The meaning is what you make it. It can mean live for others, it can mean live for yourself. I just sit back and enjoy the ride. The past is gone and future will come in its own time.

Depression for me is from severe childhood trama...I remember having so many natural gifts as a kid and then had someone twist the world into something my mind couldn't handle...after years of therapy and now meds, I can cope very well...it's just at times my world tilts no matter what I do to prevent it.
Most of the time I am pretty happy and I laugh alot (This is something I completely forget about when I am in my blackness)

Think about someone telling you the sky is green and everytime you say "but it's blue" you get seared with something very hot ..eventually you start seeing the sky turn green.

That's how my depression sneaks up on me... I just forget the sky is Blue.

Well wat can i say on this topic.
One day i woke up and took a good look around at my surroundings and all i felt was displeasure at wat i felt inside my heart.
I knew exactly wat i had to do each day..
5.30 am ..wake up..shower..change..get kids breakfast ready
wake them up at 7 for thier showers..get them ready for school then head off to wrk myself.
walk into my office and wait.
8.am the secretary walks in and turns on her comp n tells me about her life story ..
AGAIN.!!
6.30 ..The rest of the staff came in and laughed about things that make no sense at all.
9 pm ..work n study ..take morning coffee..same ole same ole crap..
lunch break...again same ole same ole crap
ring my baby in egypt ..talk love talk ..hang up an work the rest of the day off.
3 pm would find me in the bank..3.15 buying food...3.45 waiting for bus home loaded down with shopping.
4.pm walk in my house ..start cooking tea
Family members come over ..bitching n moaning about god knows wat..!!
borow money from me then leave.
4.30..dinner is coking ..help kids with homework
eat dinner..shower..watch t.v ..ring egypt again..go to bed
start again tomorrow doing the same thing.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ..without even a second thought i finally decided i wanted a change...i now live in Egypt with my Lord...my drac..my precious silly egyptian.. i feel like i have just been reborn.

i hope there's a way to undo the damage...
i had a pretty shit childhood (mental anguish - not physical) but i always held fast to the belief that things would get better.


as corny as this is - i always thought of it as my personal coat of arms :

http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/l...evergiveup.jpg

Dam, There's a Meaning to life??? Who Knew!! LOL
Still searching.............................

When you open your eyes
take a good look outside
the worlds still turning
while your trying to hide,
the sun maybe shining or maybe theres rain
no matter the weather..
forget all your pain..
try not to question what tomorrow brings
be happy with now and everything,
go greet a neighbour a lover or friend
for who knows now..could see your whole life end.



stubbs

That is sooooooo amazing. I love you for following your heart, Forgey:D :D :D

You are fantastic!

[QUOTE=Roderick Usher;702678]That is sooooooo amazing. I love you for following your heart, Forgey:D :D :D

You are fantastic![/QUOTE


awwwwwwwwwwww fanks..
i wuv o0 too :o