That always cracked me up about my co-workers. They were constantly asking me stuff like, how do you spell this? What does this mean? What time does such and such start? Who framed Roger Rabbit?? etc.

I would reply the same exact way you just did.

I don't get it.

People are Stupid......The End

wow.. u r digging way too deeply into this

WTF! This is some funny ass shit here. Gotta love those wacky christians! I gues I am VERYT goth, but I dont listne to Marilyn Manso... BUt I do have a Ricard Cheese CD that remade a Manson song, does that count?

LOL!!!!!!!!!

My team leader does that alot with his spelling when typing emails in Microsoft Outlook... "How do you spell 'analyst'?"

I have asked co workers why he doesnt just use spell check. We have come to the conclusion that his original spelling of the words would not be close enough for even spell check to recommend the correct spelling.

heh heh heh.. me, or Norbert? Thanks for posting that, it was bothering the perfectionist in me.

Re: OH MY GOTH!!!...You Guys Better Seek Professional Help...Immediately!
 

wow i never knew thats why people stare at me during church:D :D

Re: OH MY GOTH!!!...You Guys Better Seek Professional Help...Immediately!
 

sry bout the double post but
-Misbehaves at school.
DOn't have to be gothic for
-Misbehaves at home.
Same as above
-. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
hahahahahahaha
-Watches cable television
hahahahaha

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
Wonder who this sounds like
--Masturbates
Same as first 2 comments

does anyone actually want one of their potentially annoying and embarrassing parents hanging around them and their friends? I mean, I can see like once and a while, if you want to spend time with a parent, or you just want money, but come on, you need some privacy!

Lol, reminds me of this one time....

Me and [Doesnt want name said online] were hanging out, and 3 of our female friends showed up at my front door. We didnt care to be anywhere near them, so we told them to go away. They came inside an watched Oprah with my mother. I was like Wtf? It was so strange

doesnt want name said online ?

what is he a movie star ? a politician ?
Afraid that hanging with you will harm his image ?

Paranoid I guess, no idea

*Spews Count Chocula all over keyboard*

I would say something about this but what would be the point.

Christians are so tolerant.

*Goes for my Count Chocula, finds none, grabs Frankenberry*

Pretty much sums me up!

ditto

Frankenberrys kick ass

Organized religions make me want to throw up..

"-Frequently wears black clothing."
OMG, Johnny Cash was a goth!

"-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts."
Too much of a generalization. If it's an 80's synth group or something like that, maybe, but if it's a Doobie Brothers shirt, probably not

"-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish."
Ok, now they're stealing stuff from You Might Be A Prostitute if...

"-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols."
Silly rabbit, symbols don't worship anything.
Also, ankhs are Egyptian

"-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos."
That's skaters, you idiot

"-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)"
Also, reimburse the $20-30 that was paid for said album

"-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically."
Eccentric:
1 a : deviating from an established or usual pattern or style b : deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways
damn those whimsical speakers!

"-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports."
Bible: Boring except for Leviticus
Prayer: I have bad knees
Church: *shrug*
Sports: Conform! CONFORM! Also, boring except wrestling

"-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan."
only maybe one or two of those involve Satan. For some people who hate him so much, they sure do give him a lot of power

"-Takes drugs."
HA!

"-Drinks alcohol."
See above, re: Drugs

"-Is suicidal and/or depressed."
Emo

"-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)"
Clearly, his research on self-mutilation was staggering

"-Complains of boredom."
...yeah...I'm not even going to bother

"-Sleeps too excessively or too little."
Well, which is it?

"-Is excessively awake during the night."
Define "night" Is it when it's dark out? Are there specific hours? What if they're going to midnight mass? Being awake at midnight is a bit excessive, especially when you're going somewhere for an hour or so

"-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)"
uh, if it's pertaining to vampires, then it's promoting the idea that sunlight would cause one to burst into flames, which would mean that "His" light would be of great use. Or maybe they just REALLY liked The Others.

"-Demands an unusual amount of privacy."
How much is unusual?

"-Spends large amounts of time alone."
Maybe people don't like them. If they're normal by the exact terms of this list, I would understand why

"-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)"
who says they're evil? And if they're alone, how would you know what they're doing?

"-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult."
Well, you guys aren't any fun

"-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this."
Teachers: A lot of them are morons
Priests: Pedophiles
Nuns: Repressed control-frekas
Elders: You mean old people? How are they authority figures? They're senile and mean.

"-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home."
Maybe it's the shitty parenting that's to blame.

"-Eats excessively or too little."
Excessively: Take it as a compliment and shut the fuck up
Too little: Dads, maybe next time you're slapping your wife around you could add in that she should cook better

"-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this."
No it isn't. Dumbass

"-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)"
Again, you obviously know nothing about vampires.

"-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)"
Ah, the old "Liberal-Jew Media Consipracy" schtick. Booooring

"-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature."
Yeah, because Christians know nothing about commiting violence towards other people.

"-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer."
See, now that's automatically assuming that they're doing something bad on the computer. How about having a bit of that "faith" crap you people seem to hold in such high regard?

"-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music."
Given some of the videos they have nowadays, they might be having a seizure. Yes, your kid is dying right in front of you while you yell at them. Is that another sign of Gothismness?

"-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates"
I'm just going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on

"-Is homosexual and/or bisexual."
Of the 1,200 vague and stupid definitions of "goth" I've seen, butt sex is in exactly 0 of them

"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism."
Yeah, you obviously have done no research into any topic that you've talked about in this shitty essay. You know nothing about any of these religions because you're ignorant and intolerant and a dumbass. I'm surprised you spelled Buddhism right.

"-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth"."
Yeah, if they've got any of those, they aren't being serious.

"-Claims to be a goth."
Usually means they're not a goth. See also: People who are "punk"

While you're at it, you may as well tell the parents that if they have any of these symptoms at all (Jesus wouldn't take any chances, after all) to round them all up and burn them at the stake. But that's an interest in death, better throw yourselves on the fire while you're at it

wtf r they talking about 'complains of boredom' when i see people yawning in church all the time

O WAIT. their not bored, just tired....

so basicly everybody on the planet worships is a satan worshiping goth.

out of all the things i've heard,read,seen,done and lived through in my short time on this planet this has got to be the stupidest thing i've ever come in contact with whatever dumb fuck wasted precious moments of thier life to write that piece of shit should be covered in blood and tossed into a lion's den.

Nice comments, STE. I agree lol. Oh and Austin, it's one of the dumbest, but of all things I think that the word 'stupidest' is by far more stupid.lol

baptist sites
 

Some of my favourite websites are baptist sites like the one originally quoted.

Cutting Edge has a lot of free articles that interpret events in the news in accordance with what Jesus would think, or something. The newsletters are fascinating.

Dial the Truth is similar, but less restrained. It has a fantastic article on why Christian rock bands are really all Satanists.

Creationism.org explains that there's no such thing as evolution, God created the world as written in Genesis and dinosaurs walked amongst us a few thousand years ago. (Actually, I never looked up which version of the creation they prefer. Genesis gives 2, and they disagree with each other.)

A spoof site that can be hard to distinguish from the real ones is Landover Baptist.

There is no one sicker than religious people....

Better to be a spawn of Satan.

:cool:

Haha! Here are the ones that apply to me:


-Frequently wears black clothing. (The majority of my wardrobe is black)

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (Doesn't everyone?!)

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. (Haven't worn black lipstick in a few years but I like heavy dark eye makeup and black nailpolish)

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) (What's wrong with antisocial music?:D)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports (If sports are included in this then it applies. I pray and I go to church on occasion...and thank God my church doesn't have these stupid beliefs. But I absolutely hate sports. Never have liked them, never will. Sports=most boring thing ever created)

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom. (I live in a crappy little town, what else would anyone expect?)

-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (I have trouble sleeping)

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) (The sun hurts my eyes and I don't like it and I think it should be dark or cloudy outside all the time...so what? :p)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Eats excessively or too little. (Too little...sometimes)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (Haha...so I like Count Chocula!)

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) (Ok, I don't DRINK blood...but I like the taste of it)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. (the music part not the satanic symbols)

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

You're all going to die down here.

Isn´t that nice. :)

My brother thinks I am a closet goth, fit alot of these things, but not extroverted enough to go that way.

Actually.......I am more a goth/hippie......weird, but would make sense if you knew me. :p

ones that apply to me



-Frequently wears black clothing.
(don't priest also wear black?)

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts
(showing that you like a certian band is not being goth retards:rolleyes: )

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY
(yeah so what? it my american rights to listen to waht i want)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
(what you think i want to be alone?)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
(waht you think i want to go to the movies with my girlfriend and have my mom there watching us)

-shakes head violently to music
(hold on i have a major head ache)



yep these apply to me

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
(and your point is)

-Sleeps too excessively or too little
(I've been waking up at around 2 and 3 oclock lately but go backi to sleep and wake up tired)

-Complains of boredom
(im bored this threead is fucking boring :D

-Spends large amounts of time alone.
(at home yes cause im not really in a good relationship with my parents..they are like the cristians that made this goth thing)

-Masturbates
(even priest masturbate sometimes)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.
(its just fictional game play i can tell real verses fake a game will not make me hurt ppl)

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
(what am i on right now my ass?)

"-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)"
(No its so i can read, sleep,study, and/or so i can meditate, yeah i meditate to calm my self down if im really pissed at something that happened that day)

"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism
(Buddhism is about finding iner peace, not about satan you retards :rolleyes: )

But INNER peace is bad, according to them. You have to find peace through Jesus. Nevermind the fact that, going by what they say, Jesus is God, and God is everywhere and is, thus, in us, so inner peace would be finding peace through God, and Jesus.

This perfectly logical line of reasoning didn't work with the Jesus people that came through a while ago, so it wouldn't work with these people either probably.

wait according to that jesus/god is a prev he watches us all the time that mean he watches us in the showering and when ever we are naked...... does preverted cristians:mad:

I wear black socks too work, I think me feet want to be Goth.

Everyone likes to have a good time, even Jesus Christ turned water to wine.
which by there standerds he's consumed alcohol which means even................JESUS CHRIST IS GOTH!!!!! *univers implodes*