He looks like Kevin Smith as the Punisher.

Pretty decent effort Ferret, but Renegade is much leaner, meaner dude. That one looks like a real Muhammed Ali with guns.

He isnt a heavy hitter like Arnie or Stallone. Think more in the lines of Kurt Russell-ish kinda persona.

How does this do?

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p.../Renegade2.jpg

Thats certainly an improvement.

Lose the machine gun from the left hand, put a .45 in his right, double holsters under arms (one of them having the other handgun), longer jacket, lesser hair, rough chin, scar on neck, slightly bigger goggles, insignia of death on chest and a wolf/bird of prey as a sidekick, and you got him. :)

I think this is what you're after. :p

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...hePunisher.jpg

Okay, to get folks pumped up I'll do a little preview. This time featuring Brix

INT. Roland Kassir's Mansion - NIGHT

FADE IN:

Cigar smoke fills a large room decorated with only a desk and a chair on both sides of it. The desk is on the opposite end of the room from the windows, which take up an entire wall. In the chair with it's back to the wall is ROLAND KASSIR (50s) a drug lord. He's bald and a scar runs from the center of the top of his head down to his right ear. A black cane with a golden handle is leaning on the desk. It looks fairly new. A younger man in a baseball cap opens the door and pokes his head in.

KASSIR'S EMPLOYEE
He's here.

ROLAND KASSIR
Check him first and send him in.

KASSIR'S EMPLOYEE
Yes, sir.

Kassir's employee closes the door, a few moments later the door opens and a large, muscular man walks in. He's wearing a brown trenchcoat over a black T-Shirt and jeans. His brown steel-towed boots leaving indentations in the floor. There is a scar across his cheek and one from his left eyebrow to the temple The shoulders of his trenchcoat are dripping with rain. This is BRIX. He remains standing.

BRIX
You know, normally the desks are in front of the window.

ROLAND KASSIR
I'm aware. I wasn't... satisfied with that arrangement.

Roland rubs the scar on his head.

ROLAND KASSIR
Have a seat.

BRIX
I'm fine. What do you want?

His voice is like rocks in a washing machine.

ROLAND KASSIR
(nervous)
Okay... Right. As you know there has been a lot of trouble stirring up lately because of the kids who think they can just come in and take my town with their hallucinogens and party drugs. You see what I'm getting at?

BRIX
How many of them?

ROLAND KASSIR
There's three in charge. I know your rates.

Roland slides a large stack of CASH in front of Brix. He takes his left hand from his pocket and returns it with the stack in hand.

ROLAND KASSIR
You're not going to count it?

BRIX
I know you're not stupid enough to try and pull shit on me.

ROLAND KASSIR
So can you get the job done?

Brix pulls both hands from his pockets, reaches into his coat and pulls out a shiny, gold-colored desert eagle. There is blood smeared on the knuckles of his right hand.

ROLAND KASSIR
How did you get that in here? I told him to check you.

Brix smiles and stands up to leave. When he exits he leaves the door open. Roland calls for his employee, nothing He stands up and limps out of the door only to discover his employee slumped against the wall, a large dent where his face used to be.

FADE OUT

Very nice! BRIX is prett badass.

Great work. It flows really well.

Awesome! Kudos for proper format. :D

Thank you for the kind words everyone. Anybody else looking to put in their characters?

Haha, nice! Don't try to frisk Brix or he'll indent your face mofos!

And you get formatting kudos from me too. Nice job!

Ouch...

:(

Aw! Don't feel bad, Ferret. :( I love reading your stories. I don't expect you to write in proper format. I went to college for this so it's nice to see screenwriting again, but that doesn't mean yours are any less entertaining. :)

I understand. :(

Anyway, I've slightly redesigned Eidolon.

Which one do you think is better (other design on previous page)

http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p...r/Eidolon2.jpg

I learned from downloading the Burn After Reading script. So if I mix or mess anything up, my apologies.

I'm going to give this a bump and brainstorm another little preview to post up tonight after I get back from Monsters vs. Aliens. So if anyone has any revisions, images, or new characters go ahead and post them.

I also thought you could use some more civilians:
Name: Rosie the Riveter and the Dregs (hero and villain, retired)
Age:80/83
Real names: Rosie O' Shea and Walter Jones

During World War 2, many of America's heroes were off fighting the good fight against Hitler. Walt Jones, rejected for military service due to his asthma decided he had found a great opportunity. In an America free of superheroes, a costumed villain could really flourish. So, he got on a black suit and a pair of springed boots and became a bank robber. But, the Dregs was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as women were picking up the slack in the workplace, superpowered Rosie O' Shea was picking up the slack on the streets as powerhouse Rosie the Riveter. Not knowing that the Dreg's jumping abilities were not the product of superhuman talents, Rosie gave him all she had, which was enough to send the Dregs flying through a wall, break several of his bones and knock him out. A guilty Rosie felt bad that she had done all of this to a regular joe, so came to visit him frequently in the hospital. Walter fell in love with her right away, but it took some time for the hood to grow on Rosie. Walter swore he'd never return to crime if she would go to dinner with him just once. She agreed and that first date began a lifelong relationship. When the War ended, Rosie decided to give up superheroing and together, they opened Rosie's Place, a place for superheroes to gather, reminisce, share info and be themselves. Rosie works the door while Walter tends bar.

One last bit of character info on Volpone: His lair is known as the Den and is outfitted with a combination of Renaissance art and high technology. All Volpone units and his own costume are outfitted with a voice modulator. The voice? Errol Flynn.

Time for another preview, featuring Red Dynamo

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...00px-Blesk.jpg

FADE IN:

EXT. TWILIGHT CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

Establishing shot of Twilight City, a large city filled with hundreds of buildings and several skyscrapers, a city containing thousands of people with thousands of stories. A light, misty rain covers the sleeping city with a moist sheet. As we cut to-

INT. TWILIGHT CITY POLICE DEPT. - NIGHT

-our particular story for tonight. Two police officers enter dragging an unconscious man wearing shiny and polished metal boots and gauntlets that reflect his surroundings. He has a red suit with silver lightning bolts streaked down the side. One of the officers is holding his silver mask. A small drop of blood from where he was hit with a billy-club drips onto the floor. A female officer sitting behind a desk stands up.

FEMALE OFFICER
Which one is this?

MALE OFFICER #1
The burning homicide on Scott Lane.

CUT TO:

INT. TWILIGHT CITY POLICE DEPT, HOLDING CELL - NIGHT

The two male officers throw the unconscious murderer into the holding cell, which already contains a sleeping homeless man. Ink covers the unconscious man's fingers. After a few moments in the cell his eyes open, his irises are a dark brown around the iris, but surrounding the outer-edges is a piercing electric blue. The whites are red and cracked like lightning bolts striking the iris. When his eyes open the lights flicker and his hair begins to stand up. This is RED DYNAMO. He turns around to piece together where he is. He watches the two officers outside of the cell. The first officer is holding a manila filing folder.

MALE OFFICER #1
We got the results back on the prints.

MALE OFFICER #2
Yeah, and?

MALE OFFICER #1
It's James Macky.

The second officer stares blankly for a moment before a look of recognition hits his face.

MALE OFFICER #2
You mean THE James Macky? Danny Macky's kid?

MALE OFFICER #1
Yep. That's little Jamey Macky.

The first officer looks to the cell and sees Macky is awake.

MALE OFFICER #1
You know, ever since that night I scooped up your dad I wondered when I would finally see you come back here. Did you know that?

James stares at him, the red lightning bolts in his eyes haven't left.

MALE OFFICER #1
I almost lost my job because you ran away. How about that? Did you know that?

RED DYNAMO
Well you don't deserve to protect people. I outsmarted you and i was 10.

The male officer, obviously angered, rolls his sleeves up. The female officer rushes in. A worried expression plagues her otherwise pretty face.

FEMALE OFFICER
We just got an I.D. on Macky's victim...

MALE OFFICER #2
Yeah? Who is the Char-Head?

FEMALE OFFICER
It was Fitzgerald.

An expression of shock falls on the second officer's face. The first officer's glare on Macky grows more intense.

MALE OFFICER #1
What is it? Do you hate cops?

RED DYNAMO
Yeah...

MALE OFFICER #1
Alright, how did you do it?

RED DYNAMO
That's for me to know and for you to find out... Very soon.

Fed up, The first officer pulls out his keys and sticks one into a lock. As he pushes the door open James leaps forward and grabs the bars. Sending a current through them he shocks the officer and stops his heart. He drops to the ground, dead. Both officer's shuffle for their guns. The female officer gets on her walkie to shout for help. James ignores her and goes straight for the second officer and grabs both sides of his head. The officer's face slowly becomes more and more burned. James releases his grasp and the officer drops to the ground, also dead. He waits patiently for the female officer to finish calling backup. Officers begin to enter the room and stand in front of the exit pointing their guns at him. He puts his hands up as if he's surrendering. His hair begins to stand up straighter. A large bolt of Staccato lightning crashes through the roof and burns every officer to death. James smiles.

CUT TO:

INT. TWILIGHT CITY POLICE DEPT., EVIDENCE ROOM - NIGHT

James enters the dark evidence room, his eyes, still cracked, shift upward and the lights cut on. He walks to a shelf and grabs the silver mask that hides his nose and mouth. He dons the mask and exits the evidence room.

CUT TO:

EXT. TWILIGHT CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

The rain has gotten heavy, pummeling all of Twilight City's beautifully-lit buildings. When suddenly a roar of thunder and large bolt of lightning CRASHES over the city and all of the lights go out.

FADE OUT

Very nice, MM, very nice indeed. Now, let's see where Eidolon fits in. :)

I'm still putting it all together. I actually think the first preview might be in the actual story at this point. I've gotten a few characters' roles figured out already. Yours isn't done yet.

Good work.

I see Twilight City as the venue for Red Dynamo. Will it be the place of events for the entire storyline or just a few episodes? (since it is the hometown of Renegade)

I'm going to spread out the character's locations to surrounding areas, but a few of the main events will take place in Twilight City.

this is just like that british comedy - NO HEROICS - i love the idea of a bar where supertypes go to hang out and chil

Thats was a quality little teaser!

You've got one hell of a job fitting all these characters together, Im looking forward to seeing how you do it.

I had given some thought to RD's back story but never got round to putting anything definate down. It would seem you have an idea about it anyway so Im very intrigued!

Thank you very much. I'm trying to figure out the individuals before fitting them together. I've got a lot of my character's relationships with the others figured out for the most part. If you have any ideas on your character's origins I'd abandon the story I'm working on since he's your creation.

Im happy to leave it open for you to develop as you see fit.

I'll admit, grudgingly, that your creative powers are much greater than mine so you'll undoubtedly do a better job of it!

Very well, then. Thank you.

Any more submissions, folks?

I was thinking of doing a backstory tomorrow if you haven't written one for me yet. I've had an idea flowing, but not the chance to write it out yet.

Nope, go right ahead. I look forward to it. :)

*** Bumpity ***

I'm finishing off corpse in orbit this week so it won't be long before this starts up.

I forgot that I hadn't written this yet. I've been busy with BR and such and actual work at the office (imagine that :eek: ) so hopefully things will die down tomorrow and I can work on it.

C'mon Massacreman, let's rock n roll!

Civilian Name: Abram Montez

Hero Alias: Screech

Status (Good, Bad, Civilian): Bad

Abilities: Shockwave Clap, deafning screech, controls some dark.

Personality: Not a people person, lives by himself in a DARK alley. Has no family but Hades [his father] which he hates badly, has a pet gargoyle which can turn to stone. To some villains Screech can be nice, but most of the time he is just snappy.

Costume: Black tank with a red lighting bolt that stands for the S in Screech. Big red belt, black skinny spandex pants, and rocker boots, large spikes in hair, fake vampire teeth, and sometimes a band to wear around his head.

Okay, care to explain "Shockwave Clap" and "Controls some dark," please?

And Ferret, it will begin soon.

K. Shockwave clap = I clap my hands which makes a shockwave.
Some dark = I control tidbits of dark like dark shields, and a dark tornado.

You are so ready for 1989 Spiderman.

Bah hahaha Bwind you should be forced to come clean the iced tea out of my keyboard for making me laugh so hard.