Is that what ya were talking bout last night Pinky? ( sorry couldnt resist, if ya don't like "pinky" I won't call ya that again lol)

Yep, thats it!! I dont mind Pinky!!!:)

ok then Pinky it is :D

LPN=Licensed Practical Nurse
and Pink told you the CNA bit.
It can also,depending on where you get certified, Certified Nurse Aide

Gotcha

Cunts. Makes me spit venom. We have a total shithead police force, money and your status gives you a get outta jail free card. Asshole thugs victimising 9 times outta 10 than preventing.

"This could be anywhere, this could be everywhere"

however ..it never once crossed my mind
to ever hurt myself...becos..it wasn't my fault.
I almost died walking the 10 miles to my brothers farm..the amount of blood loss..
ripped..to shreds..however the hell i made it to him.
My brother put it down to sheer determination not to be beaten down ..and he was right..
When my baby was born..it made me even more determined..and only being a child myself..
Also..not once did i feel hatred..only pity
cos at the end of it all ..father dearest lost all of his children and our total respect.
When he got out of prison and tried to contact us...we heard this big man sobbing like a child..
my brother wished him well and hung up..that was our last contact till we heard that he had passed away..
The day they were to bury him..my brothers sent me to Aus ..not for a holiday but to get me out of thier fucking hair cos i kept chasing girly ppl away.
Yes...my big brother is my god and keeper and although he has just turned 50 ..(nov 1st)..he still tells me off and i still go over to his house n just help myself to his wallet..his food..his car..
and all he does is shake his head when i upset his wifey ..the bitch.

'stubborn mumbles'

Hell of a story. People don't even know how far human endurance and will goes. Surviving that kind of darkness, of physical and psychivc violence is really remarkable. And to come out of it as anything but the most reprehensible of people or an utter vegetable is just a miracle. It blows my mind sometimes how weak the excuses for becoming a vicious and antisocial person are in some people, and yet how far people can go and maintain basic human decency. I'd have to say you're the bravest person I've come into any modicum of contact with, stubborn.

aw shux..now em blushing..
thank you for that ..
I don't consider myself anything other than the crazy chick who thinks she knows it all..cos damn straight ..I DO!!
What em truly amazed at are the stories in here ...I truly beleived that I was the only one..how sad is that to find that the if you can't trust the people you wholeheartedly love and respect..then 'who the hell can you ??who else is there to turn to..??
I was lucky to have had my brothers and male relatives..some of these people have
had nobody and for that i feel sorry.

sok..moving on now. ;)

I won't ever go into massive detail about what I went thru,because it doesn't deserve my time or energy.
But Stubborn,we are survivors,most people that went thru stuff like us-become abusers themselves,Multiple Personalities,Crack Whores,Drug addicts...basically the scum of the earth type people.
But I see alot of 'love of life' in you Stubborn.
I consider myself lucky to still be intact somewhat mentally and a person who tries,though my soul is so tired,to keep a pair of rose colored glasses handy.
Because the way I see it-how much worse could it EVER get,and even if it did...we made it through before.
So there's never a question of our strength.
I wouldn't change an ounce of pain or trama, because every experience made me.
The small things matter now,and are never overlooked and always..precious.

And I too:movin on now:)

Beautifully stated Nova. I agree completely.

It's actually very empowering to have survived terrible circumstances... that doesn't mean I think it's great that they happened ;) However, when you overcome them, you realize how strong you are...what you're capable of handling...

All of my experiences, especially the bad, have taught me important lessons...and I've learned so much more than I ever could have, had I not gone through them. I've gotten to the point where I'm actually grateful that I did.

Neil, 28 years young, currently living with g/f and several animals. Reside in Liverpool UK work on the railway in full contact with the general public (not the nicest of beasts). Have a five year old son called Shaun but thanks to my bitch-whore of an ex g/f I haven't seen him for nearly three years.
Stumbled across HDC when trying to find info about Land of the Dead, very happy to be here.

Novakru and Stubbornforgey,

After reading stories of your hardships it would really be hard for me to say that I have had a difficult past.

I pray that The Dagda and Morrigu (Haunted;) ) give those that tresspassed against you and caused you so much pain get the pain they have inflicted returned to them 3 fold and thensome.

It angers and saddens me at times to see what a shitty world has been presented to us.

I do believe though that the Gods are testing us for what is to come, so that we are stronger, better people to deal with it.

Blessings to you.

Thank you MTC and MM.

I didn't think I would revisit this issue again,but I feel I must.

I don't wish any harm on my abusers.
I haven't gotten to the point where I can forgive them,
but one day I will and that is the day I will truly be free of them and their poison will be completely free from my mind and will no longer affect Any of my actions.

I have finally forgiven myself because a therapist finally got it thru to me that I didn't cause this,I didn't bring it-how could I?

The thing is,I have seen remarkable examples of people forgiving murderers that killed their children.
I personally do not think I could ever do that,but I undestand WHY now.
What happens when someone takes something precious from you and you hate them and you become bitter and that hate spreads like a virus and everyone you come into contact experiences it and in turn passes it on?
How is that helpful to you?
To anyone?
A vicious cycle that never ends.
And only forgiveness can end it.

Don't get me wrong though-
People should pay under the law when they have abused children,killed or raped children,killed or raped anyone actually.
I don't think they die though.
Punishment should be a locked room,no TV,no books,no contact with others,not even a window to see the weather.
Locked in a room with only their thoughts is the only way a person who cares so little for life to truly understand the pain they caused.
Because eventually in their mind a Hell of their own creation will start.
That to me would be justice served.

This one is a very thin issue with me though.
Because I know if something happened to my child-I'd want blood and I'd want to be the person that caused that blood.

Re: Everyone has a story...
 

Hmmmm..... one paragraph huh? Not sure I can do that. Maybe if I don't seperate it? lol.

I'm 16, I'll be 17 in May. I don't have much of a life off of the internet. I'm a goth (Don't ask). I enjoy watching horror movies. I started watching them about 5 months ago and got hooked. The first one I saw was "The Grudge" ??? I'd like to spend some time with my friends..... I don't have any though..... I also enjoy singing and playing a little on my guitar and keyboards. My favorite band is Cold. And talking on the phone is NOT my strong point. lol.

As for how I ended up on HDC, I read Fango and it had an add in the back for this place. I probably would not be here any longer if I had not just taken the few insults I had gotten when I first arrived.

That was two paragraphs. Sorry. Later.

Agreed!

This is what makes people like you better than me.

My father abandoned me when I was a child. He died soon after in a serious car accident. He also took a young girls life in the process. Until my mid twenties, with the help of the Gods, I was very bitter and angry about the way my life had turned out.

I could only think that if my father had not left, to find himself:rolleyes:, the chain of events would have been much different than what it was.

I can only say this, I have come to terms with the misfortunes that I have had and am for the most part no longer filled with angst.

I do have a great deal of apathy towards my father and his family as well as my mother, we donot have a good relationship as hers is mostly connected to Marshall Fields and Niemen Marcus.

What I have done is put all that aside and expressed myself in other ways but I will never forget what has happened to me and I am totally unable to forgive, hopefully the Gods will because I cannot.

Words cannot be put here the things that I would like to do to people that abuse women and especially children. All I can say is that it would be a machine that would never be able to be turned off.

Re: Re: Everyone has a story...
 

I'm your friend!!!;)

I feel the same way. I'm unable to forgive the person who caused me most of my pain...the main reason for that is b/c he won't admit what he did. He takes no responsibility for his actions, and doesn't believe he did anything wrong. It's hard to forgive somebody who won't allow you the closure that you seek.

I can't say that I'm angry anymore, I guess that I just choose to pretend like this person doesn't exist ;) Maybe that's not the healthiest thing to do, in many people's eyes...but it works for me, and allows me to go on with my life.

Re: Re: Re: Everyone has a story...
 

Thanks:)

Re: Re: Everyone has a story...
 

Dur, what's a goth?


Oh GOD, me neither. I can't keep em' going for more than a minute or two, I just can't see the need to talk about things that aren't absolutely necessary to say over the phone. If someone wants to tell me how their day was, do it when you see me!

I never know how to end 'em. I wait for the other person to say they have to go or if it gets to a certain point I just make up something.

Re: Re: Re: Everyone has a story...
 

Thank You! Someone who agree's with me for once! My last girlfriend didn't understand that. She wanted me to call like 24/7 and she wouldn't have anything to say to me, and I personally hate talking over the phone. And she'd get mad when I couldn't come up with anything to say. I don't get it:confused:

I usually say, "Well I'm going now."

lol. I also just wait. I feel bad when I tell someone I have to go.

Whenever I'm on the phone more often than not the other person does most of the talking and while I know the other person probably wouldn't care one bit I still don't want to cut 'em off or seem like I'm rushing them off the phone. Don't know why but I worry about stuff like that way too much.

oh i suck at that..
to me time is precious and if somebody rings..whether it be family..freinds ..the goddamned govt..i don't care..
if they ring me on an important matter..
i will take the call and help where em needed..
however..ring for me just to show me your stupidity..then em like..wha'??acks??..
'then i hang up!
Em not into phone conversations where the caller wants to discuss the weather
or just a freindly chat..
the weather..'i can see from my own window'
freindly chat..'.you got my e mail..use it..'
and yes i know...em fucking rude..i have been told this many..many ..many..many times..but they still ring back just to piss me off cos they are just as bigger wankers as moi!!

Wow, I wasn't prepared for this.
I joined HDC after searching on google, just to find somewhere to connect with like minded people and chat and stuff about one of my fave hobbies - horror films. Simple.

But when I read some of the replies to this thread my blood ran cold and I felt I had to post something. I don't really want to go into my life story right now. I've recently spent a few weeks at a clinic trying to sort my head out after everything came to a head and finally got the better of me. I didn't do me any good though and I'm still struggling to cope. I wish I was as strong as some of you folks but the fact is I aint - and I haven't had things as bad as some of you. No way. You are truly amazing and inspirational people.

It is good to read your posts though and see that there is hope and people can come through these things. It just sickens me to the core everytime I hear about these things. Sometimes life really sticks it in and breaks it off.

Anyway, I'm 32 and live in Birmingham, England (the ancestral home of Ozzy). It's a dump. I play the geetar a bit and listen to classic rock/metal etc. I love ancient history and Egyptology. I'm trying to learn hieroglyphics - why, I'm not sure!

I've always loved horror films ever since me and my best mate illegally hired out the incredible melting man. Ahh, my misspent youth. I prefer the classics though - hammer especially. And my fave actor - Vincent Price of course (genius!)

See yers

I can talk your ear off about Egyptology. It's one of my favorite subjects. See, I'm Pagan (sorry guys) and I BELIEVE in those Gods. Fun. Get in touch with me through PM's. We'll chat.

We're all remarkable people...even Stubbornforgey.