Read my story.... it's true I tell ye!!!
 

I posted this story to a playwrights forum back a couple of months ago when asked about funny things happening before curtain up:

"I was watching a show on tv the other night and some famous actor (I think it was David Tennant) admitted that a good fart (sorry, I did warn you it was about bodily functions) was a wonderful way of reliefing stage fright!

Anyway, it reminded me of one time when I was about to go onstage on our first night and I was petrified. The adrenalin was rushing through me at 100 mph and as I went to step out into the spotlight, I literally *let rip* - please believe me, I did not intend to do it - it just kinda slipped out. Actors that were stood behind me shot back about 5 feet, aghast at my *explosion* and, of course, we all burst out laughing. I was near hysterical at the suddeness and embarrassment of my rather loud faux pas!

All I kept thinking was: "At least the audience didnt hear that!". About 5 seconds later, the onstage phone rang. It was our sound/lighting man up in the heavens - he rang to say "Tell Tracy.... I heard that!". The thing is, if he heard it, so did the audience because the mic's are in the ceiling of the stage.

Any actors reading this will understand when I say how difficult it is to go onstage stifling the giggles and these werent just any giggles - these were raucous, belly laugh, rolling on the floor giggles. Bright red in the face, cheeks puffed I pushed myself on stage. Suffice to say, the *professional* in me went into acting mode and, although the voice was a little shaky through stifling hysterics, I was able to get through the initial entrance.

I try to be much more discreet these days - I am a lady really, honest!! <blink, blink>"

.......... :D

Yes, I suffered toxic inhalation from a ex b/f who did them all the time and I mean ALL the time and damn well bloody stinky too!

It's okay once in a while, but constantly with a bad stench - not so good! :mad:

I don't know what my boyfriend eats, but he has a serious gas problem and he doesn't care where he is when he lets it rip. It's so gross. It wouldn't be so bad if it was once in a while, but it's all the time! I just wish he would step away a few feet before he does it or something, or would try to be more subtle.

He also has a serious burping problem. Not only are they loud they are juicy sounding, like Barney on the Simpsons, and you can even almost see little bubbles coming out of his mouth when he does it. He sounds like a marsh bird or something. The worst is when he is on the phone because his burping comes out high pitched and hurts my ears.

Personally, I never fart in front of other people. I think it's impolite, gross, and would be rather embarrassing. I think if you're a public farter or not, it really stems from how you grew up and what was considered appropriate in public and what wasn't.

Well, it doesn't happen often, and I can't really recall it happening in public...Maybe just never had to then, or maybe because we don't go out in public much...When we DO go out, there usually aren't many other people out, and almost never near us...But, at home and around friends and family, no one really cares...Again, It doesn't happen often...But, it's never a big deal when it does

there are times it just happens. Honestly, I could care less where I fart or around who. It is a body function. It is not like I plan out the exact location I fart. It occurs. If I am well aware that it has a chance of being toxic for others, I am polite enough to step away.

As for significant other, she is worse than I am. Mine are just loud, hers are silent but deadly

Same here.

When I m at home and there's a knock "downstairs", I let it out. It was embarrassing at first when I got married last year, but now its normal. Usually beans and beer combo causes it, but lately I ve had a relatively good digestion so not many sounds from there.

Sometimes you cant help it when you got an upset tummy and its all over the place, but yea, the "noiseless" ones are the REALLY dangerous and harmful ones. And the added thing is you never know who did it, since the sound never came. And the area's air becomes so polluted you have to run at least 10 miles away for the stench to subside from the air.

Damn nasty thingys!

Oh wait!...I just remembered one in public...It was a LONG time ago...We were in the candle department at Sears (I was talked into shopping with my mother...ugh)...The look on my mother's face was worth the trip...lol...She said "Catherine!"...I said, "What?!......They're scented candles, I didn't think you'd notice"...hahaha...It was pretty funny...Guess ya had to be there

:p I love all of these stories, it's a topic you can't help but laugh.

scented candles...lmao tsk tsk BR!!

:D

Hey, at least I owned up to it

I could have just as easily said, "Wow, these candles really stink" :p


I always claim my farts :D