how seemingly perfect people can be completely messed up underneath. And you do care for Mickey and Jules. Which is mostly due to Maika Monroe delivering a great performance as the lively, resourceful Jules. The most memorable thing about Bill Skarsgaard's performance is him rocking a Buscemi stache and mister Pink-ish look. The passage with the police officer has you at the edge of your seat and the dinner scene and the bit with the doll are too dark to be "just" a comedy. Does it want to be a comedy? That certainly works. From the gawky, clumsy robbery scene over the weird bit with the tongue stud (which for some reason reminded me of the goofy action in films like Romancing The Stone) to the bit channeling Di Caprio on qualudes. The couple fall somewhere in between. Jeffrey Donovan is funny with his ascott, his posh demeanor and his Southern-ish accent. And Kyra Sedgwick does a good job being both scary and sad at the same time. Both are damaged and dangerous at the same time. For people who like their films a bit on the oddball side. |
Swallowed, 2022. 7/10
Director: Carter Smith https://www.scifinow.co.uk/wp-conten...-1-616x370.jpg Huesera: The Bone Woman, 2022. 7/10 Director: Michelle Garza Cervera. https://horrorbrains.com/wp-content/...-Poster-2..jpg |
Unwelcome, 2022. 6,5/10
Director: Jon Wright  |
SMOKE AND MIRRORS: THE STORY OF TOM SAVINI (2015) . A pretty good biography on Tom Savini, the famed Make-Up Artist (as well as an Actor, Stuntman, Director, author), focusing on his early years up to the present.
I became a fan after FRIDAY, THE 13th and especially DAWN OF THE DEAD. And reading interviews with him (mostly in FANGORIA), He seemed like such a fun upbeat cool kind of guy. So a little disappointed when I met him at some cons . Certainly polite, but seemed almost as if He didn't want to be there. I got an understanding of what may have caused his behavior after watching this. This is worth seeing and can be found on SHUDDER>. ***1/2 |
Nocebo, 2022. 7/10
Directed by Lorcan Finnegan The Winter Witch, 2022. 5/10 Directed by Richard John Taylor  |
COCKNEYS VS ZOMBIES (2012). Two bumbling Brothers, a Cousin, an inept friend and a seriously anti-social acquaintance plan a bank robbery to help save their Grandfathers Rest Home, which is in danger of being demolished. Naturally, things go FUBAR and it doesn't help that a zombie epidemic has broken out in London.
Although this has a SHAUN OF THE DEAD vibe, it's not bad and I found most of the humor comes from the Seniors defending themselves, especially Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore herself in her last film) and Alan Ford, who was probably born snarling and contentious. *** |
Luther: The Fallen Sun {2023} 7.5/10
Directed by Jamie Payne So what now? https://www.bt.com/content/dam/bt/po...op.764.430.jpg |
IF I LEAVE HERE TOMORROW: A FILM ABOUT LYNYRD SKYNYRD (2018). Very good documentary of what I feel to be the definitive Southern Rock band. A lot of history, old interviews and performance footage (including the 1976 Knebworth Festival when they went on the Vanity ramp that was meant solely for The Rolling Stones) and of course (and sadly) the site of the October 1977 plane crash that truly ended it all. Obviously more for fans, but a good history, although I wish they had more focus on the aftermath (such as Rossington-Collins Band) other than the endless tour with replacement members. ****
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This Luther film, I thought was ok. Has some fine scene sequences. Overall, I found the story and ending a bit conventional, run-of-the-mill. Also had one or more, mostly inconsequential, plot holes... like who does/doesn't survive in icy water. Also, it's development of Luther, or lack thereof, really crippled the film. What he does defines him, no doubt, but it's very much an 'looking from the outside' affair. There's no hint he's changed in any way as a result of his experiences in the film. The writer's of Luther would have done well to bring-back the red-headed helper; and introduced Luther deeply working through the controversial oversteps in his police-work. I'd give Luther a 6.5, or perhaps a 7 for being competent. |
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