Dr.Kelvinstein |
12-24-2003 01:42 PM |
Man, I got the person AND the scenario. Avril Lavigne, because even though I hate her crappy music and her stupid punk-wannabe image, I'm still HUGELY attracted to her. Can't help it--so maybe if she was killed in a movie, it would excorcise this thing I got for her. Make sense? No, probably not. But get this---she and her stupid little skater friends are on their way to an extreme sports exhibition when their bus breaks down in some hick town--(and, yes, their bus has a big red anarchy "A" spray-painted on the side of it. Why? Because they're big posers, and posers think stuff like that is cool.) Anyhoo, they have to stay in some crumbling mansion owned by the town loony---ah, shit, I know---the mansion used to be a doctor's office where abortions were performed back in the twenties, and rumor has it that instead of having abortions some of the women gave their unwanted children to the doc who did all these screwed-up experiments on them. Shit, Avril even finds some old, rusty chains and antique medical equipment in the basement (while balling some dude, of course--"Slow down a minute; something like totally just poked me in the back." Then Avril gets into a fight with her poser boyfriend because all he cares about is making money in the extreme sports competition, and Avril says some stupid shit like, "What's wrong with you, Razor? It used to be all about the skating." Then she skulks off and takes a long, angry shower with lots and lots of scrubbing of those hard-to-reach areas. And of course our killer, one of the offspring of our not-so-aborted babies who have been breeding in woods behind the house like rabbits for the past 80 yrs, swipes a ski pole from Avril's van (in POV, of course) and rams it through Avril's head while she's drying off and dancing to some campy emo rock song. Whew, happy that's out of my system!!!!
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