after seeing a pic of a big dog turd rubbing up against it ... yeah .. washing is a definate must in this case ,

and thats how urgeok learned about chocolate starfish...

wait a fuckin minute.. if choc starfish is poop, then what the fuck is hot dog flavored water????

........... sexy time juices?

http://photobucket.com/albums/v721/cirquemacabre/vagbooger.jpg

this thread moved to fast.

maybe its enima runoff, I thought chocolate starfish was the actual ass hole

Well, this is all very well and good, people. I am happy to see that there is a whole thread devoted to poopy. You probably remember a thread I started called "The Truth About Werewolves" which sorta dealt with the actual, real-world, honest-to-gosh reasons why werewolves are so frightening to people, and I think that that original post was at that time a little bit ahead of its time. But seeing as how everyone has caught up, so to speak, here is the original essay:

**********************************

I wanted to talk about werewolves for a second, because I've noticed a lot of people are interested in them and I wanted to share my research.

Most people know that bipedal werewolves like Lon Chaney, Jr. never existed in real life. Real werewolves run on all fours, and furthermore they all run backwards.

This is for two reasons. First, running backwards makes it difficult for anything to sneak up behind them because they're always looking back there. Second, this allows them to aim their frontal defense in the direction they're going in. Yes, I am talking about their rear ends--their butts. Did you know that a werewolf's butt is pretty much the only part of it that's not covered with shaggy, matted hair??

Contrary to popular belief, werewolves don't bite, slash or maul humans. They attack with their turd-launching systems. If a werewolf detects an undesireable human walking through the woods, they will usually launch a moist, spongy, rather fibrous turd out of their behind at the offensive human. This is aided by the unusually streamlined intestines of the lycanthrope, which allow the poo to be ejected at high speed. If you're standing anywhere within fifty feet, look out! It'll get you. In fact one of the oldest words for "werewolf" is the Norse "poo-kannone," which roughly translated means turd launcher. If you are unlucky enough to be in a forest with werewolves, keep your ears open for the "foop! foop!" sound, which means a nasty lycanthrope is in the vicinity.

Anyway, the high fiber content of the werewolf's poo poo is clear proof that they are not primarily meat eaters, they are all too happy to chew on roots, twigs and trees, and from time to time they swallow big handfuls of dirt to cleanse their digestive tract.

well, this is probably most likely directed to barbra, as she would probably be the only one with the balls to answer (that and... seems like she doesnt give a shit)

anyway... you ever shit so big, u cant believe it all came out of you? not necesssarily a LOT of shit, but i literally mean, a fatty log?

I do some big ones that wont flush, they block the ubend and the toilet floods the bathroom... so now I just shit in the bath, because the bath overflow hole drains all the excess water away, when the turd gets stuck in the plughole pipe, when I shower.

sometimes it looks like my poop wont flush, but i guess my toilet is strong enough that it breaks it into little pieces.

i dont think ive ever pooped in the shower. well, maybe when i was a baby..

..and you send them a picture... a couple of days later...:)...thank God for the photo-cellphone

here's a prank, get a roll of clear sandwich sellophane from the supermarket, and on you way back home, visit the public toilets, lift up the seats and pull a tight layer of sellophane over the toilets, then replace the seat and leave....

.... if someone pisses it sprays back, they get soggy pants, and a shit looks like it's floating in the air and they get shitty buttocks.

:rolleyes: ...or that old trick........fill a newspaper full of shit...place it outside your neighbours door...set it on fire and ring the doorbell..

oh yeah sometimes, and everyone here does as well (except sam). I like pooing after I've eaten a lot of spinach

I guess this would generally be directed towards the men.....

when you go to the potty and you see a turd, do you flush it, or do u try and break it in half with ur pee stream?

and if u try and break it in half, and u run out of pee before it does completely, does it piss you off?

flush .. who the hell wants to stare at someone elses floater ..

only a girl would have asked this .... sigh.


scratch that ... only Gren would have asked that ...


weido !

:p

:( i cant take all the credit

i was having a poo discussion with my bf, and he mentioned that to me. he personally always cuts it in half, and gets really really mad if he runs out of pee before it finishes. so he'll flush it and make sure he sees it break.

i think ive found my soulmate!

yes, you're both crazy .. get married and move to a remote island immediately :)

Agreed. :p

what makes u think i wont have a puter @ this island???

^_^

thats ok .. go online all you want .. i just dont think you guys should raise children in civilization ..

(where playing with poop is unfortunately still deemed rude and unsanitary !!! :D )

well, i wasnt exactly planning on having kids anyway. but now im tempted to have 11 kids, just to spite you ^_^

and ill make sure i bring em to the zoo a lot
'Lets do what the monkeys do!!'

from http://www.u.arizona.edu/~rsotelo/monkey2.html
"Monkeys are born without a defense mechanism. Therefore they must resort to flinging poo to defend themselves against predators and other cannibalistic monkeys. A recent study on monkey poo flinging shows that 95% of all monkeys fling their own poo, while only 5% fling other monkeys poo"

a HA! so there is a reason!

i would say that having the intestinal fortitude to chuck your own shit at someone is about the best defence mechanism i can think of.

I'm fighting Bubbles today at 3:00 in the big oak tree.
Think I'll head to taco bell and down 6 burritos loaded with hot sauce first.

.... ill start digging now.

anyone wanna donate a coffin?

i guess its hard to throw when it's really runny like that ..

they'd probably have to use a dixie cup or something like that .. maybe something more flame retardant

waterballoon?????

^_^. im gonna call PETA on you

try it .. go ahead .. just try it.

caus if you do i have a bucket of suprise i'm gonna throw at you .. and i've been saving it up for 2 weeks !

i bet i can blow out more in 1 sitting than u hav in the WHOLLLLEEE bucket

and i bet mines stinkier and more granular!

ok .. looks like i can put the kleenex away now .. wont be needing it ...

bleck

^_^ it was the granular, wasnt it???????

HEHEHEHEHEEHEEHHEH!!

I have to leave the toilet and go in the next cubicle, it makes me want to heave... another thing that pisses me off, are the people who can't be bothered to flush it, you can tell cos the paper is dry at the top.

i guess i am pretty gross huh

anyway. i personally will flush it (with my foot, of course) but will go to another toilet

ya know.. cuz most people wont use a toilet if theresa floater (or even some yellow).... and it would be silly for the cycle to continue. so yeh, i flushes it :)

ur right tho.. coverin it wit paper dont make it alright!

This thread is SOOOOOOOOOO gross. I feel filthy just reading it! I thought I was up to the level of this thread, but it has gone beyond me. This conversation is poo poo!

for more on the subject :

http://www.horror.com/forum/showthre...threadid=15424


and now, back to our regularly scheduled program

eh, if its yellow let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down. why waste water? piss doesn't smell bad when its been dilluted

The turds in that other thread are very obviously bananas sloppily covered with chocolate cake frosting.

.......Aren't they?

nononono that is a fluff state ment, only the one and only fluff

This reminds me:
EVERYTIME I GIVE A GIRL AN ORGASM SHE FAKES,
EVERYTIME I JAM IT IN, THE CONDOM BREAKS,
EVERYTIME I GAMBLE I LOSE ALL MY CHIPS,
AND EVERYTIME I EAT ALL-BRAN I GET THE SHITS
BUT EVERY TIME I SHIT IT TAKES ABOUT AN HOUR,
AND THERES NEVER ANY PAPER SO I HAVE TO HAVE A SHOWER
BUT EVERYTIME I SHOWER THE TOWLS ALREADY WET,
AND ITS NOT WET WITH WATER BUT WET WITH CUM N SWEAT

HAHAHEHAHAHA...LOVE IT

Uh, the only theory that I can think of warped enough would be if a guy wuold fuck a girls "chocolate starfish", and washed his penis in the sink, that would be the "hot dog" flavoured water?!?
I don't fuckin' know man...

As for wiping, yeah, I look at the paper...just the logical thing to do. I understand the merits of the asian "wash" method...My girls indian brother does the same - apparently, it's a widely done thing there...he put it down in a pretty realistic way:
"What would you do if you put your hand into some shit, would you wash it, or wipe it with wadded paper?"
So yeah...I see the point, however, it IS rather time consuming, and my western upbringing has me happy with the paper.
I check when I wipe, and well...when I shower, it's not like I DON'T clean that area.
The important thing is, I suppose, that you don't walk around smelling noticeably of shit.

I had the oddest poop, it was like red-brown and light green, but like in one turd, 1/2 ans 1/2. Kinda soft too. Hey Gren, you should change your title to "brown eyed girl"

"Uh, the only theory that I can think of warped enough would be if a guy wuold fuck a girls "chocolate starfish", and washed his penis in the sink, that would be the "hot dog" flavoured water?!?
I don't fuckin' know man..."

A HA!!

@ Barbra: a few weeks ago i made a thread about strawberries. as in, i had like 5 lbs of strawberries and didnt know what to do with em

anyway.. ... apparently i dont chew enough. i could see them... clearly!! ^_^

they were still pretty red.. well, not as red. kinda like if u leave a strawberry in water, the red leaches out (i like to have sprite/7up, or sparkiling cider, and ill put strawberries in it). and its kina soft.. and pink???. oh i could see the seeds too. nice size chunks.