What is it with this week? I'm sorry, I'm feeling about the same way right now. Though I didn't directly lose anyone to suicide, someone very close to me who I care about more than I even know did...and it's really fucking me up in the head. He found out Sunday...she was only 23, and she hung herself.
I didn't personally know her, but I knew of her for a while. I just feel horrible about the way he's feeling. I mean, I wanna help so much, but I feel like I'm just bugging him when I try to talk to him about it. And considering the circumstances of our relationship, and the one he had with her, he's just uncomfortable telling me how he's feeling. I don't like that because I wanna be an ear for him, but I guess all I can do is be there for him, and hope he's back to himself soon. It's just breaking my heart with him like this.
Anyways, suicide is indeed a crazy, strange thing. It confuses people who are close to the one who commited it, and even effects people they never even met. I'll never understand how people can make the decision to end their own life, and part of the lives of the one's who care about them.

Years ago a friend of mine committed suicide. He and his girlfriend were fighting and he hit her. Then he went into the laundry room and hung himself, she was the one to find him. And I just thought, man, they could have just talked it out, even if they broke up it would have been better than that! That's something she'll never get over.
I also had a friend that attempted suicide but thankfully didn't succeed.
And to be perfectly honest, I've thought of it myself. Sometimes it seems like the thing to do, but it's not. Once you do it, you're gone, there is no turning back if you succeed. I wouldn't want to hurt the people that I love as much as it would. And I like to think I'm here for a reason, still searching for that one, but hopefully I figure it out one day. Plus, I gotta stick around to bug the shit out of the people that I don't like (j/k sort of). Whatever works.

...and just TODAY, I got an avocado sandwich...they put lemon juice on it, but no salt or pepper...can you believe that?!?
Strange...

OK, I lied. Avocados are what keeps me going, and garlic.

I have a must-have list too
Avocados, pastry, fresh ground pepper, chilli, cheese, garlic, ginger, chicken, chocolate, nutmeg.
Yep, gotta have those things...like regular intervals. Come to think of it, they'd probably work together too.

Also...I'm not commenting on the suicide thing other than to say, again, I think that it's a selfish act that spoils every good memory you have of that person upon it's attempt or success.

I used to think how it was amazing how the UK has been the first to recognise homosexual relationships as meaningful as straight relationships.

I don't understand this thinking. Why would you deny us homosexuals our basic rights?

\m/

Sometimes I think that we, as humans, don't realize how fragile we are emotionally, especially younger people. Kids go to school and get picked on so badly that they can't take it. They either go back to school armed to the teeth or they take their own lives. Kids live in a very abusive (sexually, physically, or emotionally, perhaps all of the above). They either grow up and perpetuate the cycle of abuse, or they take their own lives. (I do realize that some kids are rescued from these terrible plights, but the number who don't is quite staggering).

I'm sure many folks here have felt the hot spit of disrespect and cruelty by the mouths and hands of our peers, parents, and sadly, so called friends. It hurts like hell, but you've got to remember one thing: Do not let people take your power. I learned that lesson the hard way a few years ago.

Allow me to quote Ani Difranco. These two different songs indicate different things. In the song Superhero, she lets someone take her power. Conversely, Outta Me on to You, she's taken her power back

"If I was naked and screaming on your front lawn, would you turn on the light and turn on the light and come down? Screaming, There's the asshole who did this to me. Stripped me of my power. Stripped me down." -Superhero... loss of power

This is my favorite, though, because it describes me at this point in my life (the queen of swords)

"Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped on my boot." -Outta Me, On to You. describes power (It also reminds me of Bloodrayne
;) )

Thats one of the things that I find so bizare. He wasnt the kind of guy that got picked on, he was actually pretty popular. Surrounded by friends...hell, he was even talking about getting wasted before the dance tomorrow night. It's bafflng how he must have been thinking...

You know what, Return, I knew a guy in hs that was the same way. He was also the sweetest guy in the world. I grew up with him, though he was a year older than me. These kinds of suicides are the real clinchers. You don't see it coming at all.

I've heard from counselors that suicidal people tend to be happiest towards the end, because they feel a sense of relief that it will soon be over. Is that not depressing? Scary? It's not true in 100% of the cases, but it does happen that way.

It's hard to come to terms with, I know. Eventually you sorta, well, you never really find a sense of peace, but you come to a place where you hope that person has found the peace they sought by coming to terms with themselves post mortem. (If you believe in that sort of thing). Maybe it's just something that you have to realize happens and move on with your life.

I hope that you never have to have some one near you do this sort of thing again, and I certainly hope that no one close to you, or any of you, ever does this.