funny videos
 

magic beer fridge-http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2691701

watch the llama one(its the last one) http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2685782

I know where all ya wives are ..:D

Holy crap..every cafe in the area that sells
fancy coffee is just packed with white wimmen ..
and shit unbeleivable..
do they really talk about tommy's little
hair cut ..and the best nail polish in
the world..and how much the hairdresser
charges..
and oh'..gotta get the car waxed before
HE finds out i took it on the motorway..

I called in to get me a plain coffee to go ..HA..i tell the girly behind the counter...no shit..i don't want shares in the company..i just wanna cup of coffee..but not at
4$s ..
will go home and make my own.

i prefer coke or milk over anything else...


or monster

at 9.5 this will get'cha tanked...

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking.
One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker.

After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; "You know, tomorrow is
my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I
figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at least
like the Mercedez, and she will know that I love her."

After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied; "Well, on my last
anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the
Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, she would at least
like the trip, and she would know that I love her."


The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said; "Yah, well
for my anniversary, I got my old lady a tee-shirt and a vibrator. I
figured if she didn't like the tee-shirt, she could go fuck herself."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells
her it'll make her fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter.
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my
fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than
that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a
very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's
belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me,
but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've
been doing..."

these are my little hooties.........

kool

Awwww. Pretty tabby babies. I got one too:)

Ohhh marroe your kitty looks just like mine. Mine's retarded though, she fell down the stairs today.........again.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
heres mine

kitties are just lil pe0ple.



except........they have "LARGE TALONS" heh heh

And, um, I am not quite sure that the elephant husky is a real animal.

Looking it up now to see if it's real or not. But I don't expect that it is.

awwwwwwwwwwww ..them kitties a real cute..
Mine is black ..with the sentiment of a pmsing woman..
He's old ...and bloody mischevious, and he attacks dogs.

I'm considering buying a pygmy goat.

http://www.indyzoo.com/image_gallery...pygmy-goat.jpg

I think I'll name him Juggernaut.

Well....what a co-ink-e-dink.....i have a pygmy named Juggernaut.

http://www.militarydispatches.co.uk/...my%20Chief.JPG

Wow! That is amaz........wait a minute! You told be your pygmy's name was Sambuca!


http://alcocity.ru/images/catalog/731_b.jpg

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Julliette is the sun. Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon who art sick and pale with grief. Be not her maid since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green and none do wear it. Cast it off..."
(The Tragedy of Romeo and Julliette- William Shakespeare, as written from memory only, by Haunted)

Hah hah! It was time that some asshole infiltrated this thread with some mad dramatic skills.! HAW!

It's an HDC rule that someone come and fuck up the flow. This was my turn. HEHEHEHEHEHEH!

I still love you, though, Newb!:D

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and
an American engineer -- are working together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of
it.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three
wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a
farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land
to be forever fertile in Canada."
Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land
in Canada is forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin is amazed, so he says, "I want a wall
around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels,
Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."

Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,
there is a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer says, "I am very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie
explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet
thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing
can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Hey that kids alright. Its that bright blinding friend thats the problem, looks nice but idamn deceptive.

Still won't stop you dancing tho so keep on truckin'

a monkey walks into a bar and proceeds to get drunk, absolutely legless. . . they call him a cab. . . he staggers up his steps, falls down in a snowdrift and wakes up to find his socks are still wet. . .

i wish it was just a joke

my ideal cat:

'The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish the marriage table'.

"`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe"

Thats fucking annoying me, I know but cant remember what from. Help me here

Jabberwockey- Lewis Carroll : Alice in Wonderland and Her Adventures Through the Looking Glass. ATLG, as spun by the White Knight.

I love that book.:D

Time for some blonde jokes



Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death
in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the
Winter."

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in
the world was Chinese.

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were
stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught
in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with
dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home
and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the
dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and
knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing
happened. So she blew a little harder, and still
nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you
doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman
had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order
to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like
hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes
checked for glasses.The doctor directed her to read
various letters with the left eye while covering the
right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was
which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper
lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the
appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As
he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming
down her face."Look," said the doctor, "there's no
need to get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my
heart set on wire frames."

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came
across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked
it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it
was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps
some things hot and
some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to
buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?"
he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . it keeps hot things hot and
cold things
cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you
have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets
full of golf
balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed
it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him
and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said,
"It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued
to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being
able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does
it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife,
Susie, something nice for their first wedding
anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of
its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply
adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi
Susie," he
said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and
your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I
don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...cing_boobs.gif

This picture of sugar gliders is really creepy. It makes me feel weird when I look at it.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL..and this page too newb'..
can you send this to my e mail plz..
I forward your jokes to my brother in Aussie..

[IMG]http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...nnies/2836.jpg[/IMG]

Talking of blondes, it cant just be coincidence that all three got this simple task wrong can it?

I don't have this saved on my comp.Just cut & paste.

yups..like duh me !!
the jokes are great :D

This is what happens when you're only allowed ONE drink at the company picnic.













http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...e/CompanyP.jpg

Proof, if proof were needed, that Canadians DO have a sense of humour.



[IMG]http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f3...ies/3219_2.jpg[/IMG]

Well, it's Friday again, and that means drunken goodness. Tonights medicine:


Lowenbrau
http://beerpictures.net/lowenbrau/tt...ictures-02.jpg

If you like your beers on the malty side....may i suggest a Sam Adams Double Bock. Very smooth and it packs quite a wallop....8.8 abv.

http://beer.themanroom.com/images/beers/news/61m.jpg

LETTER TO REDNECK SON




Dearest Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within
20 miles of your home, so we moved
This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure about it.
I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the
first time for three days
and the second time for four days.

Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit,
she put a third one in because she heard you have grown
another foot since she last saw you.

Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him two hours
to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what
it is yet, so I don't know
if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your
brother.

Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week.
Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and
drowned. We had him
cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to
safety.Your other two
friends were in the back.
They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom.

A Beer Before It Starts

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the
TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished
it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This
time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop
your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run
around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and
wash and iron all day long?

The husband sighed. "Shit, it's started."

Interesting Psychological Fact...

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending
on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example, If she is
ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a
man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while
he is on fire.


Further studies in this area have been canceled.

Sounds like my ex girlfriend :D I usually hid in a bunker during the PMS fury

hahahahahaha..letter to redneck son